Any of yall got narcissistic family members?

[Complexion]

They are energetic vampires for sure and if you're raised in the wave like @surf says then its pretty much over before it begins as you're the parent to two overgrown children who put their needs first and yours last since you stepped into this realm. You exist solely to serve them and their needs in the moment, F the rest of what you said is their mode of operation.

The craziest thing about that type of situation is disconnecting as they'll guilt trip and manipulate you to the abyss and back as they need feeding. Its a wild situation and a really deep topic as so many are in the grip of these relationships that can only be defined as toxic.

Not to mention many will go out and repeat the same vibration with others due to its sense of familiarness, even though they hate it. Self knowledge is the key to unlock the mind made prison. The first step is seeing it as it is because only then can you liberate yourself from their grip by making better decisions.

 

[old pig]

Why you say that @surf? What's up with your parents? And not to get sidetracked where is that dude Luken?

I ain’t doing all that online but it’s true tho…all the boxes check out…didn’t peep it at all when I was younger even tho my sibling did…but seen it clear as day as I got older

he got exposed badly for lying about “all” the cars he owned/money he made and went into hiding lol

 

[hostsamurai]

Get out or go as low contact as possible.

I realized in my early twenties any interaction was always negative and literally a waste of my time. Now, I realize any time I have to merely think about them is always exhausting.

Like, I haven't really had a conversation with my mother since August, since she blamed me (the scapegoat) for something golden child started. And in all those months the thought of asking why this is has not occurred to her. Or at least she has not acted on that thought. That alone is irredeemable to me just as a person not a family member.

If someone you are in close contact with whether on a work basis or whatever makes it clear they don't fukk with you, then you've got to try and communicate with that person to at least try to understand the problem.
By not doing that, you're failing as a person.

 

[High Art]

shyt like this for example
@Ian_Carter Mom sounds like one if she wasn't legitimately concerned with her son spiritual life and just wanted to control him using her religion



Also here's a list I got off a google search.

1. They see their child as a source of validation.​

2. They are emotionally reactive, but shame their child’s emotions.​

3. They always put their own needs first.​

4. They have poor boundaries.​

5. They play favorites.​

6. They shift blame onto their children.​

7. They expect the child to be the caregiver.​

That's my dad to a fukking tee. It's one reason why we don't get along at all. That said, you have to wash your hands clean of them entirely or they will drag you down. They'll make you think they've changed and turn back into an a$$hole almost immediately. You basically have to disown them and forget they exist.

 

[ba'al]

I ain’t doing all that online

That's fair bruh.

he got exposed badly for lying about “all” the cars he owned/money he made and went into hiding lol

And he still hiding huh?

Self knowledge is the key to unlock the mind made prison. The first step is seeing it as it is because only then can you liberate yourself from their grip by making better decisions.

True

 

[CarltonJunior]

I think my girl's mom is and even though she isn't, she's picked up some of her bad habits, so I have to put her in check from time to time. If it gets worse she can forget about the future.

Right now we alright though

 

[old pig]

They are energetic vampires for sure and if you're raised in the wave like @surf says then its pretty much over before it begins as you're the parent to two overgrown children who put their needs first and yours last since you stepped into this realm. You exist solely to serve them and their needs in the moment, F the rest of what you said is their mode of operation.

The craziest thing about that type of situation is disconnecting as they'll guilt trip and manipulate you to the abyss and back as they need feeding. Its a wild situation and a really deep topic as so many are in the grip of these relationships that can only be defined as toxic.

Not to mention many will go out and repeat the same vibration with others due to its sense of familiarness, even though they hate it. Self knowledge is the key to unlock the mind made prison. The first step is seeing it as it is because only then can you liberate yourself from their grip by making better decisions.

the dark red wasn’t true for me at all…I didn’t say or allude to that but a lot of the other things you said is straight on

 

[ba'al]

Get out or go as low contact as possible.

 

[Complexion]

Like I said there are many different varieties of this "game" at play but its worth asking yourself the question of who you might have been without this formative experience that placed you on an emotional treadmill for later realization of the scam.

Either way from all I've helped with this situation to the complete and total unconditional acceptance of Self they get is worth it in the end as they achieve a level of wholeness that is missing in this realm because, as mentioned, its a Bright Souls thing. Everyone is broken, few can admit it and fewer still address it.

Narcs won't serve the same for everyone but the ways they make their food feel inside is nigh on identical in each case.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

My mother and mother in law are both narcs, but my mother in law is by far worse.

