The official Michael Jordan is an a$$hole compilation thread

[B.drizzle]

We have all heard the stories of the GOAT a$$hole now we can compile them all into one thread.

Let's start.

Chamillionaire Photo Request
When rapper Chamillionaire had the opportunity to meet Jordan, his hero, he asked MJ for a picture with him. Not only did Jordan brush him off, but he also cursed him out and disrespected him by saying "“You know what, I tell you what, you pay $15,000 right now for a jersey from me and I’ll take a picture with you.'" Needless to say, Jordan lost one celebrity and childhood fan that night.
MJ Kicked out of Country Club
Michael Jordan is known to have a love for golfing, but now there's one less place where he can do that. After he showed up to the private La Gorce Country Club in Miami not following the dress code, he was asked to change. His reply was of typical Jordan-ian fashion. According to Curtis Bunn of the Atlantic Black Star, he explains:"But when a club official approached him on the 12th hole and asked him to change his wardrobe, Jordan refused. Arrogant. Not good and just plain old arrogant."
The country club's response was to ban him from playing on its golf course ever again.
When Jordan's public relations office issued a statement regarding the incident, it concluded with: "'I guess it’s their loss – as MJ is a great golfer, and a great guest.'"

MJ forces Chuck Daly to give him a rematch in golf after losing

Michael Jordan doesn’t spend too much time on the basketball court anymore. Now that he’s retired, his attention lies primarily on the golf course.
Some would argue that’s also where it was in the summer of 1992.
The famous Dream Team was practicing in Monte Carlo before they went on to obliterate the competition at the Barcelona Olympics.
One day, his coach Chuck Daly and Jordan were playing a round of golf. It went down to the wire, but eventually, Daly came out on top by one shot. Knowing when to quit when he was ahead, Daly vowed to never play a round against Jordan again.
Of course, the competitive Jordan would have none of that. He wouldn’t take his loss in stride and focus on winning in the Olympics.
In a Sports Illustrated article, columnist Rick Reilly details what occurred:
The next morning, at the crack of dawn, Jordan rang Daly's room. Getting no response, he went directly to Daly's room and knocked. Then he pounded. He wouldn't go away until he got his rematch. He got it, and he won by a shot. But would you expect anything else?
Jordan could not accept losing, and while it made him the greatest basketball player ever, it reportedly brought out petulant and disagreeable behavior.

Steve Kerr
The two guards were matched up in a scrimmage. It was intense. Jordan had heard the critics after the Bulls’ playoff loss to the Orlando Magic and intended to silence them. He averaged 26.9 points in the final 17 regular-season games after coming out of retirement, but shot only 41 percent from the field. The postseason defeat to the Magic in the conference semifinals, his first series loss since 1990, had some suggesting his best years were behind him. At 32 years old, Jordan was hell-bent on proving otherwise. It was palpable in every drill, every time down the floor.
He and Kerr talked trash on a couple of possessions, and then it escalated.
“I took exception to something he said,” Kerr says. “So I was talking back and I don’t think Michael appreciated that ... and we got in the lane and he gave me a forearm shiver to the chest and I pushed him back. And next thing you know, our teammates were pulling him off of me.”
The 6-foot-3, 175-pound Kerr wound up with a black eye. He threw some punches before it was broken up, too.
“I knew that if we were in an actual fight he could actually probably kill me if he wanted to,” Kerr says. “It was more just I’m going to stand up for myself.”
Kerr and Jordan didn’t have much of a relationship at that point. They’d played together for only two months. Before Jordan left the arena that day, then-Bulls coach Phil Jackson -- who perhaps would have prevented the tiff if he wasn’t in his office doing a media conference call, Kerr suggests -- told the superstar he had to speak with Kerr that night.
Jordan made the call within the hour and apologized. They talked some more at practice the next day and moved on.

