A. Seales:I want to be with a brotha but a lot of you would rather be by yourselves. Why not commit?

[CarmelBarbie]

You state this as if black women don't also divorce black men. Some studies put the divorce rate between black men and black women at 70 percent.

But the fact is people found it suitable to marry these men. While with BW it's less so. I personally believe more black men want to be married (or at least try harder) than black women.

I edited my post. But if I remember correctly the divorce rate between bm and ww is higher than the divorce rate between bm and bw. And if you really want to use those stats to support your argument, I could point to the fact that in both cases of high divorce rates (amongst bw and bw as well as bm with ww) the common denominator is BM. Bw and ww are initiating the divorces after being married. So by that metric what conclusion would you draw then?

Because on the flip side, though a much smaller number, bw with wm marriages don’t have high divorce rates. So as I said before, bm might be getting married more, but If these marriages aren’t lasting, then what of it? Unless you don’t think divorce is a big deal, i’d argue that the high divorce rate means that perhaps some of these men aren’t as ready for the women they married, like they thought they were.

Now I don’t cape for IR marriages, I know you do. But if anything it’s the fact that they rarely work out, and often go much worse than marrying a bw, that sort of has me giving the side eye to any breh that seriously believes that marriage to a ww is better. Stats don’t support it. And a lot of bw don’t like Wm, enough to want to marry them let alone date them seriously and vice versus,though that seems to be changing some, it is what it is.

What makes you say more bm try harder to get married than bw?

 

[southern.girl]

I don't even argue with chicks like that

Let the white boys have them

And I'll be 37 soon

Pretty sure I'll be single for life
Not because women ain't shyt, mainly because I ain't
See how easy that was Amanda?

I appreciate the honesty.

I think the point is that women like her have ridiculous preferences for a mate. The Asian girl got with an ordinary black guy, while Molly was out there chasing the 6 cert, 6ft + type of guy.
I'm willing to bet that Amanda is in the same boat.

I don't think that this was the case on the show. The black guy was a professional, white collar type dude who proposed to a lawyer in less than a year. Molly has her issues but what that guy was, was what she was looking for.

Transitioning into my 30's I've realized that most women I've dealt with show why you shouldn't commit to them rather than why you should. And this isn't just black women either this includes some white & Hispanic women I've dealt with.
We ain't even together and you're causing me all types of frustration & annoyance. Now why would i want to make the jump to commitment and find out how you treat your boyfriend's if this is how you treat somebody you're dating?

The last woman I took serious made it a mission to make my life easier. She made a concious effort to do things that I didn't have to ask and went above and beyond that had me like, "damn women Ive committed to never treated me like this before..." I immediately wanted to lock her down no question.
Because I couldn't stand the idea of that woman being with another man and treating him the way she treated me.

Did you marry this woman?

Even the bible tells men that it's better to be single and alone than to be with an aint shyt woman. The issue is that about 95% of the women today aint shyt.

Proverbs 25:24
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

The truth is that women need to look at themselves in the mirror and do some soul searching to figure out why these men aint commiting to them.
Also too, I'm tired of women shaming me because I'm living life on my terms by not choosing to wife up none of these thots. I'm just living righteous by the lord.

I agree with the Proverbs verse, but the bible also says if you can't control your sexual appetite, it is better for you to marry than live in sexual immorality. 1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

[southern.girl]

I dunno. I've never had a child before and every woman is different.
But...
BUT...

She a stay at home wife. I've been hearing too many stories like this lately. My mom was a stay at home wife and she loved it.

See comment #364. She's not a wife. She's been a girlfriend for 14 whole years.

 

[⠝⠕⠏⠑]

See comment #364. She's not a wife. She's been a girlfriend for 14 whole years.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Geez this explains it all. Home girl resentful as fukk. She just put to get whatever she can b/c she feels he takes her for granted b/c he hasn't acknowledged her as his wife.

Yeah that's rough.

 

[NotaPAWG]

nah, men just won’t commit to YOU.

the problem with most women and people in general when it comes to dating is they have all these standards yet will sacrifice nothing, meaning ugly things of the spirit to maintain or build a good relationship. women want men to take them as they are.. they look over the GOOD men who would commit to them for the ain’t shyt dudes because they have preconceived notions of what a “good guy” is

Someone who truly cares about you will encourage and enable spiritual growth, not self destruction. “Good guys” aren’t always going to tell you what you want to hear. Hearing the truth about yourself is an act of love.
“Good guys” aren’t just the men that buy you flowers, send you cute texts.. they are the men that will put their foot down and tell you “hey, i don’t know who you’re talking to right now but fix your tone, get out of your feelings and control your tongue”..

but most women don’t want that, they want someone to encourage their spiritual ugliness. not growth. they want the feeling of what they think love is, not the ACT of it.