I was working from home 2 days a week pre COVID. I started working from home full time with the exception of a few days I have to be on location, or work at a different office other than my home office. Yes, I have a lot of free time, but some days, I have a lot of actual work to do. My mother in law got into a car accident, and was without a car for a few months, because the car prices were high, and she wanted to wait until they went down. Keep in mind, this woman has over $180K in crypto. (Second story directly involves money) She was having her kids rotate driving her around, including my wife, who was still my girlfriend at the time. Since my wife was working full time, she asked me to drive this woman around a few times. She lives 30 minutes away. I did it, because I wanted to be nice, and she was still cool then. One day, I wasn’t available, because I had to WORK. The next day, this lady sends me nasty messages, and says don’t text back.



She finally got a used Infiniti truck. You’d think it was a Bentley with the way she talks about it. A couple weeks later, I visit my wife at work, her mom is there, and was telling the story to someone. She turned, said hi, and kept telling the story, victimizing herself, as if her going to ShopRite and Target was of utter importance.

To this day, she never apologized, and we don’t speak to her for many other reasons.

Second story:

Her son borrowed $100 from her, and didn’t pay her back in time. She cussed him out, called him all kinds of names. They are currently not speaking over a hundred dollars. Keep in mind, she has over $100K.

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

By walking away.

The Diceman Cometh

What is the single, most beneficial change you have implemented in your life thus far? Mine has to be removing emotional vampires from my life. No explanation, no reasoning, no nothing. Done. Walk …

willhelp.me

"Energy flows where the attention goes and some folks are evidently null and void within so will drain you with a grin, like a psychopathic abyss. Once you become aware of the concept and truly grok its significance said people can be seen almost reveling in the process and reeling once you disconnect as they are no longer getting what sustains them.

Its a Bright and Dark Souls thing. We’ll get into that in a moment. For now its intriguing how they seem to have a “type” that is rife with image building and can often be quite brown nosing to those with any kind of power and quick to attempt the besmirchification of another in order to paint themselves in a better light, often at your expense. In that sense they are similar to playground bullies except they evidently never grew out of this stage and built their entire life around it as a central tenet of their existence. Worse still is the gaslighting and manipulation to ensure you remain present in the role of supply to fulfill their needs and how often you’ll seem crazy if you point out how they roll as they’ve built another face to share with the world whereas you see what is truly within as you’ve witnessed, first hand, their savageness."

People love to say you shouldn’t turn your back on family, but a toxic person will bring you down. I fully support cutting off toxic family members.

 

[Complexion]

Spiritually speaking I truly am beginning to feel that that is one of the key tests as they place obstacles masquerading as those you have affection for to see if you're truly bout it or faking the funk, willing to fall in line and deny what that quiet voice says inside as so many Bright Souls are gifted and know exactly what they have to do in this realm but are too busy running around as Narc supply to someone else to ever look within and acknowledge the truth of the situation.

I spoke about a technique anyone in this position can try right now to see if it makes a difference:

What Is Your Reason for Living?

Everybody came here to do something. You can call it your Souls fondest wish, your reason for living or that special purpose you feel is calling. Whatever you name it the aim is the same because yo…

willhelp.me

"She nodded, taking it all in. “I can see that, it makes sense but how do I deal with it?”. “OK, lets try this” I said taking another chair and placing it opposite. “I want you to imagine your Opponent is sitting in that seat, hell bent on making you her Victim. Go on, speak your idea, your dream, your wish, your concept. Your desire for a clothing business that uses your talents. Say it like you mean it, like I’m not here and its her conversation”.

...


“Look, I only want whats best for you. Even if you don’t see this. This clothing dream sounds good but it doesn’t seem realistic. Why would they buy what you’re selling and not whats in the shops? It doesn’t make any sense and if its so good why do you need my permission to do it?”

“Thats really it isn’t it” she said as she sat there thinking, out loud to herself. “I need your permission because my say so isn’t enough because you’ve always vetoed it. How did I not see this? It makes so much sense”. She started grinning as she leapt up from her chair and began pacing. “Yes, yes, yes. It makes perfect sense. I get it. She is to me resistance against my wish when in reality its just a test to see if I really want it. Well, I do. I do and I’m confident I can make it happen”.


Its all about dealing with this constant stream of invalidation in order to free yourself from the reigns of ignorance placed around your awareness at anothers behest. Realizing this is when the true healing begins...

 

[buzzkill]

I'd be willing to bet most of our parents, if they were boomers have narcissistic traits or may be full blown narcissist.

 

[Alvin]

Any stories? How do you deal with them?

yep lol, doesn't help they workout too.

 

[CarmelBarbie]

I’m told I’m the narcissistic one—well me and my brother are. But I consider myself to be more of a Machiavellian than a narcissist. My brother is definitely a narcissist.