Hall of Fame a$$hole speech
This is the one story that you can be sure is 100 percent true.
The Hall of Fame acceptance speech is one that is supposed to be heartfelt and modest. It is supposed to be a reflection on good NBA memories and an opportunity to thank friends and family who’ve helped along the way.
The key phrase “supposed to be” apparently doesn’t pertain to Michael Jordan.
At least the speech came from his heart. And through this “23-minute cringe-athon,” Jordan exposed to the world what went through his mind and how he felt.
As columnist Rick Reilly of ESPN wrote, “Nobody was spared, including his high school coach, his high school teammate, his college coach, two of his pro coaches, his college roommate, his pro owner, his pro general manager, the man who was presenting him that evening, even his kids!”
Jordan blasted almost everyone and everything in his life, including the Hall of Fame itself, and found time for only six thank yous.
It was typical Michael Jordan at his best.

Fooling Charles Barkley after being down 2-1 in the finals
The 1993 NBA Finals was a showdown between two of NBA’s biggest superstars of all time: Charles Barkley of the Phoenix Suns and Michael Jordan of the Bulls.
They were also great friends who went golfing together in the middle of the championship series.
According to Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach:
The day before game 4 of the Bulls Suns finals with the Bulls leading the series 2-1. Michael and Charles Barkley went golfing. They played 48 holes of golf. And Michael bought Charles a $20,000 diamond earring. Johnny asked MJ, “what did you do all that for?” Michael responded, “he won’t get in my way the rest of the series, what’s $20,000 to me? Charles thinks we’re great friends. I hate that fat f—.” Jordan dropped 55 in game 4 and Barkley never touched him once.
Sounds like Barkley can stand to make some new friends.

 

[B.drizzle]

Medical Bill Cartwright

You know it’s bad news when the Bulls released one of the few teammates Jordan liked and brought in a player from a rival team.
Bad news for that player, that is.
Eric Freeman of "Yahoo! Sports" noted:
When the Bulls let Charles Oakley go and brought in Bill Cartwright, Jordan resented the loss of his friend and took it out on Cartwright, calling him “Medical Bill” and intentionally throwing impossible-to-handle passes at him in practice to draw attention to what he perceived to be his bad hands.
Cartwright went on to help the Bulls win three championship rings with Michael Jordan, defending the paint against elite centers on opposing teams.
Jordan may not have wanted to admit it, but Cartwright’s “bad hands” contributed to Jordan’s success in a big way.
MJ to Rodney McCray "You're a loser, you've always been a loser"

Rodney McCray joined the Chicago Bulls in the 1992-1993 season at the age of 31. He was a very serviceable forward who had just averaged 16.6 points and 8.2 rebounds three years prior.
Eager to win a title, he was willing to come off the bench to help the Bulls.
He had no idea what would come next.
When asked by Sports Illustrated, a former teammate of Michael Jordan had this to say:
'He's the most viciously competitive player I've ever seen. That's what makes him, I think, the greatest player ever. He has practically ruined [reserve forward] Rodney McCray for us.' When the two players are on opposite teams in scrimmages, the source says, "[ Jordan] is in Rodney's face, screaming, 'You're a loser! You've always been a loser!' Rodney can hardly put up a jumper now.’
McCray ended up winning a title that year, but only averaged 15.9 minutes per game. It was also the last season he ever played.
Challenging the Chief

As one of the “Big Three” in the Boston Celtics ‘80s dynasty with Larry Bird and Kevin McHale, Robert Parish was a proven leader.
The seven-foot center, nicknamed "The Chief," had won multiple championships at that point and commanded the respect of everyone around him.
Well, everyone but Michael Jordan.
Parish was part of the 1996-97 Chicago Bulls in the middle of Jordan’s second three-peat. Instead of welcoming him with open arms, Jordan responded quite differently:
In one of his first practices with the Bulls, Parish botched one of the plays and was amused to find Jordan jawing at him just inches from his face.
‘I told him, “I’m not as enamored with you as these other guys. I’ve got some rings too,”’ Parish recalled. ‘At that point he told me, “I’m going to kick your ass.” I took one step closer and said, “No, you really aren’t.” After that he didn’t bother me.’
As journalist Kurt Helin states, “By that point, Jordan was an established leader whose style was intimidation and pressure. Jordan was the ultimate alpha male who let you get away with nothing.”
And apparently, that included future Hall of Famers.
Making Kwame Brown cry

