Covid era fukked me up and really humbled me. I had a bad psychological break. It was a year long anxiety attack, that's the only way I can explain it. I would wake up and for the first minute I was fine but once I booted up I felt like I had electricity in my veins. I could feel it coming on weeks or months prior, like a damn getting ready to burst. When it did I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I thought I was above it.
What's funny is that having a severe anxiety breakdown helped me realize that I had been dealing with anxiety my entire life just not to that degree and I thought it was normal. Now I'm much more mindful of it and try to keep it on a leash but it will probably always be with me.
Prior to Covid I was already taking interest in how fragile society really is and how many things are barely hanging on by a string. Covid just solidified my beliefs. I was in Bk when Sandy came through and shyt started breaking down really quick. There were times that I could smell violence creeping up at gas stations and in the lines for them. Seeing dumpsters full of food outside grocery stores was wild.
Wifey and I biked to the Rockaways to see the damage and we were speechless. Sand from the beach was pushed back about a quarter mile from the shore. The parking lot was filled with debri of all sorts from houses to benches to fences... The pile must've been four stories high and was larger than a football field.
A 10 minute walk away from our apt an entire neighborhood was 10+ feet underwater, the cars were scattered everywhere randomly so I was wondering why people parked that way. Then I realized they were floating around in the flood.
Trying to explain Covid lockdown era to someone who didn't live through it would be difficult.
. People getting fired for stealing masks, sani wipes, etc. Sweating in PPE, I'm a hero discounts and free meals. Ghost town while driving to work. Wearing gloves at the gas station. The death.
