$200k+ with a fake resume [resume in OP]

[Bucciarati Joestar]

I work in a top silicon valley adtech company and I interact with Tableau daily,not to mention we hire some of the smartest data scientists, engineers from top universities, from google, from facebook, etc, and I still find what you do to be extremely hard to believe. I'm not a hater, I wish people to do the best, I've helped placed people in companies, but I don't want people to think they can completely make shyt up and get a high paying jobs, without at least getting caught.

I can literally talk tableau, data visualization, salesforce, crm, cognos, datarama, APIs, all day long and I have a very very hard time believing that tableau is a 200k skill, it's more of a 50k skill that any junior analyst should have.
Also, media mix modeling cannot be done with tableau, that's baby stuff. Tableau cannot handle something as complex as MMM. I literally done this myself for a major agency 3 years ago with an entire team of data scientists with PHDs and even the PHDs did not earn 200K. I guess things changed, more power to you.

Where did you learn how to use tableau, datarama and cognos? Was it on the job? Im going to try to learn these tools after my exam. It seems to be very important.

 

[RAX 010]

Salute to you OP
Im studying business and marketing post military what should I aim for in this business?
Can i take a look at that resume too by the way? mines needs a lil tweaking

 

[Lesfilles]

you guys are STILL missing the point...


you do not lie and finesse your way from broke bum nikka to 6 figures in a day... a year... 5 years

you finesse ONE TIME... the very first job. this doesn't need to be a big role or a big company... as long as it's in the field. i don't know what y'all do but lets say it's IT

you don't start off trying to work at microsoft... you lie about your role on the coli... lie about it's numbers.. lie about what you did to create it... then give a google voice number to your homie, who is "the owner of the coli"

whatever they ask for, it can be made... make up the degree or not... you still have 5 years experience as "lead program director of the largest hip hop forum in the entire world..."


this might get you entry level to some start up tech company to be some help desk guy... after a year or 3 working there.. boom.. you now have 3 years of REAL EXPERIENCE... your next resume CAN have the coli on there, but really doesn't need it. cause you have the real shyt now.


now flip, flip, flip, flip, flip that job.... 10 years down the line, you have 10 years experience, 10 years worth of worthy titles, 10 years worth of references, and the coli isn't anywhere on your resume anymore.


but you gotta be working on that hustle the whole time. you can't show up and do your work and leave. you gotta play all star. just imagine will smith in that happyness movie. except he lied to get in the program.. then busted his ass through life and became a millionaire.. but technically, he never had the right schooling or experience to be up in there... he just finessed his way in

now imagine if the finesse was a lie... that kid wasn't even his... he just used him to get in the door to lay down the finesse... doesn't change everything he earned after that. it was still real experience... but if he didn't finesse.. he'd have had to go to college or some shyt

well some people are too old to be starting a 4 year program... so breh is saying finesse your way into that job and you can work your ass off to come up off i

I said I understand and props to him, I'm saying I don't think it will work in my industry because it's too niche. In my industry, where you're going to need to have published articles in reputable journals, foreign language fluency and likely a PhD behind your name to get paid that much, there is no way to finesse. You can't even get an entry level job w/o an MA and some research experience and there is hardly anyway to fake that. People are going to want to talk to your PI or PD for references and see what kind of work you did at your last position. If they don't recognize the name...they'll do the background work...I work on the edge of academia/think-tank/private sector, it's a global but small network - trust me when I say it's niche and it's hard to finesse or else many people would've tried because it's got a lot of perks - the positions that pay that much often go through governmental approval and the government will run a full background check.

I'm saying if you claim you worked for a made up Think Tank or something that no-ones ever heard of or under a researcher that no-ones ever heard of, even getting that first entry level spot is going to be hard. People are going to be on high alert especially as most positions are networked/choreographed. You'd literally have to write down a real persons name and just hope that no one has worked with them when you claimed to have work with them or the person you're interviewing with doesn't know them and that HR never calls. It's also a pretty elitist industry, and unfortunately, a lot of managers/directors/VPs only want people from certain schools working for them because it looks better and we can charge more money.