NICK WASS/Associated Press
Kwame Brown has become one of the biggest NBA draft busts of all time. He stands as one example of young talented phenoms who never lived up to their hype.
However, his situation as a Washington Wizard certainly wasn’t helped by the general manager who drafted him.
In a Sports Illustrated article by L. Jon Wertheim:
As a leader Jordan proved more tormentor than mentor. Many Washington players got the business end of a Jordan harangue, but he designated second-year forward Kwame Brown as the whipping boy…A source told SI that Jordan ritually reduced Brown to tears in front of the team.
The article continues that Jordan called Kwame Brown expletives, including homophobic remarks, according to The Washington Post.
Not only did Jordan hurt teammates, but he also insulted his own players as a GM as well.
Shoot it you F**king Midget

In the Bulls’ first-round battle against the Charlotte Hornets in 1995 after Jordan’s highly touted comeback to the NBA, Jordan didn’t hesitate to leave his mark.
According to former Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach, Jordan was guarding Muggsy Bogues when this happened:
On the biggest possession of the game, Muggsy had the ball with the Hornets down one. Jordan backed off of him and told him, 'Shoot it, you f***ing midget.' Muggsy shot it, didn’t come close. A year later Muggsy actually told Johnny Bach that he believes that single play ruined his career. His shot never recovered.
The next year, Bogues’ career certainly started to decline. Whether or not Jordan was the primary reason for this is up to debate.
MJ visits an old teammate's home and plays card with his mother, then cheats when she goes to the bathroom

The biggest and most egregious example of Michael Jordan being Michael Jordan didn’t even happen on a basketball court. Instead, it transpired at the home of North Carolina teammate Buzz Peterson.
The story goes like this: Peterson invites Michael Jordan over to play a casual game of cards with Peterson’s mother. No money is wagered—just a simple, friendly game.
But when the old woman gets up to use the bathroom, Peterson catches Jordan trying to cheat.
Trying to cheat not to win any money, but just because he wants to win at all costs.
Author Chuck Klosterman summarizes it best when he says:
And because the character in this anecdote is MJ, the story is charming. However, I doubt Buzz Peterson would tell this yarn if it had involved his mother and some random dude he met in Anthropology 251 (and if he did, the story would now be about that one time he brought a lunatic home for Thanksgiving break).
Presidents can get checked to

Bill Clinton, They two were playing golf together when MJ forced the former president to play from the furthest away tees.
"You're going to play from the little girls' tees?" Jordan asked him.
This one is for you Mutombo/blind free throw
In a Nov. 23, 1991, game against the Denver Nuggets, Jordan had some fun with Dikembe Mutombo at the free throw line with five seconds left in a Bulls victory. "Hey, Mutombo. This one's for you," Jordan says, and makes a free throw with his eyes closed.

 

[B.drizzle]

