Any of yall got narcissistic family members?

[Knuckles Red]

How much time I wasted because of him.
That I had to divorce myself from my own: thoughts, feelings, emotions to prioritize his.
The "scam" is real because it never mattered how much I contoured and molded myself, around his perception of who I should be, it was never enough.
The things he'd say. The things he didn't say. They way he'd say them. The way he'd look at me. To say nothing of the physical abuse, because the mental and emotional abuse are the scars that linger.
I could move to the moon and I'd still be lost in this man's world.
The worst thing of all is that I have a father, but I have no father. Only a mass of flesh that yelled at me. Something I had to obey.
"You're not going to make me feel guilty because of this" is what he said after finding the note I left after my attempt at just 17 years old.
Emotional Rape, is what I call it.
How much time I wasted trying to navigate this man. Time I'll never get back. A potential I'll never live up to because I got so distracted.
It was him. He was in my way the entire time.
We talk about the father's who left, but never about the ones who should have...

 

[Complexion]

@Complexion would you say Narcissistic people are happy? What motivates them?

Thats a very interesting question. They are happy when they're doing what they do as its natural as swimming is to a fish therefore they don't think about it but get a buzz from the vampirism. Thing is, on the flip, their inner realms are often bereft of any depth and meaning plus they tend to project out a lot of bad feelings onto their scapegoat/black sheep due to a total lack of introspection.

Its a stunted state of development, like something essential - I posit the amygdala as the main suspect - is fractured due to their own development and the Narc mode of operating is a coping mechanism designed to keep them from facing the truth of this. Its also why they'll never change because its cause is a deeper level of perception that is based in subconscious impulses. Generally they're all about image building to seem perfect as they truly do not like themselves and thats why you see the golden child/outcast dynamic in family situations as well as others thinking they're an angel as they keep the devil hidden so well.

Its also why their mode of operation would be draining for someone regular to calculate and implement but to them feels natural as they don't have to think, just do, based on these impulses. In between the Narcs, Schizophrenics and my own adventures in consciousness I've built a model of this realm that can be quite disconcerting but feels very accurate as it offers hints about what we're within hence the Game of Souls it is because it is and it all plays out inside your awareness ergo I am a figment of your imagination as all are here to teach you more about yourself.

Grasp that and the rest suddenly makes a lot more sense because the outer resonates with within and this is why some people need to suffer so long before they disconnect whilst others head for the hills the moment they realize the sketch.

There is a lot more to all of this than most people suspect and there is a reason why Bright Souls incarnate into families of Darks that spin their own tangled webs to ensnare them...

 

[Ol’Otis]

Any stories? How do you deal with them?

My mom
I don’t deal with her at all

 

[bigde09]

Narcissists don’t live In reality. You have to keep them at a distance

 

[ba'al]

I am a figment of your imagination as all are here to teach you more about yourself.

 

[Complexion]

I cannot deny the wisdom of that quotation.

Speaking of which a lot of back pain etc.. is 90% emotional as a lot of folks raised by Narcs have crippling impingements to their range as they are coping mechanisms to keep their suffering hidden but thats another topic.

Know thyself.

 

[BigMan]

Yes unfortunately. It damaged me

 

[Complexion]

My mom
I don’t deal with her at all

Would you like to speak on this breh and how you came to the realization that things are not the way they are supposed to be and what facilitated the break?

They say mother is the name for god on the lips and hearts of all children but some see that view and perceive satan...

 

[Ohene]

My mother and mother in law are both narcs, but my mother in law is by far worse.

I was working from home 2 days a week pre COVID. I started working from home full time with the exception of a few days I have to be on location, or work at a different office other than my home office. Yes, I have a lot of free time, but some days, I have a lot of actual work to do. My mother in law got into a car accident, and was without a car for a few months, because the car prices were high, and she wanted to wait until they went down. Keep in mind, this woman has over $180K in crypto. (Second story directly involves money) She was having her kids rotate driving her around, including my wife, who was still my girlfriend at the time. Since my wife was working full time, she asked me to drive this woman around a few times. She lives 30 minutes away. I did it, because I wanted to be nice, and she was still cool then. One day, I wasn’t available, because I had to WORK. The next day, this lady sends me nasty messages, and says don’t text back.



She finally got a used Infiniti truck. You’d think it was a Bentley with the way she talks about it. A couple weeks later, I visit my wife at work, her mom is there, and was telling the story to someone. She turned, said hi, and kept telling the story, victimizing herself, as if her going to ShopRite and Target was of utter importance.

To this day, she never apologized, and we don’t speak to her for many other reasons.

