the best way to create opportunities for yourself is to be likeable..
that goes for any type of endeavor - professional, social, etc
now substance is also needed, but..
it's like flour vs sugar
People can taste the sugar
How to be likeable??
Unfortunately it's innate
But even an unlikeable person can maximize whatever likeability they possess
Generally-- people seem most likeable when they are engaged in the moment/situation/topic, and feel confident and comfortable,
Without the smugness or condescending attitude..
How to communicate in a natural way without smugness??
Well, some topics are truly a matter of opinion.. so declaratives should be minimized
Also- It can be natural to state a fact to kick off a topic.. but that fact should be true and also not cliche
Like, if you are talking about Idaho, saying "Boise is the capital of Idaho
" would aggravate the listener.. almost as much as "Lewiston is the capital of Idaho
"
But sharing something funny or interesting about Idaho might create appeal
What is funny or interesting??
Well.. That's where knowing the other people's likes and interests helps..
There are many additional considerations.. but let me end with being genuine
You can't pretend to care about things and jump on the bandwagon..
Posting in TLR about Africa,, , will get you daps..
But you can't fake it
If you are a grown man,, and you haven't visited africa one time, then spending a lot of time on that topic rings hollow
Getting daps from other frauds wont make you seem less fraudulent
You become a joke to those not interested in the subject,, and contemptable to the people whose interest in Africa is genuine..
So basically, your only appeal is to the other people feigning their interest
Which is not a group worthy of socializing with
All of this is to say..
someone is not lonely because they are black..
They are lonely because they, as a singular person, are unlikeable.. and struggle to harness what small measure of likeability they possess