Clyde "The Glide" Drexler
When told that Clyde Drexler was a better three-point shooter than him, Jordan responded "Clyde is a better three-point shooter than I choose to be."
Ping Pong
He once lost a game of ping pong to a teammate, then proceeded to buy a table and spend the next six months practicing almost non stop.
Allan Houston
When the Dream Team lost to the college All Stars in a scrimmage, before the rematch the following day Jordan pointed at Allan Houston and said "I got him," and as the legend goes, he didn't touch the ball for two hours.
Mel Turpin
One game in Utah, Jordan dunked on John Stockton. Jazz owner Larry Miller yelled "pick on someone your own size." On the next possession he dunked on 7'1 center Mel Turpin and shouted "he big enough for you?"
Jerry Stackhouse Rookie Year
I heard one about this story when Jerry stackhouse was a rookie.
-Stackhouse tells the story about his first encounter with Mike as a rookie
-So Jerry is guarding Mike as Mike brings the ball down the court. Jerry is waiting for him on the other side of half court.
Jordan makes eye contact with Stackhouse and starts the trash talk of course
JORDAN:Which Side?
Jerry doesn't say anything back because he knows Jordan is trying to get in his head.
JORDAN: Which Side? STACKHOUSE: Whatever man, just play ball man JORDAN: I'm not saying what side do you want me to go by you, thats gonna happen regardless, I'm going to put you on my poster today so I am asking you what side you like of yourself and I'll make sure that when I dunk on you I know what side you want showing.
1 on 1 with Pippen
Even after some grueling practices and off-season training sessions. He would occasionally ask Scottie Pippen to a 1 on 1 match that would sometimes last a few hours.
MTV VJ Kennedy
[In 1995], she was having dinner with MJ and Russell Simmons at the Bowery Bar in NYC, when Michael broke out some dice.
Before long, Kennedy says, Jordan decided it was "time to play for something" ... and said, "If I win, you come back to my hotel room with me tonight."
Kennedy says she freaked out because she was a virgin —and imagined MJ's giant penis would "eviscerate me from the inside out" ... so she asked if they could play for Knicks tickets instead.
And that's when Jordan allegedly reminded Kennedy he had a wife — and offered her Nets tickets as a consolation.
BJ Armstrong (Johnny Bach, former Bulls assistant coach)
BJ Armstrong? Very talented player, but unbelievably sensitive. Jordan used to tear him apart every minute. If BJ missed two shots in a row on passes from MJ, Michael would walk by the bench and say, “get his ass out.”
OJ Mayo
“I’m playing in my camp against O.J. Mayo, he was a top high school kid coming out,” Jordan says. “And I had never met him. First time. In front of my camp, he starts this thing about ‘you can’t guard me, you can’t do this.’ I got my campers here, so obviously I can’t really can’t go where I want to go because I own my camp. So I stop the camp, send the kids to bed.
“We go back to playing, and he starts his whole thing ‘you can’t guard me.’ Finally I just said, ‘You may be the best high school player, but I’m the best player in the world.’ So from this point on, it’s a lesson. And from that point on, it was a lesson. He never won a game. I posted him up, I did everything.”
Jim Jackson
During the 1996-1997 season, while Jim Jackson was on the Nets, Jackson was enjoying a good game against Michael Jordan and the defending champion Chicago Bulls. Jackson was talking trash to Jordan who shut up Jackson by pointing out that he was wearing Jordans.
Airport "Gambling"
1.Jordan used to bet with his teammates that his bags would get taken off of the plane first, then pay airport workers to do it.
2.Jordan used to bet with his teammates about everything, and one time he bet on whose luggage would come out first at the airport. What his teammates didn't know is that he had pre-arranged for his luggage to come out first with the employees at the airport, who of course were happy to do something for Michael Jordan. I hope he tipped the airport employees afterwards, but that wasn't part of the story.

 

[B.drizzle]