Second story:

Her son borrowed $100 from her, and didn’t pay her back in time. She cussed him out, called him all kinds of names. They are currently not speaking over a hundred dollars. Keep in mind, she has over $100K.

Not sure this is narcissicm

I swear the word is the most over used word in the world

Entitled maybe but narcissistic is extreme

 

[Gloxina]

The bold was true for me. I had to basically play the parent. I was the level-headed one. The one who would caution him not trust this person or that. Caution him on not repeating mistakes. Caution him on being careful with his money and not to stunt. Have to deal with the consequences of his tantrums. At one point I was paying for my siblings rents when they were in med school. He only offered to pay for some of their expenses when he found out I was paying for shyt. I recall a time when my younger siblings told him that I was more of a father to them than he was and their only example a good black man was me. Had no effect on him other than having him act out more instead of reflecting. shyt will drain any level-headed person.

Damn this sounds so familiar




Man, we had some fukked up childhoods.
Lol

And it totally sucks because my family as a whole is really successful, so my mother and her crazy ways were literally covered up for YEARS. Like, her siblings literally JUST started verbally acknowledging what they’ve known FOREVER.

Apparently she was out of control all during their youth but they were scared of her and her mouth so no one checked her. I have one uncle who literally puts her in check when necessary and one cousin who has some serious bass in his voice that she respects because she knows even though she’s his elder, that’s the one nephew who will pull her card.

I’ve literally lived a life smiling and pretending everything is perfect to keep up appearances.

 

[The Guru]

Some situations you unfortunately can't just walk away from. Thing is a true hardcore narcissist will pit everybody around you against you. They will try and often times succeed in isolating people from the rest of the world.

 

[Complexion]

Yes unfortunately. It damaged me

Realizing this is the first step to changing it. Granted its not easy as it takes a lot of work and will to unwarp the foundations of your life and various concepts you hold as sacrosanct but therein lies the gift when compared to the rest of the populace as they have no need, desire or inkling to question the status quo as their programming works perfectly well to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick way of doing things.

On the flip those that have been emotionally mangled by these types of relationships often intuit there is something very, very wrong at a fundamental level with this realm where we don flesh to serve a life sentence. Maybe not in ways that dramatic but enough to question the narrative and generate new conclusions whilst they seek peace by exorcising old demons.

Try what I said a few posts back with a pad and pen because the simple act of reconnecting like this with your subconscious generates immense dividends. Better yet if you want to take it to the next level and really meet the true emotions within then do this:

How to Speak to Your Inner Child

Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Ad…

willhelp.me

"You will require a notepad and two pens. One with black and the other red ink along with the intent and dedication to take twenty to forty five minutes every day at the same time, the same place for twenty one consecutive days to take the foundational steps to rebuild your relationship to the child within. You are them, they are you and together you can be more powerful than you ever dreamed. The protocol works like this:

The black pen is held in your dominant hand and the red in the other for your child to reply. Spill the ink and introduce yourself, speak how you would to an actual little one with the same care, compassion and attention. Start off with something like “Its Twenty Twenty Two, December Thirtieth and I’m sitting here at my desk at Eight Fifteen, PM, writing this to you, my beautiful child within” or whatever comes to your awareness, feels best and most natural followed by a question. Then pick up the red pen in your other hand and answer it.

Thats it."


Try it. See what happens. 21 days of doing this can be life changing as its a very simple, effective and direct method to connect to your Inner Sense that knows, hears, sees, feels and remembers everything along with a heck of a lot more than your Adulterated aspect could ever imagine...

 

[Ol’Otis]

Apparently she was out of control all during their youth but they were scared of her and her mouth so no one checked her.

@Complexion this, except for out of control
Her mouth is horrible which is funny cause she can’t fight at all
She’s spent her whole adult life playing victim when in actuality she was the almighty suspect

 

[Complexion]

Yeah, Narcs specialize in mind games and the tongue of venom is a well known trait as is bearing grudges to the grave if you go against the grain.

Its a very corrosive influence that I've seen perpetuate itself across generations and create its own types of coping mechanisms along with so many other problems and dysfunctions.

Craziest thing is I'm fairly certain those who run the world are like this but to the tenth power... By their fruits shall ye know them. Look around and see if you're doubting because its quite obvious whats happening when you peep Game.

The world as it stands is a Dark Soul creation, made for them to thrive, hide in plain sight and woe betide a Bright who tries to shine as they'll swoop in to feed. Often on their own babies...

 

[buzzkill]

Very common in that generartion

Always wondered why

They called the "me" generation for a reason. U can see the narc in them with how much debt they have in the form of mcmansions and car loans etc. All just to stunt on each other. I think it comes from their parents trauma from ww2. Generational trauma