 

[Youseenmywork]

Ha, ha, you're a single mother.


Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I know no good man wants you. Sucks?

Unnecessary

 

[Eddy Gordo]

I edited my post. But if I remember correctly the divorce rate between bm and ww is higher than the divorce rate between bm and bw. And if you really want to use those stats to support your argument, I could point to the fact that in both cases of high divorce rates (amongst bw and bw as well as bm with ww) the common denominator is BM. Bw and ww are initiating the divorces after being married. So by that metric what conclusion would you draw then?
That black men have trouble making relationships work long term.
Because on the flip side, though a much smaller number, bw with wm marriages don’t have high divorce rates. So as I said before, bm might be getting married more, but If these marriages aren’t lasting, then what of it? Unless you don’t think divorce is a big deal, i’d argue that the high divorce rate means that perhaps some of these men aren’t as ready for the women they married, like they thought they were.
That's probably true.

Now I don’t cape for IR marriages, I know you do. But if anything it’s the fact that they rarely work out, and often go much worse than marrying a bw, that sort of has me giving the side eye to any breh that seriously believes that marriage to a ww is better. Stats don’t support it. And a lot of bw don’t like Wm, enough to want to marry them let alone date them seriously and vice versus,though that seems to be changing some, it is what it is.
I didn't say IR was better. I said that more black men are married.
What makes you say more bm try harder to get married than bw?*Gets on soapbox* Black men actively compete for women. It doesn't matter what kinda of image they portray, the vast majority of men compete for women. Dudes get in shape, get money up, get cars, vacations, degrees, and whatever other bullshyt to impress thier own ego and women. Because that's what women say they want and they want possess a woman. Dudes will put in however much or little effort they can get away with. It's the reason single rich dudes have a bunch of flashy shyt. But a lot of married rich dudes can be seen in t-shirts driving civics.Thirst is the most powerful force on Earth.(The IR thing another topic all together)

Black women don't compete for men to the same extent in my experience. There is this mindset in black american women that they entitled to a man. That they all good of gp. Yeah they thirst certain dudes they find attractive but rarely use that thirst to make themselves more appealing if it ain't some basic shyt. There isn't a lot of I'm losing weight to get a man. Learning how to cook to get a man. Developing a better personality to get a man. It's a whole lot off "why won't jeseus send me a good man"

Black women are so anti-competitive they will sabotage thier own demographic in the love game for women they are competing against.

 

[Red Comp]

Unnecessary

wtf dont belechick me

 

[KENNY DA COOKER]

BYATCH its simple...STOP PURSUING or DESIRING COMMITMENT from GUYS who clearly AIN'T ABOUT THAT LIFE

she full of shyt....UP HERE BLAMING MEN..when it's clearly her

its no different than a GUY pursing BEAUTIFUL SINGLE WOMEN who ain't trying to BE LOCKED DOWN

all u do is FRUSTRATE YOURSELF...

and thats what SHE IS DOING

cause in reality the GUYS WHO WANT TO COMMIT TO HER she IS NOT ATTRACTED TO

she LIKES THE GUYS who has OPTIONS.......cause it's a CHALLENGE to try to TAME OR CONTROL him

and when they do get him THEY GET BORED


I went thru this with my ex...

this is our second time back together and it's MUCH BETTER

cause when i was in SIMP CITY all commited to wanting to be married and all that shyt

seems like she got BORED and was basically PLAYING MY AZZ

So i bounced....

and now that we back together...and i got my own spot......i let her know all the time..

I GOT OPTIONS BYATCH

i have not hesitated to let her know that...3 weeks ago i kicked her out of my place and talked to her for weeks.....

got back with her ...things going good we fukking and enjoying life

then she got JAZZY WITH HER MOUTH again...so i ignored that hoe...

at her worst moment...she got stressed and passed out at work....

i just contacted her a day ago after not talking to her.....

yeah she was mad for a minute..but she coming over so we can spend the whole valentines weekend together fukking and everything..

note to you all..THEY PLAY CRAZY..YOU PLAY CRAZY...

ACT LIKE YOU DONT GIVE A FUKK..AND IT WILL ALWAYS KEEP THEM INTRIGED

UNPREDICTABLE ....SPONTANEOUS ALWAYS WIN

BEING PREDICTABLE IS BORING TO THEM...

 

[Youseenmywork]

I edited my post. But if I remember correctly the divorce rate between bm and ww is higher than the divorce rate between bm and bw. And if you really want to use those stats to support your argument, I could point to the fact that in both cases of high divorce rates (amongst bw and bw as well as bm with ww) the common denominator is BM. Bw and ww are initiating the divorces after being married. So by that metric what conclusion would you draw then?

