A lying feminist neoliberal lawyer politician and Goldman Sachs after-dinner speaker was teaching a class on Paul Krugman, known $hill. "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Krugman and accept that he is the most highly-evolved liberal economist and political commentator the world has ever known, even greater than Cenk Uygur!"
At this moment, a brave, white, atheist, millenial freshman high school student who had donated over $1500 of his parent's money and who phonebanked daily from his high school's computer lab and who fully supported taxing other people's retirement savings to fund his education stood up and held up a photograph.
"Who is this marching with MLK?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It's my husband Bill, you stupid millennial".
"Wrong. It’s actually Bernie Sanders. If your husband Bill marched with MLK as you say… then how come you once supported Barry Goldwater?"
The politician was visibly shaken, and dropped her chalk and copy of Hard Choices. She stormed out of the room crying those neoliberal crocodile tears. The same tears Democrat cry for the "blacks" (who today are so stupid they vote against their interests) when they jealously try to spend more money on gun control rather than free education for middle-class people. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Hillary Clinton, wished she had listened to Reddit and become more than a sociopathic neoliberal shill. She wished so much that she could take an overdose of heroin to spare herself from embarrassment, but she herself had voted for the 1994 crime bill and the War on Drugs!
The students applauded and all registered Democratic that day and accepted Bernie Sanders as their lord and savior. A finch named "Socialist Denmark" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed proletarian tears onto Old Glory, turning it into the Red Banner. The Communist Manifesto was read several times, and Karl Marx himself showed up and abolished social class, wage labour, the state, money, and student debt. And also legalized weed.
The professor lost the Democratic primary and was fired the next day. She was arrested by the FBI and sent to one of the federal prisons she and her husband had built for all eternity.
The student's name? HA Goodman.
#FeelTheBern
Get your information and corny jokes from Reddit, brehs
What a fakkit
Like I give a damn what they think. Im worried about down ballot and yeah not voting for Bernie.
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