18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Your a fukking idiot, talking out your ass just like an non reading bytch would.

Dawg, your Google hits are all a nikka needs to see to know your opinions are worthless. You epitomize scum

lemme ask you what you would do in this situation, hopefully I don't sound like too much of a simp lol

there is this girl that I have liked for a while, she's really attractive, we have a lot in common and we get on well, but I have tried to not get too friendly to avoid the 'friendzone' but I would still joke and flirt with her

she was going out with this guy for a few months who was cool, he became one of my boys but they recently broke up (it was a mutual decision). They are still cool with each other and hang from time to time, along with myself but I still really like her and I feel like I would trust her because I know her more than some other girls.

I've known her longer than the guy she was dating but now I'm cool with him (I didn't say anything to her before because I didn't know her that well before, I got to know her alot more since they were going out), would I be a bad friend if I told her that I like her? I don't wanna disrespect the guy but I feel like I have a lot more in common with her

sorry if i sound like a simp but up until now, relationships have been alot more straight forward for me

Hit her up but don't be afraid to dead the "friendship" if she's not interested. U sounding like this chick is the last woman u will ever pursue... its not that serious.

you're making a lot of assumptions bruh. obviously it's a general list that doesn't apply to EVERYONE but I'll be damned if it isn't accurate for a lot of people(myself included in some cases). the list is more of an honest critique on a good portion of our generation than the rantings of some bitter simp like you seem to think it is

not everything that gets posted on here has some anti-women agenda, shyt most of the stuff on this list applies to men just as much as it does to women. article is more about human nature than anything else

on another note, single people who hate on people in committed relationships are annoying, I agree. but people in committed relationships who have a holier than thou condescending attitude towards single people are equally annoying, especially when they try to front like they never had the same struggles or insecurities

I'm not saying you fall in that category(don't wanna contradict myself and make an assumption) but your posts in this thread have that tone...

Aren't you married and in your 30s? No offense, breh, but you're not really an authority on TODAY'S dating. As someone who is in his early 20s and still dating I can tell you this list is completely true

Im married and in my 30s and I'm not perfect. But youre acting like Im 50. By this logic, I can say yall don't know what you're talking about, as all you know is this era and thus really don't have a perspective on whether shyt has "changed". And I'd probably be right. Anyways I still have a lot of single friends and most of my friends in couples met through "modern" dating protocol. Best man and maid of honor at my wedding have been married for about as long as me and my wife and they met on eHarmony. I know a lot of couples who met through the internet.

@Drew Wonder you say I'm making assumptions. But this list is full of assumptions, and you made a few too. Dude in the OP and everyone cosigning him are only looking at one side of the game to rationalize their failures. Meanwhile, there are plenty of success stories in this modern dating era. So what I don't understand is why people are choosing to take "advice" from people who obviously haven't seen much success? Again how can you succeed at anything if all you do is focus on the potential for failure? How can you optimize your results at anything if you aren't willing to take any responsibility for the outcomes of your efforts? Bottom line dudes like this and people who cosign him are just on some misery loves company shyt. The dating game isn't perfect, but the fact that SOME people are succeeding means you have SOME control over what you get out of it. So why mope around with the dudes not making things happen instead of finding out the strategies of the dudes that are????

 

[MAKAVELI25]

Aren't you married and in your 30s? No offense, breh, but you're not really an authority on TODAY'S dating. As someone who is in his early 20s and still dating I can tell you this list is completely true

Im married and in my 30s and I'm not perfect.

 

[Matt504]

western society and culture, brehs.

 

[Huellz Santana]

OK then he is just a power simp. Dont know what a power simp is?



There are plenty of women eager to cooperate. Question dude should be asking is why he can't find them.... instead of blaming a couple of women not feeling him on "society".

Heres a gem of advice. Nobody ever accomplished anything by sitting around blaming other people for their own failures and feeling sorry for themselves.

did you read the article? nikka wasn't blaming anybody just speaking on the state of dating in general. He didn't even state "women do this" or "men do this"


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[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Ah the ignorance/hubris of youth. Again, how can someone in their early to mid 20s today say the problems in the article are "modern"? There's nothing on that list that wasn't around or in play 5, 10 years ago. Do u need a breakdown???

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested. This has ALWAYS been the case.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun. This has ALWAYS been the case.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two. This has ALWAYS been the case.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options. We had texts "back in my day" too. Plus there was shyt like AIM and BBM.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table. Yea, people only started to become flaky 2-3 years ago... nobody ever stood anyone up or flaked out of dates until recently

6. Someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it only seems fair, but sometimes people cheat and betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles. This has ALWAYS been the case.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all. This has ALWAYS been the case.