Because on the flip side, though a much smaller number, bw with wm marriages don’t have high divorce rates. So as I said before, bm might be getting married more, but If these marriages aren’t lasting, then what of it? Unless you don’t think divorce is a big deal, i’d argue that the high divorce rate means that perhaps some of these men aren’t as ready for the women they married, like they thought they were.

Now I don’t cape for IR marriages, I know you do. But if anything it’s the fact that they rarely work out, and often go much worse than marrying a bw, that sort of has me giving the side eye to any breh that seriously believes that marriage to a ww is better. Stats don’t support it. And a lot of bw don’t like Wm, enough to want to marry them let alone date them seriously and vice versus,though that seems to be changing some, it is what it is.

What makes you say more bm try harder to get married than bw?

I can say soo much about the black men try harder to get married and I will but not tonight. I can say it has a lot to do with being raised around women.

BUMP

 

[Youseenmywork]

BYATCH its simple...STOP PURSUING or DESIRING COMMITMENT from GUYS who clearly AIN'T ABOUT THAT LIFE

she full of shyt....UP HERE BLAMING MEN..when it's clearly her

its no different than a GUY pursing BEAUTIFUL SINGLE WOMEN who ain't trying to BE LOCKED DOWN

all u do is FRUSTRATE YOURSELF...

and thats what SHE IS DOING

cause in reality the GUYS WHO WANT TO COMMIT TO HER she IS NOT ATTRACTED TO

she LIKES THE GUYS who has OPTIONS.......cause it's a CHALLENGE to try to TAME OR CONTROL him

and when they do get him THEY GET BORED


I went thru this with my ex...

this is our second time back together and it's MUCH BETTER

cause when i was in SIMP CITY all commited to wanting to be married and all that shyt

seems like she got BORED and was basically PLAYING MY AZZ

So i bounced....

and now that we back together...and i got my own spot......i let her know all the time..

I GOT OPTIONS BYATCH

i have not hesitated to let her know that...3 weeks ago i kicked her out of my place and talked to her for weeks.....

got back with her ...things going good we fukking and enjoying life

then she got JAZZY WITH HER MOUTH again...so i ignored that hoe...

at her worst moment...she got stressed and passed out at work....

i just contacted her a day ago after not talking to her.....

yeah she was mad for a minute..but she coming over so we can spend the whole valentines weekend together fukking and everything..

note to you all..THEY PLAY CRAZY..YOU PLAY CRAZY...

ACT LIKE YOU DONT GIVE A FUKK..AND IT WILL ALWAYS KEEP THEM INTRIGED

UNPREDICTABLE ....SPONTANEOUS ALWAYS WIN

BEING PREDICTABLE IS BORING TO THEM...

Fam this also why me go MGTOW you get older and you realized women nature is just ass backward. I agree with everything you said and hell drinks on me cause said a lot of real shyt. Reading this made me tired cause I’m like damn nikkas got to do all of this . Man fukk all that but I see why dudes just dogg out women as well . Like I have said women are Biologically insecure they need to try and test a man. It’s like if you Chose me why Sabotage me being the leader and man in the relationship ? Anyway salute to this post

 

[Artenche]

The thing with this is that even though a fact I do believe that it also is a cop out.

It is an easy thing to say to cover up the fact that there is the fear of relationships as they may have not gone as expected.

A career can go up and down like a relationship but you are not going to back out from that as that not only can give you confidence but can also cover up a facade of the vulnerability and the pains.

But people do not want to concentrate on analyzing and fixing themselves internally because people value the exterior and status over character. And the only way some believe to be an equal is to be on the same level.

There is no such thing as a equal and some people don't get that. You feed of each others differences to help make you a better person

People find it hard to understand that you can have both.

Your career/occupation should not be your whole life.

Focusing on nothing but that and competing with the Joneses is why so many people are mentally tired, suffer depression and get in financial trouble which is similar to being in a relationship for some people.

However if you have a partner who is supportive and that you can share your achievements with and not even that but be an outlet to take your mind away from the stresses of a Career to the point that you don't even need to talk to them about it will give people a clearer piece of mind. A partner should be an outlet from a Career not part of it.

Problem is for some people they do not understand what life is supposed to be and would rather survive than live.

It all comes down to looking at the true reality of life which many people out there fail to do.

And plus what I have learned with social media is that people with esteem and relationship issues have the power to brainwash the vulnerable to help feed on their own faults and vulnerabilities to try and numb the pain that deep down they themselves carry.

But real shyt no matter how much you put on a front that pain will cut deep no matter how hard they try to hide it.