I'm not saying it's not possible to do what he's done...I'm saying I don't think it's possible in my industry- which is small; so no huge loss to anyone who wants to attempt this because in any other industry, it can be done for sure.

I remember my first interview as an analyst/researcher - language skills tested in an on the spot oral interview, statistics test given, .dat test and general field knowledge questions asked during the interview, you would've been better off just having the internship/fellowship experience rather than making it up.....that's all I'm saying. I'm not downing him or being negative, just saying in my field, which is pretty niche at the onset, it would be an incredible feat to pull off. Let alone for a black person. Imagine, your first assignment is presenting something to a national governing body and just trying to finesse it...I think there is just too much at stake for the organization to not do their due diligence.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

Salesforce knowledge will get you into alot of doors, very fast.

So many Help Desk manhours dedicated to helping these fools out with it.

Some companies have straight up Training teams

@Robert California

 

[Huellz Santana]

My favorite topic. Finessing the absolute fukk out of these cacs. Great thread.

Interviewing is just a god damn performance. It's not real, it's not true. It's all about how can I sell these cacs on a bullshyt ass lie for 30 mins.

This x100000!!!!

I love interviewing. I play that shyt like an actor getting ready for the performance of a lifetime. it amazes me how some people can't grasp that.

tell these cacs what they want to hear. I learned that lesson after I got turned down for a job at Best Buy at 17 after they asked me if I would report my pops if he came to my register and stole a candy bar. I told them no and they were like "We don't think you're the right candidate for this job."

after that I hit my homeboy up like, "WTF is up with your company?" and he was like "OH, you're supposed to lie on that part. "

ever since then I been finessing the game. ​

 

[dterpsss]

This is such a terrible thread, mods need to move this to JBO

 

[Huellz Santana]

I said I understand and props to him, I'm saying I don't think it will work in my industry because it's too niche. In my industry, where you're going to need to have published articles in reputable journals, foreign language fluency and likely a PhD behind your name to get paid that much, there is no way to finesse. You can't even get an entry level job w/o an MA and some research experience and there is hardly anyway to fake that. People are going to want to talk to your PI or PD for references and see what kind of work you did at your last position. If they don't recognize the name...they'll do the background work...I work on the edge of academia/think-tank/private sector, it's a global but small network - trust me when I say it's niche and it's hard to finesse or else many people would've tried because it's got a lot of perks - the positions that pay that much often go through governmental approval and the government will run a full background check.

I'm saying if you claim you worked for a made up Think Tank or something that no-ones ever heard of or under a researcher that no-ones ever heard of, even getting that first entry level spot is going to be hard. People are going to be on high alert especially as most positions are networked/choreographed. You'd literally have to write down a real persons name and just hope that no one has worked with them when you claimed to have work with them or the person you're interviewing with doesn't know them and that HR never calls. It's also a pretty elitist industry, and unfortunately, a lot of managers/directors/VPs only want people from certain schools working for them because it looks better and we can charge more money.

I'm not saying it's not possible to do what he's done...I'm saying I don't think it's possible in my industry- which is small; so no huge loss to anyone who wants to attempt this because in any other industry, it can be done for sure.

I remember my first interview as an analyst/researcher - language skills tested in an on the spot oral interview, statistics test given, .dat test and general field knowledge questions asked during the interview, you would've been better off just having the internship/fellowship experience rather than making it up.....that's all I'm saying. I'm not downing him or being negative, just saying in my field, which is pretty niche at the onset, it would be an incredible feat to pull off. Let alone for a black person. Imagine, your first assignment is presenting something to a national governing body and just trying to finesse it...I think there is just too much at stake for the organization to not do their due diligence.

see this is where people gotta use their own intelligence. you can't finesse your way into EVERYTHING. And honestly, you should have some sort of baseline before pursuing certain endeavors (why would you want to go for something you can't reasonably do well?) finessing into anything that's highly technical or requires a lot of in-depth knowledge is an L waiting to happen.​

 

[Bucciarati Joestar]

This x100000!!!!

