Attraction Is Black & White. No In Between. The Games End When You Realize That.

Legend

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Quite often, my brother comes to me with woman problems. 9/10 times, his issue revolves around the inability to determine if a woman likes him or not; whether interest is there or not. He gets so caught up in the whirlwind of self-doubt and obsessing himself with the minute details of a woman's interaction towards him.

"Well, Legend, she did this... But then she said this... Look how she said this over here... She said we'll meet but now this, that and the third."

When it comes to someone we like, male or female, we tend to overanalyze the nuances of their actions if their intentions or interest isn't explicitly clarified or easily verifiable upfront. This lack of clarity is the catalyst to self-doubt and negative thinking. And if you don't check yourself, you'll find yourself drifting down the rabbit hole. Emotional health soon follows.

We are all victim to this. Tough guys and simps alike. What seperates a man or woman from the simp counterpart is their ability to recognize what interest is, and know when it isn't there without the need for enhanced calculations and late night thought sessions alone in bed.

The problem is, people like my brother don't understand how, really, biological attraction is. Take the cultural infrastructure out and keep your perception focused through the simplified scope of plain nature, and you'll come to see that 1+1=2.

This brings me to my main point. And these next statements will always be true; it is infallible and it will stand the test of time. And anyone who challenges it, I will be more than welcome to prove it's simple yet monumental effectiveness and truth. It wont blow your mind, you've heard it 1000 times before, but people don't truly understand what it means:

If a woman wants to be with you, she will be with you. Period.

If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. Period.

Common phrase, but no one really knows what those statements mean. I will give you an example.

People tend to read things like that and try to throw variables into the equation. They try and give as many excuses as possible; they try and muddy the colors and drift away from this simple black and white truth.

What if this happens, what about x, y, z etc.

When my brother told me that he didn't invite a girl to fly out and see him because he thought that would be 'out of the way' and 'too much'.... I asked him, do y'all like each other and want to be with each other? He said yes....

Then no the fukk it isn't.

If two people want to be together, they will find a way to be together. Period.

No excuses.

6 weeks of talking and ya'll haven't tried to see each other just once??

Unacceptable.

And if you and whoever plan something, but it doesn't work, you both will equally try another way. If plan A doesn't pan out, you move to plan B. If not, Plan C.

Two people who genuinely want to be together will make it happen, no matter what. That's what real attraction is. If excuses are involved, you DO NOT want to be with each other.

And lets be clear. By excuses, I mean not even LOOKING for a way to make it happen. Not TRYING to find a solution. That's what excuses are. If a man or woman can't do something on behalf of the relationship, that's fine. That's life. BUT...

What separates attraction from lack thereof is one's WILLINGNESS to find another way.

A real nikka and real woman won't play games. Whether that be in person, or in this generation, through texting. They are straight shooters. No tit for tat, 'you text me an hour later so I will text you back exactly one hour later'. I called but you didn't pick up, so next time you call, I won't pick up. <---- All that bullshyt is for da birds. And if you are dealing with someone who shows those tendencies, you aren't dealing with someone who wants to be with you, you dealing with someone who likes attention. Trust me.

I told my brother if the only thing a woman has to present to you are excuses why she can't do X,Y,Z, there is no attraction. If a woman is texting you 3 or 4 hours later and at the most has three words to say, no attraction (that's what she was doing to him). Basically, if you have an inch of doubt that a woman/man is playing games.... It's because they are.

Trust your instincts; know that attraction is black and white. Attraction is straight forward. Attraction is 'Wednesday doesn't work, but can I see you Thursday?'. Attraction is 'you got busy for a second and couldn't reply to him/her til an hour later --- and they hit you back with no hesitation telling you it's cool, and another subject is brought up.'

You should never have to question who you are, or how you should behave around someone. You should never have think about texting that someone, or think about calling them, or seeing them... Because if you have to think about it, that means you are afraid of rejection. If you are afraid of rejection, that means you are dealing with someone who hasn't made it clear that they are attracted to you. You will not hesitate to reach out to someone you know wants to be with you.

So while you are out dealing with that woman, or that man... And you find yourself thinking about your actions before doing them..... You already know what that means.
 

wickedsm

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Good post op.
I would add to not over think the non attracted to you either.
No need to wallow in that self doubt (was it my hair? Was it my shoes? ) or even worse create elaborate theories in your mind (she probably only dates xyz, or whatever)

Just Kim onto the next one. Because if that one is attracted to you that's all you need.




*nothing wrong with objectively looking over what you felt you did well or could have done better, ie opportunities for improvement. But that's not self doubt.
Thats not questioning yourself endlessly.
Two different things.
 

SirReginald

The African Diaspora Will Be "ONE" (#PanAfricana)
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Good post OP.

A;so, O can read women's emotions like a Bible scripture. You can basically tell off the flirting if they feeling you or not. Hopefully, your Bro bags a few this year.
 

WaveCapsByOscorp™

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i've been with woman i wouldn't have thought were attracted to me based off how they interacted with me. i remember one specifically because when we would go out, it seemed like her friend, who was just more outgoing than her, was more into me than she was. however, i asked her at least twice point blank about how she felt about me and she'd confirm her feelings. sometimes it's best to take a woman's word for it rather than analyze things over and over again trying to make up an answer to an idea she hasn't explicated yet
 

Data-Hawk

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While I agree with most of OP's points. Life is not
Always so simple. I had a situation where I was basically put in the friend zone. But because me and the girl worked together. She came around about a year later( I had stopped chasing her after she said she only wanted to be friends ).

The girl I'm dating now. I didn't see her the way I do now at first. 1 day out of nowhere we just really clicked and I think about her all the time
Now :(

So while OP is probably right for the most part, you have to take it situation by situation.
 

GetInTheTruck

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Its true. One thing I never understood is getting a girls number and not calling cause you don't want to seem thirsty. I would always tell girls after I got their number that I'm calling them that night, cause I ain't get it for no reason.
 
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