Two Left Shoes
During the 92 Dream Team run Clyde Drexler was a part of the team along with Jordan. Drexler's Blazers had just lost to Jordan's Bulls earlier that summer in the NBA finals. In addition Jordan had completely cemented his position as best SG in history, a title that many had thought would be Drexler's just a few years earlier. Anyway, that summer Drexler brings two left shoes to practice on accident. He is so fearful of what Jordan will say to/about him that he wears the two left shoes for the entire practice. Jordan is said to have heard about this years later. He laughed.
Like Father Like Son
"Before the New York game earlier in the month, Jordan, Pippen, and Grant, all of whom had boys under three at the time, had debated for a half hour about whose child had the biggest penis. They eventually agreed it was Pippen's"
Caught Looking
He was using the bathroom and Michael Jordan walked in and used the urinal next to him. The guy was starstruck and ended up looking at Jordan's dikk for some reason, and said it was large enough that he looked at it for too long. Jordan noticed, smiled, zipped up, said "Gotta play to win" and walked out.
Luc Longley
"We were playing Detroit and I came out on fire in the first half. I think I had 17-18 points, half-a-dozen rebounds, a couple of blocks — playing like an All-Star. For the first time ever, because Michael was very cautious with his praise, he came into the locker room high-fiving me, slapping me, hugging me, saying, 'Man, you play like that, we’re going to win the world championship. That’s awesome! You’re an All-Star. Why don’t you play like that every day? I knew you had it in ya.' Anyway, so we went out for the second half ... and I finished the game with exactly the same stat line as I had at half-time. I had a terrible second half. We came in after the game — we’d won. When everybody else was happy to be winning, Michael was furious. He said, “Luc, I am never, ever going to say a nice thing about you again.” It demonstrated how Michael thought that because he said something good … Like, it had nothing to do with Michael, really. It was me playing the game. I just drew a couple of fouls and didn’t play as well and didn’t get my opportunities. He was true to his word; never said anything nice again."
Story of Michael Jordan and Wayne Gretzky in Vegas.
"I remember a night when Wayne Gretzky insulted Michael Jordan at the table. It was a private salon game. Michael had ordered a drink from the cocktail waitress, and he gave her a five-dollar chip. Wayne took it off the cocktail waitress's tray, gave it back to Michael, grabbed a hundred-dollar chip from Michael's stack and put it on the cocktail waitress's tray. Then he said, 'That's how we tip in Las Vegas, Michael.'"
Same thing except Barkley calls him an a$$hole for it
After a night of fukking around with some friends in Vegas he had to tip the girl who took care of everything for them. Long story short, MJ said that he aint tipping shyt and that her boss should pay his employees better so they don't ask for tips. Tipping is customary when the person devotes their entire night for your pleasure. Barkley noticed what he did, said: "Man you an a$$hole", and wrote the girl a check.
Bugs Bunny

Day one of filming, he got in Bugs's face and said "I am going to win the Oscar for this. You are nothing. You are here to try and keep up with me."
Bugs just waggled an eyebrow at the camera and said "Eh, he don't know me very well, do he?" Then he shook Jordan's hand, and returned to set. That's when Jordan realized he was holding dynamite.
After that, they were cool.
Kwame Brown gets pulled over for speeding "Michael Jordan is going to kill me"

Kwame Brown gets up to speed - 120 mph in new M-B
Associated Press
Dublin, Ga. -- Kwame Brown, the NBA's No. 1 overall draft pick in 2001 by the Washington Wizards from Brunswick, was arrested and charged with driving 120 mph in his new Mercedes on Interstate 16 in Laurens County. The player's immediate reaction: ''Michael Jordan is going to kill me.''
Brown, a 20-year-old who signed a three-year $11.9 million contract with the Wizards, was charged Saturday with speeding in a 60 mph construction zone.
Sgt. Kirk Hartwell of the Laurens County Sheriff's Department said Brown was racing a motorcycle, but pulled over without any trouble once he turned on the blue lights.
"He just kept saying 'Michael Jordan is going to kill me,"' Hartwell said. Jordan is a teammate and mentor of the Wizards rookie.
Hartwell said Brown will automatically lose his license because of his age and the excessive speed. Brown was taken to the sheriff's office where he paid a cash bond of $1,200.
The receipt for the 2002 Mercedes S-600 was still in the car when Brown was stopped, Hartwell said. The sale price was more than $129,000, he said.
MJ to Kwame "you flaming fakkit that's not a foul"/ "you reach and i'll knock you on you ass/ you better call me daddy
For a while in Wilmington, Jordan simultaneously played the roles of buddy, mentor and Professor Henry Higgins to Brown's Eliza Doolittle. He lectured Kwame on clothes and nutrition, took him to dinner and asked him if he felt like hanging out with him in the trainer's room. He wanted Brown to see the brilliance of the life that awaited him if he worked hard and succeeded. One day after practice, having noticed Kwame palming yet another basketball in solitary amusement, Jordan palmed two balls, extending his arms and shouting to Brown: "Hey, Kwame, you know what the difference is between you doing this and me doing this?" Brown looked stumped. Jordan laughed and yelled, "They pay me $35 million when I do it."
It was as if, in Brown, Jordan saw the possibility of a kinship with a future star so luminous as to be deserving of a bond with him. "When he got to camp, it was like Kwame already had the credentials in Michael's eyes to be a part of Michael's group," said a Wizards official who observed them daily. "So Michael let him in. For a while at least." Jordan's infatuation with his protégé waned. He thought Brown was cocky and disrespectful sometimes, particularly when the teenager nagged him about playing a one-on-one game, hinting that doom awaited him. Finally, Jordan agreed to the game, Brown grinning on the court, convinced his youth and height would be indefensible weapons against this shorter man twice his age. Early in the game, believing he had a lunging, jabbing Jordan off balance, the kid dared to say, "You reach, I'll teach."
Jordan snapped, "You teach, and I'll knock you on your damn ass."
Michael eventually turned from supporting the guy and having patience, to losing it:
He proceeded to humiliate Brown, mocking him while scoring at will, declining to help him up when the teenager fell hard to the floor, winning lopsidedly and, at the end, yelling at Brown to acknowledge his superiority in front of the team: "You better call me 'Daddy,' (expletive)."
"Michael was breaking him down," one observer recounted, "probably to build him up. But there was a lot of breaking down." Things deteriorated quickly thereafter. Brown didn't work hard enough for Jordan's taste, and it did not help that many in the Wizards organization, from officials to teammates, thought the kid showed no capacity for either accepting criticism or honoring an old basketball tenet that said rookies should play hard, accept bruises and complain about nothing.
And the best part of all:
With the criticism mounting and his play getting worse, Brown became maddeningly frustrated, a kid convinced he was being repeatedly fouled in intrasquad scrimmages by two veterans, Christian Laettner and Jahidi White, who weren't quick enough, Brown believed, to stay with him. He would drive toward the basket and feel himself being bumped by a hard hip, sometimes losing the ball, infuriated the referees wouldn't blow a whistle. "That was a foul," he finally groaned.
Play stopped. There was an electric silence. A wide-eyed Jordan was walking toward him.
"You (expletive) flaming (expletive)," Jordan exploded. "You don't get a foul call on a (expletive) little touch foul, you (expletive). You don't bring that (expletive) here. Get your (expletive) ass back on the floor and play. I don't want to hear that (expletive) out of you again. Get your ass back and play, you (expletive)."
A stupefied Brown could say nothing. He looked close to tears, thought a witness.
I hope there's a jumpshot in that box Stacey King

