Anyone Seen this 'Why Your Team Sucks' Piece at Deadspin?

[MegaTronBomb!]

Archie threw Under 56 percent? so what? lol it was such a different game then to compare it to now where you cant guard wr's and if you throw for under 60% completions your garbage is unfair

you don't even have to chalk it up to the different era.... he probably had one of the WOAT offensive lines, i think it was Merlin Olsen who said that he felt bad that his line couldn't block to save their lives...and didn't even wanna tackle him.

on top of just playing on shyt awful teams, he got sacked more times than anyone 3 of his first 5 seasons in NO.

 

[PTBG]

I'm fukking at this Lions article:

If you mention Barry Sanders in a room full of Lions fans, 90% of them will still stay he could rush for 1,000 yards today. He retired 15 years ago. I'm just waiting for Calvin Johnson to walk away from having his soul crushed in the shythole that is the Lions too.

We treat Matt Stafford like he has the accuracy of an archer and the arm power of Hercules. In all honesty if he didn't have Calvin's hulking body to throw the ball to, he would accumulate 12 yards a game. "Ohhh but he threw for 5,000 yards." That's because we get so far behind in the game so quick that our only option is to air the ball out.

Two years ago when we actually made the playoffs, the Saints didn't punt ONCE during the entire game. Did we fire the defensive coordinator? No, we signed the asshat to an extension.

Do you know how agonizing it is to see teams like the Buccaneers, Saints, and especially the Cardinals all make the Super Bowl before the Lions? Hell, the Texans entered the league a decade ago and have won two playoff games. A baby born the day the Lions last won a playoff game can legally drink now, and the last time they won a championship bathrooms were still segregated. None of the last 13 non-interim head coaches have received another NFL head coaching job.

And yet there's always this blind optimism every year, as if all of Southeast Michigan has the collective memory of a goldfish. During tonight's preseason game against the Jets, the local play-by-play guy described Shaun Hill as "a guy who knows how to win games." I don't even even know how to respond to that. Nothing about this team will change until they bury old man Ford, hopefully in his ugly shytbox of a stadium.

The Lions have exactly ONE playoff game in the last 55 years. One, and that was 22 freaking years ago. The Texans, who have been around for a little more than a decade have two wins. The Carolina Panthers had two wins...in 2005. The Browns, who have been HORRIBLE, still have 7 wins over that time period. The Cardinals have been horribler, and they went to a Super Bowl. Pick ANY team...Jacksonville, Cincinnati and they all have managed to somehow accidentally have a short period where they were good enough to actually win some playoff games. But not the Lions, their playoff incompetence is almost supernatural.

In the 47 years of the Super Bowl era, the Detroit Lions franchise has 3 fewer playoff wins than Mark Sanchez.

Matt Stafford is a slower, fatter, whiter Daunte Culpepper. Culpepper was good for one reason: Randy Moss. Post Moss he had ZERO good seasons, best QB rating was 78. Take Megatron away from Stafford and what so you have? A fat white guy that fukking sucks at football. Freak of nature WR's can make really shytty fat QB's a lot of fukking money.

 

[killacal]

^^^^^ God fukking damn he went in on Stafford

 

[LebronsHairline]

Arthur? You 1930s movie villain-looking motherfukker. I bet Blank spends his free time tying damsels to railroad tracks.

I swear the first time i saw this nikka on tv that was the first thing i thought of

 

[3rdLetter]

I need that Giants one. It's gonna have me &

 

[315]

I ain't trying to read that shyt

 

[muzikfrk75]

The Panthers....

Jake Delhomme is our franchise leader in, brace yourself, Passing yards, Completions, Touchdowns, Playoff Wins, and is the winningest Panthers quarterback of all time.

I hope I'm not the only person that is sick of feeling like the pro football team in the state I grew up in is the 5th most popular team in the state next to:

1. Leftover racist Redskins fans from the days when they were Dixie's Team.

2. Leftover Cowboys fans who were only 'Boys fans because they were mostly black and appropriately hated the Redskins. They mostly still just look like Cowboys fans because they can't sell all their old bootleg Emmitt Smith jerseys at the bus station.

3. The fukking YINZ ARN CITY BEER BIG BENZ DA MAN YINZ YINZ Pittsburgh diaspora, which fled the Midwestern Rust Belt Dumpster Fire for shytty banking jobs in Charlotte. These are the sort of people who blame unions for making them leave their homes and then vote for chucklefukks like Pat McCrory because they're hard workin Americans.

4. And The Buffalo Bills diaspora, and it doesn't speak well of the Panthers that they can't win over THOSE people.

Too much truth.

 

[mozichrome]

i swear them fan letters be nothing but ether

 

[jericho]

Can't wait for the rest of the NFC North this week

 

[muzikfrk75]

I can't wait to see Ray Lewis avoid commenting on the Aaron Hernandez situation in his new role at TWWL.

 

[King Biko]

That nikka said Big Ben the only human who thinks more clearly when he's confused

 

[Lucky_Lefty]

i swear them fan letters be nothing but ether

Son them Steelers fans were going IN

 

[Ku$h Parker]

Son them Steelers fans were going IN

The Packers Hate Mail just took the Cake breh@FloorGeneral ya city mang

 

[Taadow]

He published my letter in the Chiefs one...