Nobody wants to be in the over 40's clubs just looking to settle with anything knowing that the playboy / sex in the city lifestyle was not all it was made to be.

My thing is this. It is better to be by yourself rather than fake a relationship and waste someones time and emotions. But also don't fake the fact that you want to be loved and that you have made mistakes that you regret.

And if you want someone, let them know you want them.

I can't do a full assessment on Seales because I obviously don't know her personally, but based on the variables I do know I'll say:

1. She is a coastal residing blipster, and these folks tend to not want to grow up until it is too late, which works against them. Growing up in this context meaning sacrificing time, resources, and emotional support, and I don't mean it in the adult material benchmark way (House, car, children). Now this is a general problem with "creatives" who live in major cities, but the difference for blipsters is that they usually don't have access to capital byway of wealthy parents that their white counterparts do, so the downside risks is greater in general, but also in relation to dating.

2. I've listened to her routine (big mistake on my part) and she has a misguided sense of entitlement, misguided not based on my disagreement with her values, but misguided in that she (like many people, and especially Americans) has an irrational expectation of the dating market. When you want something on the market that is represented in probably 10% of the potential dating market, but you:
a) Don't have the shallow factors to put you in position to probably compete for the attention of that 10%.
b) Would consider yourself a failure if you "settled" on someone outside that 10%

You either have to create a new narrative that comes to terms with the marketplace as it is, and remake your internal concept of "settling", hope you get lucky and defy the odds, or accept being alone. I don't think there's anything wrong with the last choice, but I am aware that we are social creatures and unfortunately woman, especially in this social media age are more sensitive to social standing.

Great posts

 

[CarmelBarbie]

@Eddy Gordo

Thank you for your honesty. As for what you wrote, doesn’t all the actions you listed that men do to impress women more about dating and having more access to sex? Nothing on that lists suggests that a man is more ready for marriage. As I read it, it seems like these are the actions men are taking because they believe it will give them more access to more women(and therefore more sex). Or are you saying that men are actually doing all those things, to impress women, because they actually want to get married?

If that’s the case, how do you translate that into the large portion of men that do all that you listed but choose to run through women and be bachelors with no intent on settling down? Or the gmb men? I’m not seeing anything on that lists that demonstrates that those actions mean a man is trying to get married as opposed to trying to make himself more marketable to have more options and more sex.

As for everything else you wrote: I know bw that are getting butt lifts, trying to get thick, wearing their hair in certain styles, slopping on make up, and trying to be what they believe black men want. One of my bw coworkers is doing this 90 day build a booty workout plan to get a bigger butt. I don’t know why she would want a big butt for other women lol. She moved here from Atlanta and asked about the dating scene here. She is trying to put herself on the market. She cooks everyday(lol in following the big booty diet). Trust and believe. The thing is I know more bw like her, that are doing what they think will attract more bm to them. Because they do want marriage. Perhaps the problem is they’re working on the wrong things, or those women are getting overlooked? But since a lot of these women are basing their desirability on what they see men praising on Instagram, they aren’t focusing on the internal qualities that make women more desirable to men. They don’t see these internal qualities being praised and getting the same attention as big booty exotical looking vixens on Instagram? Perhaps it’s time for more dialogue to take place between bm and bw, offline, because both groups feel dissatisfied with the pool of options and neither(in large mass) seems to be able to fulfill what the other group says they want in order to consider marriage.

I do agree that in general bw don’t compete the same way as other races of women when it comes to trying to snag men up to get married as quickly as possible. This is for a lot of different reasons—that I’m too tired to get into. But I still stand by my opinion that bm are not in anymore suitable when it comes to marriage than bw. I’d say that both are in a similar boat—as in some are ready, some aren’t, some never will be. As a whole both bm and bw got a lot of work to do; it isn’t just bw like your asserting.

 

[PhillyzFinest]

Nah. I proposed to her a decade ago.

Was never about marriage. It was about a grand wedding she wanted ME to pay for that I couldn’t that left us at an impasse.

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Geez this explains it all. Home girl resentful as fukk. She just put to get whatever she can b/c she feels he takes her for granted b/c he hasn't acknowledged her as his wife.

Yeah that's rough.

.

 

[SheWantTheD]

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Geez this explains it all. Home girl resentful as fukk. She just put to get whatever she can b/c she feels he takes her for granted b/c he hasn't acknowledged her as his wife.

Yeah that's rough.

Just stop it. This whole we've been together this many years and he ain't put a ring on it is bullshyt. How does she treat you? Is he faithful? Committed, loyal, a good partner?

Y'all know the laws aren't in men's favors at all, fukk getting married by the state. and most people are too broke to be having no wedding either.