Am I doing the right thing by not dating/smashing/socializing?

[PlainSight]

In a contemplative mood before I go for a walk - I fukked up my entire social life by being a hermit for a bunch of reasons. Now I'm trying to sort my life out, not just socially but career wise. I'm mid-20s and live at home with mum, and to be honest, it kind of embarrasses me so I purposefully eschew any kind of dating at the moment and instead focus more on myself and getting to where I need to be. I also have yet to reestablish solid, consistent connection with a lot of my old friends because I'm embarrassed about my own indolence.

Problem is, the few people I am actually in regular contact with think it's all a terrible idea and have put doubts in my head

So I wanna get some opinions from you guys - is it the right thing I'm doing?

 

[Remote]

Do your thing. Get yourself right.

But still socialize and date. Because the people who would clown you ain't really shyt either.

 

[Big Boda]

Just focus on getting your paper right. At least you're trying to get out of mama's house instead of being satisfied with that situation. later for that social stuff because you'll automatically be put into social circles when you've made strides for self improvement. There is nothing wrong with taking a step back to get yourself together.

The more steps you take to improve your situation the more (ladies)people you'll be around who are on the same page with you mentally. Don't regress into unhealthy old relationships out of loneliness.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

In a contemplative mood before I go for a walk - I fukked up my entire social life by being a hermit for a bunch of reasons. Now I'm trying to sort my life out, not just socially but career wise. I'm mid-20s and live at home with mum, and to be honest, it kind of embarrasses me so I purposefully eschew any kind of dating at the moment and instead focus more on myself and getting to where I need to be. I also have yet to reestablish solid, consistent connection with a lot of my old friends because I'm embarrassed about my own indolence.

Problem is, the few people I am actually in regular contact with think it's all a terrible idea and have put doubts in my head

So I wanna get some opinions from you guys - is it the right thing I'm doing?

So what, you just decided to become a hermit cuz you live with your moms? nikkas is taking L's 3 times yours and still out enjoying life. Even if you were 10 years older that's no reason to stop enjoying life, breh. Get the fukk out of the house, go do something stupid as hell, and make a thread telling us how getting back in the game had changed your perspective

 

[BelowTheMasonDixon]

So what, you just decided to become a hermit cuz you live with your moms? nikkas is taking L's 3 times yours and still out enjoying life. Even if you were 10 years older that's no reason to stop enjoying life, breh. Get the fukk out of the house, go do something stupid as hell, and make a thread telling us how getting back in the game had changed your perspective

 

[Silkk]

Get your money up nikka

 

[M.O.N.E.Y.]

You've got to realise that life is a game. I refuse to believe those "super socialisers" care that much to be going out as much as they do. Rather they know it's all in the game. Get to know people, socialise with them you and you will be rewarded in some way - access to the hottest parties/intro to new women.

Then you realise just how much this blends in with the career game. It's all one big circus. It's not what you know, but who you know. Being a hermit, unless you truly have a skill everyone else wants, will fukk you up. Rub the right shoulders. Put your ear to the ground so you know who you got to know and what job promotions are on offer.

Not socialising will fukk you up. Life is a game, bruh

 

[MikelArteta]

All that get your money up before you date is some black jargon


You can die tomorrow do what makes you happy now

 

[PlainSight]

Just focus on getting your paper right. At least you're trying to get out of mama's house instead of being satisfied with that situation. later for that social stuff because you'll automatically be put into social circles when you've made strides for self improvement. There is nothing wrong with taking a step back to get yourself together.

The more steps you take to improve your situation the more (ladies)people you'll be around who are on the same page with you mentally. Don't regress into unhealthy old relationships out of loneliness.

I hear you man - I can't say any of my friendships were unhealthy though - just I got caught up in some confusion about life overall, particularly after the autism diagnosis. Other stuff aswell, but it was my own bullshyt really, that's kinda why I'm embarrassed a little.

So what, you just decided to become a hermit cuz you live with your moms? nikkas is taking L's 3 times yours and still out enjoying life. Even if you were 10 years older that's no reason to stop enjoying life, breh. Get the fukk out of the house, go do something stupid as hell, and make a thread telling us how getting back in the game had changed your perspective

Was other stuff, wasn't just living at home, but that did play a part. My mum's a bit overprotective of me because I have learning difficulties, and that brings it's own set of problems.