I love interviewing. I play that shyt like an actor getting ready for the performance of a lifetime. it amazes me how some people can't grasp that.

tell these cacs what they want to hear. I learned that lesson after I got turned down for a job at Best Buy at 17 after they asked me if I would report my pops if he came to my register and stole a candy bar. I told them no and they were like "We don't think you're the right candidate for this job."

after that I hit my homeboy up like, "WTF is up with your company?" and he was like "OH, you're supposed to lie on that part. "

ever since then I been finessing the game. ​

I need to find my inner actress. Cuz I get so anxious and nervous during an interview. I need to learn how to tell a bold face lie and look them right in the eye. Esp, when they ask questions like "what are your weaknesses" I be stumped.

 

[Huellz Santana]

I need to find my inner actress. Cuz I get so anxious and nervous during an interview. I need to learn how to tell a bold face lie and look them right in the eye. Esp, when they ask questions like "what are your weaknesses" I be stumped.

find a friend who can give you good feedback and practice, practice, PRACTICE. some people are born with it but it's not something that can't be learned.

FYI... your biggest weakness should be a pivot of your greatest strength. for example, if your strength is that you're really good at collaborating and working with all types of people and building consensus then your weakness answer would be "Because of this, I believe my biggest weakness is that sometimes I can be TOO compromising, putting my needs below the needs of everyone else" or something like that.

it's BS but it sounds good.
the funny thing about all of this "finessing" is that it's actually pretty sound career advice.​

 

[DirtyMoney]

I do advertising, cpa/shopify with adwords and facebook and i know 50% whats on your resume. Might have to start finessing my way into a desk job

Ayeeee cpa is

 

[XannyWarbucks]

from twitler

Nothing to worry about. Trumpito is the biggest finesser in the history of the United States. Do you really think the same guy who is trying to hide his history from the FBI and currently under investigation really wants stringent background checks?

 

[Apollo Creed]

Where did you learn how to use tableau, datarama and cognos? Was it on the job? Im going to try to learn these tools after my exam. It seems to be very important.

Tableau is elementary youd be better off learning SQL and understanding relational databases first.

 

[Lesfilles]

see this is where people gotta use their own intelligence. you can't finesse your way into EVERYTHING. And honestly, you should have some sort of baseline before pursuing certain endeavors (why would you want to go for something you can't reasonably do well?) finessing into anything that's highly technical or requires a lot of in-depth knowledge is an L waiting to happen.​

Yeah, exactly. But it was presented like you can do this with everything and I'm just putting out a word of caution for those in some highly technically/specialized industries, it's not really plausible. I mean you can try, but it'd be a lot of effort and I don't think it's worth it. Your fake references would need to be able to get technical and speak to technical things you've done...

But to the bold, people will try because why not? There might be some prestige attached, monetary gain, there are a lot of reasons to try and see if you can 'get your foot in the door'..I mean, look at the Elizabeth Swaney chick from the Olympics...finessed her way into the Olympics by gaming the system and finding the loopholes. She got onto the Olympic stage in Free-style skiing and looked a right fool- she can barely even ski well, but she wanted to say she was an Olympian and that's all that mattered to her. For some people, they just want to say "I'm this or that"

 

[360Waves]

OP is lying to all of you lmfao. Ain’t no 200k bih

 

[Robert California]

Salesforce knowledge will get you into alot of doors, very fast.

So many Help Desk manhours dedicated to helping these fools out with it.

Some companies have straight up Training teams

This

Salesforce is lucrative.

They have a great sales team and their product is always adding new features and expanding into different product areas.

These companies invest in the tool, then realize they have no one in house who understands how to implement it or manage it going forward.

Creates plenty of job opportunities