I remember reading one from The Jordan Rules. I'm paraphrasing, but Stacey King walked into the locker room holding a box with a big smile on his face. All Jordan said was "Hope there's a jumpshot in that box". Not so much a story, more an interesting anecdote.
Also, to build on the airport bags story. He used to also bet on the races that were on the scoreboard during timeouts (they're Dunkin Donuts races now). He always won because he would ask the engineers before the game who was going to win.
“You ever hear of a guy, six-eleven maybe and two hundred sixty pounds, a guy big and fat like that and he can’t get but two rebounds, if that many, running all over the damn court and he gets two rebounds? Big guy like that and he gets one rebound. Can’t even stick his **** into people and get more than that…Big, fat, fat guy. One rebound in three games. Power forward. Maybe they should call it powerless forward.” – Michael ripping Stacey King a new one
Just give the F**king ball

From the (awesome) Lazenby book. Page 358
Game 5 against Cleveland in the Playoffs of the 88-89 season.
Bulls are down 1, last possession. Doug collins calls time out. Everyone knows the ball is going to Michael. Collins, perhaps wisely, draws up a play to use MJ as a decoy and get the ball down in the post to a presumably open Dave Corzine. Jordan slaps the clipboard of the coach's hand and says "Just give me the fukking ball."
Jordan makes the shot, and the Bulls win the game.
MJ doesn't speak to the help

My friend is a bartender at an upscale bar in Charlotte. One of his first encounters with Jordan: He comes sit at the bar and my friend asks him what he would like to drink? MJ pretends he doesn't hear him, completely ignores the question, and points to his left - his agent? friend? So for the rest of the time, my friend had to take Jordans drink order through his personal assistant because he didn't want to interact with his own bartender.
Spits on cinnamon rolls so his guards won't touch them