 

[Panther]

Its all about balance, nothing wrong with wanting to actively improve your situation. Just remind yourself that its ok to go have some fun from time to time

 

[PlainSight]

You've got to realise that life is a game. I refuse to believe those "super socialisers" care that much to be going out as much as they do. Rather they know it's all in the game. Get to know people, socialise with them you and you will be rewarded in some way - access to the hottest parties/intro to new women.

Then you realise just how much this blends in with the career game. It's all one big circus. It's not what you know, but who you know. Being a hermit, unless you truly have a skill everyone else wants, will fukk you up. Rub the right shoulders. Put your ear to the ground so you know who you got to know and what job promotions are on offer.

Not socialising will fukk you up. Life is a game, bruh

Interesting that you say that - the main reason I made this thread is that I wonder if it's a chicken/egg situation. Like, my lack of socializing and reestablishing old links could eventually be fukking things up for me even more .
Missing dating opportunities, career/networking opportunities.

Like, I'm a musician and in music, networking is everything. Some of my best friends are in music, and I've been out of contact with quite a few of them for an extended length of time. I been waiting to get a catalogue sorted before actually going with them, but what if I just go there with a blank slate and try to start something then, it might be more fruitful.

So that's why I'm questioning whether I'm just doing things the long way round and should do both things concurrently rather than labor on my own.

 

[Couth]

Nothing is going to magically change when you move outta your mommas house. You need to start cultivating a social life now. Or things will just get worse.

Nobody cares if you live with your parents breh. Everyone has their flaws. Your biggest critic is yourself. Learn to stop caring about what people think. Cuz truth is everyones too busy worrying about their own problems to make fun of yours.

One of the most popular kids i know lived with his mom till he was 28. He just moved out last year. This dude has been bummy in every facet of life since i met him. But he has SOOO many connects, some of them rich. And he has a whole stable of females on his dikk. Cuz hes sociable. Honest. Fun to be around. So nobody judges him for being a total loser who barely makes moves. Get like him.

 

[Audemar]

I haven't seen the word eschew since SAT days. Anyway, you should definitely focus on your career and getting your finances in order first. In terms of social life, it's never too late, but you've definitely missed out on things some guys your age have already experienced. By the way, when you first meet a chick, don't use words like "eschew," unless you know for a fact she'll know what it means.

 

[wet landscapes]

I get that
I have a lot of apprehensions about dating, one of the biggest is that I'm just straight up embarrassed by my lack of success compared to my peers
the moment where someone I like evaluates me and deems me not shyt is terrifying to me

 

[PlainSight]

I haven't seen the word eschew since SAT days. Anyway, you should definitely focus on your career and getting your finances in order first. In terms of social life, it's never too late, but you've definitely missed out on things some guys your age have already experienced. By the way, when you first meet a chick, don't use words like "eschew," unless you know for a fact she'll know what it means.

I get that a lot - I use a lot of words like that and got clowned a lot for it when I was younger. I still do it though

I get that
I have a lot of apprehensions about dating, one of the biggest is that I'm just straight up embarrassed by my lack of success compared to my peers
the moment where someone I like evaluates me and deems me not shyt is terrifying to me

I hear that, it kinda gets to me too. I try to be a lot more resilient nowadays because I was a sensitive ass kid, but I still got remnants of that and I allow my own fears about these things get to me. It's something I'm working on.

Nothing is going to magically change when you move outta your mommas house. You need to start cultivating a social life now. Or things will just get worse.

Nobody cares if you live with your parents breh. Everyone has their flaws. Your biggest critic is yourself. Learn to stop caring about what people think. Cuz truth is everyones too busy worrying about their own problems to make fun of yours.

One of the most popular kids i know lived with his mom till he was 28. He just moved out last year. This dude has been bummy in every facet of life since i met him. But he has SOOO many connects, some of them rich. And he has a whole stable of females on his dikk. Cuz hes sociable. Honest. Fun to be around. So nobody judges him for being a total loser who barely makes moves. Get like him.