Some people’s “types” have more to do with racial fantasies.
5 Signs You’re About to Be Racially Fetishized
1. The Celebrity “Double”
“You’re really hot. You remind me of ... [insert random celeb I bear little or no resemblance to—outside of race—here]”
Clearly, this is meant to be complimentary, but it’s suspect. First, it implies a very limited scope of “acceptable” black beauty. Basically, it’s the romantic equivalent of the “paper bag” test.
Second, if the scope of beauty is that specific, it begs a question of exposure: Exactly how many black people has this person encountered—let alone found attractive?
2. The Same-Girl Game
They’re open about having a type (fair enough), but a roundup of their exes resembles a lookalike contest—on paper and off.
Case in point: a dude who, upon learning of my modeling career, casually prattled off the names of several other models he’d dated.
Fun fact: Not only were we all the same physical type, but we also worked with the same agency. Apparently he liked one-stop shopping—and his women interchangeable?
Way to take a “type” to the extreme ... right into fetishism.
3. The Bonding Fail
It’s that awkward moment when an attempt at bonding becomes fetishistic, usually through unsolicited but enthusiastic declarations of interest in “urban culture”—which, of course, I share because I’m ... “urban”?
“Don’t you love that new Kanye?”
Umm ... no. But of course I’m up on the latest hip hop/R&B/reggae/trap music/line dance/episode ofLove & Hip Hop: Whatever: I’m black!
4. The First-Timer
“You know, I’ve never been attracted to black men/women before, but ... ”
Well, please don’t make an exception on my account, because I’m not attracted to anyone who has previously disqualified an entire race from consideration.
In an atmosphere that’s often overwhelmingly white (*cough* online dating), making me a concession isn’t complimentary. So, no, your interest does not make me feel special. And no, I’m not interested in confirming or dispelling myths about “my people.”
Please. Take your race-curious ass on somewhere.
5. The “Down-for-the-Cause” Fetish
“You marched with BLM—and your parents were Freedom Riders? Great. Oh, you minored in African-American studies? Cool! You’re rereading Between the World and Me? Awesome!”
We just met, and already I’m exhausted, because the idea of becoming an accessory in someone else’s activism sounds like a full-time job: fetish enabler.
5 Signs You’re About to Be Racially Fetishized
1. The Celebrity “Double”
“You’re really hot. You remind me of ... [insert random celeb I bear little or no resemblance to—outside of race—here]”
Clearly, this is meant to be complimentary, but it’s suspect. First, it implies a very limited scope of “acceptable” black beauty. Basically, it’s the romantic equivalent of the “paper bag” test.
Second, if the scope of beauty is that specific, it begs a question of exposure: Exactly how many black people has this person encountered—let alone found attractive?
2. The Same-Girl Game
They’re open about having a type (fair enough), but a roundup of their exes resembles a lookalike contest—on paper and off.
Case in point: a dude who, upon learning of my modeling career, casually prattled off the names of several other models he’d dated.
Fun fact: Not only were we all the same physical type, but we also worked with the same agency. Apparently he liked one-stop shopping—and his women interchangeable?
Way to take a “type” to the extreme ... right into fetishism.
3. The Bonding Fail
It’s that awkward moment when an attempt at bonding becomes fetishistic, usually through unsolicited but enthusiastic declarations of interest in “urban culture”—which, of course, I share because I’m ... “urban”?
“Don’t you love that new Kanye?”
Umm ... no. But of course I’m up on the latest hip hop/R&B/reggae/trap music/line dance/episode ofLove & Hip Hop: Whatever: I’m black!
4. The First-Timer
“You know, I’ve never been attracted to black men/women before, but ... ”
Well, please don’t make an exception on my account, because I’m not attracted to anyone who has previously disqualified an entire race from consideration.
In an atmosphere that’s often overwhelmingly white (*cough* online dating), making me a concession isn’t complimentary. So, no, your interest does not make me feel special. And no, I’m not interested in confirming or dispelling myths about “my people.”
Please. Take your race-curious ass on somewhere.
5. The “Down-for-the-Cause” Fetish
“You marched with BLM—and your parents were Freedom Riders? Great. Oh, you minored in African-American studies? Cool! You’re rereading Between the World and Me? Awesome!”
We just met, and already I’m exhausted, because the idea of becoming an accessory in someone else’s activism sounds like a full-time job: fetish enabler.
. I started avoiding that chick cuz that shyt started getting me tight. Few weeks later I seen her with some other breh, dude looked hype as fukk to be with her. Be a personal dildo for White Women, brehs...
is this shyt?