Im not. I think a big part of that is from popping pills and drinking. Its fun when you first start out. Then the drugs stop working. At that point whether you're high or sober you still feel like shyt. I wish i never started doing any of it. I been sober for months and i still feel on edge.
I met this girl and shes bipolar or borderline or something. bytch is like an evil genius. She played me into staying with her despite all the red flags. Now shes "in love" and my life is constant drama. I never knew a relationship could be this bad. In the past females have always made me really happy.
My friends and family are all going through their shyt. Then they depend on me for assistance. i just feel obligated to hella people and stretched thin. I haven't been truly happy in like a year.
Life is what you make it. Im so unhappy because i spent months on xans and percs. Neglecting all my relationships. Avoiding any type of emotion or meaningful social interaction. I lost a lot of my social skills and a lot of myself. That shyt really does turn you into a zombie.
Now that im sober i can focus on manifesting the reality that i want. But its hard. Most of the time i just wanna pop two xans and say fukk everything.