King
The black man is always targeted.
Kind of a funny story on that, when I was in college I was going through depression because of the very reasons we’re speaking about.I wouldnt care if we had a code of conduct similar to the Jews or Chinese.
But as long as Africa is weak, the global black collective will be weak - because thats home court.
There is no code of conduct.... nikkas out here selling out for the enemy.... our women sleeping with the enemy.... our children being educated by the enemy.... our greatest minds being employed and exploited by the enemy.
Individually I'm very blessed but it doesnt matter if youre scoring 50 points on a losing team.
Does it depress me? Sometimes.
Do I self-medicate? Yes.
I need therapy but I dont think a therapist could help me.... most therapists are educated in euro-centric institutions and wouldnt be able to understand how I feel anyway, so fukk that.
Some days I'm very motivated and fired up... some days I look at the international news and then get depressed
I just get up everyday and keep grinding.... nothing I can do but keep going... keep grinding....
Kind of a long read so I spoilered it.
So my usual white female NP went through all my tests and had the “bright idea” to go out of her way to refer me to one of the uni therapists. Like she was def on her white savior complex, got all excited and we both walked together through the hospital right to her office.
And she’s like “hey Ms. we got one for you”
Turns out she was a black (well, biracial black woman with an Italian last name) but I didn’t think anything of it. Looking back at it now I think she was half African half white with an Italian husband
At first was like okay I ain’t even know any black therapists worked here, thanks for the recommendation doc
But as soon as I get in her office it’s a weird ass vibe, like there is genuinely zero chemistry. Very by the book stuff. We’re both sitting looking at each other like . I could tell she wanted me out of there.
Idk how procedure is for a therapist but she went out of her way to make things as non-personal as possible just to tell me some simple shyt. And then she had me take some BS test that asked super obvious questions like “are you sad” to determine I had depression.
And then immediately she’s like what kind of medication do you want? And I’m like medication? I thought you was a therapist ain’t we supposed to talk about my problems???
So without asking me any questions about why I was feeling this way. She pulls out a pamphlet and idk if she did this shyt on purpose but she LEGIT says you should get hobbies “like horseback riding, sailing, swimming, even ice hockey”
I’m like you know we don’t do that shyt. Where the fukk did you get this generic ass pamphlet from with all these CAC hobbies on it?
That’s not even the worst part. Legit for my next appointment (with me going through legit depression, had to force myself out of bed) I show up to the office like right at our appointment time but it takes the nurse like 5 mins to check me in. Keep in mind this is an HOUR appointment. And this bytch sends a message back to the nurse like “sorry, can’t do it. You missed your appointment, book another one online.”
I’m like WOW for 5 minutes??? Are you serious? Can’t even cut me a little slack? I would’ve legit preferred us to cut the appointment short vs you telling me no at the door
THEN - this is where all the comes OUT!!!
So when I go back for my rescheduled appointment - I make sure I’m EXTRA EARY and this WENCH is LEGIT 20-25 MINUTES LATE.
No apology or nothing. When I see her, I give her the I was half tempted to be like “you refused to see me for being 5 minutes late yet you make me wait almost 30 minutes AND are still gonna cut my appointment short???” I had class after and everything.
And from there it was more bullshyt and she’s like well I told you needed to get hobbies. You should try horseback riding
From then on I already knew what it was, all skinfolk aint kinfolk. Especially with this therapy shyt, there was no damn way a biracial non-ADOS woman with a white husband could EVER understand what’s going on in the head of a black man in this country
And she purposely did that slick shyt to make me stop seeing her, def didn’t want me in her office I could tell. Was probably offended that the white nurse even brought me to her
Waste of mf time, has thrown me off all therapy since, I’ve just been self medicating.
And she’s like “hey Ms. we got one for you”
Turns out she was a black (well, biracial black woman with an Italian last name) but I didn’t think anything of it. Looking back at it now I think she was half African half white with an Italian husband
At first was like okay I ain’t even know any black therapists worked here, thanks for the recommendation doc
But as soon as I get in her office it’s a weird ass vibe, like there is genuinely zero chemistry. Very by the book stuff. We’re both sitting looking at each other like . I could tell she wanted me out of there.
Idk how procedure is for a therapist but she went out of her way to make things as non-personal as possible just to tell me some simple shyt. And then she had me take some BS test that asked super obvious questions like “are you sad” to determine I had depression.
And then immediately she’s like what kind of medication do you want? And I’m like medication? I thought you was a therapist ain’t we supposed to talk about my problems???
So without asking me any questions about why I was feeling this way. She pulls out a pamphlet and idk if she did this shyt on purpose but she LEGIT says you should get hobbies “like horseback riding, sailing, swimming, even ice hockey”
I’m like you know we don’t do that shyt. Where the fukk did you get this generic ass pamphlet from with all these CAC hobbies on it?
That’s not even the worst part. Legit for my next appointment (with me going through legit depression, had to force myself out of bed) I show up to the office like right at our appointment time but it takes the nurse like 5 mins to check me in. Keep in mind this is an HOUR appointment. And this bytch sends a message back to the nurse like “sorry, can’t do it. You missed your appointment, book another one online.”
I’m like WOW for 5 minutes??? Are you serious? Can’t even cut me a little slack? I would’ve legit preferred us to cut the appointment short vs you telling me no at the door
THEN - this is where all the comes OUT!!!
So when I go back for my rescheduled appointment - I make sure I’m EXTRA EARY and this WENCH is LEGIT 20-25 MINUTES LATE.
No apology or nothing. When I see her, I give her the I was half tempted to be like “you refused to see me for being 5 minutes late yet you make me wait almost 30 minutes AND are still gonna cut my appointment short???” I had class after and everything.
And from there it was more bullshyt and she’s like well I told you needed to get hobbies. You should try horseback riding
From then on I already knew what it was, all skinfolk aint kinfolk. Especially with this therapy shyt, there was no damn way a biracial non-ADOS woman with a white husband could EVER understand what’s going on in the head of a black man in this country
And she purposely did that slick shyt to make me stop seeing her, def didn’t want me in her office I could tell. Was probably offended that the white nurse even brought me to her
Waste of mf time, has thrown me off all therapy since, I’ve just been self medicating.