Back when they used to shoot a lot of commercials, Jordan's security team would wait for him in his trailer while he was on set. A woman named Linda cooked Michael's meals, and he loved cinnamon rolls. She'd bake a tray and bring it to him. When it came time to film, he'd see the guards eyeing the cinnamon rolls and he'd walk over and spit on each one, to make sure nobody took his food.
Mj doesn't care about your sick kids

Michael Jordan, however, is another story. He is easily one of the biggest a$$holes I've met. My hospital (I'm a COO), was throwing a fundraiser golf event for children suffering from asthma and diabetes, and MJ was supposed to be a guest speaker. Everyone in the health care community, executives, providers, patients and their families were incredibly excited that he was coming. For weeks we planned MJ's arrival, when he'd fly in, where he'd stay, travel, any other requests, etc. The plan was he'd fly in two days before the event and we'd show him around the hospital and meet the children, then afterwards the C-suite executive team and some of our higher-positioned physicians would take him out for a round of golf then dinner. Everything was finalized.
Well, long story short, after frantically calling him and messaging him with no response and zero communication from his side, that didn't happen. He didn't arrive two days before the event. He arrived on the day of the event, early in the morning, and appeared very hungover and said he felt too "under the weather" to golf and meet the kids. He also left early so he didn't guest speak. To make it even worse, he was a complete and utter dikk about the entire thing. He complained and whined about the golf course, the car he was picked up in, the weather. He even seemed ticked off that he had to meet the children. Screw MJ.
Betting on cockroaches

Take this for what it's worth but I played golf with a member of the Birmingham Barons and he told me this story about Jordan.
There was a rain delay during one of their games and the players were all hanging out in the dugout waiting for the storm to pass. A few of the players noticed some cockroaches crawling around the dugout and watched them race around the players feet. Jordan sees the commotion and comes over to inspect what's going on. Being the degenerate gambler that he is, he wants to have a legitimate race with these little bugs. He tells the team he's gonna bet $500 on one of the cockroaches. Now remember, these guys are not well paid athletes, but they were able to scrounge up the money between the entire team. They pooled all the money together and got the cockroaches into place and ready to start. They lifted the barricade to let them loose and as soon as they do Jordan squashes the teams cockroach, picks up their $500 and walks away.
Trust me or don't, I don't really care - but this story is too Jordan to be fake.
Get on my level GP

When he met Gary Payton a night club in Seattle, GP went up to him and said "I'm getting my millions and buying Ferraris and Testarossas too"
And Jordan said "No problem, I get mine for free."
fukk you majerle
Before the 1989 draft, it bothered Jordan that Krause [the Bulls GM] had become infatuated with Majerle's potential, so he torched Thunder Dan in the '93 Finals and screamed "fukk you, Majerle!" as the Bulls celebrated right after Phoenix's final miss in Game 6. Did Majerle do anything to him? Of course not. Jordan just convinced himself that he did. That's how the man thought.
This guy should have a victims hotline or support group

 

[B.drizzle]

Nobody is safe

 

[DPG4Life]

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that dinner party.

The night an angry young heavyweight boxing champion by the name of Mike Tyson sat down to eat with basketball superstar Michael Jordan.

Tyson’s longtime friend and manager Rory Holloway recalls the dinner in his new book, “Taming the Beast: The Untold Story of Mike Tyson.”

He was present at the Chicago restaurant along with Tyson, Jordan, Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka, star defensive end Richard Dent and boxing promoter Don King.

It happened sometime after Tyson had divorced his first wife, actress Robin Givens, and he was taking the separation hard.

What made the situation explosive was that Jordan had dated Givens before she met Tyson.

“Mike Tyson’s sitting there with his drink of choice, a Long Island Tea, and when he drinks his real feelings come out …,” Holloway writes.

“I’m telling the server to water his drinks down ‘cause I see where this is going. Mike stares across the table at Michael Jordan. He says, ‘Hey man, you think I’m stupid? I know you fukked with my bytch.’


“Jordan looks like he just seen a ghost. ‘I know you messed with her,’ Mike says. ‘You can tell me.’