8. “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay. I was using the "hey u wanna come over and watch a movie" line before the towers fell.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not until after they score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory. O yea, nobody EVER told lies to get sex until recently.

10. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services. We had texts and phones back then too.

11. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. I’ve said it many times before, I’ll say it again – “we’re just talking” is opening the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because, hey, you weren’t together together. This nikka found out he wasnt the one the hard way. But yea, we used to "talk" in "my day" too.

12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to cheat. The private messaging and options for subtle flirtation (e.g. liking of pictures) aren’t an excuse or validation for cheating, but they certainly increase the chances of it happening. Social media doesn't cheat, people do. People were cheating before social media. There is no evidence that cheating has increased because of social media.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family. Social media is a constant reminder of all the girls who don't want this nikka. Social media is only what you make it.

14. You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced. Oh yea, everyone laid everything out on the table as soon as they met anybody back in my day

15. Any person you get romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point. These are equally terrifying concepts. This is about as "modern" as water being wet and bears shytting in the woods.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you. Yea before social media people were never vague about their feelings.

17. There are plenty of people who’ll have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you’re with, they’ll have no qualms with trying to overstep boundaries to get to ‘em. Girl code and guy code are wishful thinking and human code isn’t embedded in everyone. People NEVER cheated back in the day.

18. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate. Breaking up has never been easy and isn't much easier face to face.

did you read the article? nikka wasn't blaming anybody just speaking on the state of dating in general. He didn't even state "women do this" or "men do this"


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His whole tone is on some "woe is me" shyt. His negative view of "modern" dating is borne out of his experiences which seems to revolve around rejection and failure, and the projection of that failure back onto society.

 

[Drew Wonder]

@Drew Wonder you say I'm making assumptions. But this list is full of assumptions, and you made a few too. Dude in the OP and everyone cosigning him are only looking at one side of the game to rationalize their failures. Meanwhile, there are plenty of success stories in this modern dating era. So what I don't understand is why people are choosing to take "advice" from people who obviously haven't seen much success? Again how can you succeed at anything if all you do is focus on the potential for failure? How can you optimize your results at anything if you aren't willing to take any responsibility for the outcomes of your efforts? Bottom line dudes like this and people who cosign him are just on some misery loves company shyt. The dating game isn't perfect, but the fact that SOME people are succeeding means you have SOME control over what you get out of it. So why mope around with the dudes not making things happen instead of finding out the strategies of the dudes that are????

he's not rationalizing anything bruh. he's speaking on a reality for many people in the dating game, that's it. you're saying he's not taking responsibility for anything but in a way he is. if anything, him stating the cold hard truth so bluntly and directly will make some people who were in denial actually recognize that they themselves are guilty of many of the things he listed(myself included). and if anything, that's more effective as far as getting people to recognize their faults and change their ways as opposed to him having a holier than thou attitude and listing a bunch of rules people should follow.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

he's not rationalizing anything bruh. he's speaking on a reality for many people in the dating game, that's it. you're saying he's not taking responsibility for anything but in a way he is. if anything, him stating the cold hard truth so bluntly and directly will make some people who were in denial actually recognize that they themselves are guilty of many of the things he listed(myself included). and if anything, that's more effective as far as getting people to recognize their faults and change their ways as opposed to him having a holier than thou attitude and listing a bunch of rules people should follow.

What's the difference between a "rule" and a "truth"? Either way it's something he wants people to believe/follow. Not to mention he brings absolutely no empirical or objective evidence to support anything. The list should have been called "Some dude's 18 opinions on dating". Truth is objective and there's nothing objective about this article.

And a lot of these things are either his own opinions/misconceptions (1, 2, 3 for starters) or are things that are not at all unique to "modern" dating (11, 14, 15).

The details are irrelevant though. The theme of this list is that everyone who is involved in modern dating is some kind of victim, and finding happniess in dating is impossible. There's nothing in this list that speaks to all the successes people are having. How is this going to help anybody?

 

[Drew Wonder]

Ah the ignorance/hubris of youth. Again, how can someone in their early to mid 20s today say the problems in the article are "modern"? There's nothing on that list that wasn't around or in play 5, 10 years ago. Do u need a breakdown???

so is racism not a modern problem just because it's always been around? he's speaking on problems that have always existed but in a modern context. it's also funny that even though you're clowning the list, you're also indirectly agreeing with everything on there

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

1 and 7



when you don't have feelings
it seems like the chick likes you even more

and when you dont like the broad
the romantic shyt she does seems weird as fukk
if I barely liked her it would be cute but, since I dont...