“Jordan, it’s obvious he just wants to get up and run. He wants no part of this. Mike turns to Ditka. ‘Man, you think somebody scared of you, all that racist s–t you been talking?’ He says to Dent, ‘Y’all scared of this damn white man, Richard? He ain’t nobody. You gonna let him talk that way?’

“It was a circus, for real, that night. Don King trying to change the subject. Me and John trying to hold Mike down. Mike telling everyone he’s going to bust Jordan’s ass. Jordan’s dressed sharp as always and he can’t get out of there fast enough.”

One of the other women from Tyson’s youth was British model Naomi Campbell.


The pair met at a Russell Simmons party and as Holloway tells it, hit it off immediately.

“I was there to keep Mike out of trouble, doing my usual babysitting job, and when I looked over, he was talking to this girl,” Holloway writes.

“I had to rub my eyes. I mean, the most exciting thing at that time was Naomi Campbell. She was wild and vivacious, with these legs that went on for days.

“I’m stuck holding their drinks ‘cause Mike says he gotta use the restroom. Next thing I know, Naomi’s following him in there. Holy s–t. Guests are walking up. ‘Bathroom’s taken,’ I’m telling them.

“Minutes go by and it’s getting uncomfortable. I finally crack open the door, ‘C’mon Mike.’ I see Naomi. She’s up on the toilet, heels and long legs spread, skirt hiked up, and Mike’s pumping away.”

Holloway’s book features dozens of stories like these.

He became friends with Tyson while Tyson was learning his craft under Cus D’Amato as a young teenager and was by his side until they fell out in the late 1990s.

Holloway was in the courtroom when Tyson was convicted of raping beauty pageant contestant Desiree Washington in 1992 and witnessed one of the bizarre strategies a desperate Tyson took to try to avoid prison time.

“Mike had got himself in a bad situation and he was grasping at straws. I don’t know where he found this voodoo guy … said he was a witch doctor. People paid him to make their problems go away … One day, the guy convinced Mike to go into the shower and pour a bucket of milk all over himself, like it supposed to cleanse him or something.

“Then he tells Mike to write down the names of all the prosecutors and lawyers on a piece of paper. While he’s staring at those guys in the courtroom, he supposed to eat the list and swallow it.

“You see Mike over in his chair, chewing on this damn wad like a madman, staring hard, like it gonna do something. This huckster took tens of thousands of dollars from Mike. Yeah, and look at how that turned out.”

“Taming the Beast: The Untold Story of Mike Tyson,” written by Rory Holloway and Eric Wilson, is available at tamingthebeast.com/eng/index.html.

 

[b. woods]

A thread? Let me get relaxed

In.

 

[KnickstapeCity]

 

[Da_Eggman]

"I remember a night when Wayne Gretzky insulted Michael Jordan at the table. It was a private salon game. Michael had ordered a drink from the cocktail waitress, and he gave her a five-dollar chip. Wayne took it off the cocktail waitress's tray, gave it back to Michael, grabbed a hundred-dollar chip from Michael's stack and put it on the cocktail waitress's tray. Then he said, 'That's how we tip in Las Vegas, Michael.'"

The great one gave no fukks

 

[$$$HotBoyRonald$$$]

And his nice guy image still fooled the world with this

 

[cheek100]

"Clyde is a better three point shooter than I choose to be"

 

[Brosef]

 

[Bledswole]

Savage on and off the court

 

[Mr Rager]

Bugs Bunny

Day one of filming, he got in Bugs's face and said "I am going to win the Oscar for this. You are nothing. You are here to try and keep up with me."
Bugs just waggled an eyebrow at the camera and said "Eh, he don't know me very well, do he?" Then he shook Jordan's hand, and returned to set. That's when Jordan realized he was holding dynamite.
After that, they were cool.

Wait...what

Caught Looking
He was using the bathroom and Michael Jordan walked in and used the urinal next to him. The guy was starstruck and ended up looking at Jordan's dikk for some reason, and said it was large enough that he looked at it for too long. Jordan noticed, smiled, zipped up, said "Gotta play to win" and walked out.

Wait...WHAT

 

[PremierDaTruth]

I'm actually glad he sonned Chamillionaire into oblivion like that though