 

[Drew Wonder]

What's the difference between a "rule" and a "truth"? Either way it's something he wants people to believe/follow. Not to mention he brings absolutely no empirical or objective evidence to support anything. The list should have been called "Some dude's 18 opinions on dating". Truth is objective and there's nothing objective about this article.

And a lot of these things are either his own opinions/misconceptions (1, 2, 3 for starters) or are things that are not at all unique to "modern" dating (11, 14, 15).

The details are irrelevant though. The theme of this list is that everyone who is involved in modern dating is some kind of victim, and finding happniess in dating is impossible. There's nothing in this list that speaks to all the successes people are having. How is this going to help anybody?

you're all over the place. you're saying the list is inaccurate and there's no evidence to support what he's saying yet you're also agreeing with him by saying the problems have always existed.

the theme of the list is however you interpret it. never did he say finding happiness is impossible, that's just the impression you got from the list. one could also easily get the impression that he's saying "these are the problems, if you recognize these in yourself, you gotta do better"

as for your last point, my boss at my job said it best. when it comes to improvement, knowing what your flaws are rather than being reminded of what you already know you're good at is much more effective

 

[MikelArteta]

My thoughts
I think for both genders dating is messed up somewhat.
Back in the day the girl who was out clubbing every weekend or the homebody who would you choose?
Now that homebody is on tinder hooking up with guys in a 1 mile radius , and inviting them over for netflix
People don't want to work through issues anymore its easier to just start over with someone new, get in that honeymoon stage where
everything is great and peachy.
The average single girl of today is on pof, okcupid, match, tinder, getting hit on at the mall, the club with sob stories from her past.
The average male of today isn't just handing over his commitment and can you blame him?
I think for both genders its just so easy to find someone new, your in a relationship for a while it's like a car that needs fixing that's out of warranty, you can try and work on it.
Or you can just wash your hands and go get a new car.
Also all the games, tests and manipulation tactics are a joke. I don't blame people who just want to casually date, no commitment. Because sadly it seems with people nowadays as soon as you fall for them or vice versa or as time goes on it gets so stale.

 

[Drew Wonder]

My thoughts
I think for both genders dating is messed up somewhat.
Back in the day the girl who was out clubbing every weekend or the homebody who would you choose?
Now that homebody is on tinder hooking up with guys in a 1 mile radius , and inviting them over for netflix
People don't want to work through issues anymore its easier to just start over with someone new, get in that honeymoon stage where
everything is great and peachy.
The average single girl of today is on pof, okcupid, match, tinder, getting hit on at the mall, the club with sob stories from her past.
The average male of today isn't just handing over his commitment and can you blame him?
I think for both genders its just so easy to find someone new, your in a relationship for a while it's like a car that needs fixing that's out of warranty, you can try and work on it.
Or you can just wash your hands and go get a new car.
Also all the games, tests and manipulation tactics are a joke. I don't blame people who just want to casually date, no commitment. Because sadly it seems with people nowadays as soon as you fall for them or vice versa or as time goes on it gets so stale.

a surprisingly balanced response from you. dapped

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

you're all over the place. you're saying the list is inaccurate and there's no evidence to support what he's saying yet you're also agreeing with him by saying the problems have always existed.

I didnt say the list was inaccurate... just that if you are going to say something is a "truth" then bring something to back it up. In my experience a lot of the shyt on that list was true back in the day too, but thats just my anecdotal experience. And I only broke the list down to show that the stuff dude was talking about isn't unique to "modern" dating.

the theme of the list is however you interpret it. never did he say finding happiness is impossible, that's just the impression you got from the list. one could also easily get the impression that he's saying "these are the problems, if you recognize these in yourself, you gotta do better"

as for your last point, my boss at my job said it best. when it comes to improvement, knowing what your flaws are rather than being reminded of what you already know you're good at is much more effective

Your interpretation is way shakier than mine. The title is '18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With'... not '18 Ways You Might Be fukking Up In The Dating Game'

Literally every "truth" is written as an outside condition/obstacle/hurdle one has to get past rather than an internal problem one has to recognize and work on

If you are introspective enough to take it as a jumping point for self reflection good for you. But most people are going to see this as an opportunity to project their failures onto others and not change. And it's not unreasonable to think the negative self-victimizing tone taken by the author is a result of his dating failures. After all if someone were having generally positive experiences with dating why would they write such a miserable negative piece?

 

[Momentum]

And not a word on race or colorism... must be nice to be one of the ethnicities that don't have those stigmas in dating

 

[Arabial Knight]

Number 7 reveals this cac to be a seldomlaid. Cry because bytches think you're an ugly ass creep, brehs.