Bae Is Becoming Cheap. Help A Bruhette Out?
- Thread starter A Woman's Opinion
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MadameMoreaux
Pro
Instead of spending your money at white owned businesses, do something that is free. Go for a walk, have a picnic, play board games, read a book together, just enjoy each others company.
Poh SIti Dawn
Staying Positive, Getting Better Everyday. Holler!
Oh, well as a woman you must be able to speak up for yourself. This is a relationship not a dictatorship, tell him how you feel.
Jparker
Innocence lost in the EAST
so you want nikkas to tell you how to extort more money from this man?
A Woman's Opinion
All Star
i was just trying to explain this to @Gravity
once men equalize themselves to women, both partners lose.
if you gotta 40 yr old man thats on that shyt, you gotta move on. next time dont be on that 50/50 bullshyt and let whomever know you want to be provided for
But That's the thing...
I DON'T WANT TO BE PROVIDED FOR.
I know it sounds like I am talking in circles, but let me try to explain...
I want it how it was in the beginning.
At first... When I contributed, it was a surprise and a nice gesture. (I did it sorta often, but not always)
Now BAE is spoiled, and it is EXPECTED as opposed to appreciated. Get it?
He really is a great boyfriend, but how do I say this without seeming like I am downing him? (he is a great boyfriend)
A Woman's Opinion
All Star
Yeah. We have a great relationship, and I am pretty submissive. I don't like confrontation and I hate arguing. I don't think it would be an argument, but he is a very stubborn man. Talking to him can be like talking to a brick wall.
The Nigerian
The Realest Member of TheColi
Sounds like this thread should be about building a time machine.
this is why i say women need to be handled with kids gloves, y'all dont know what the hell you want.
you say you dont want to be provided for now but you're already complaining he's being cheap. you're only 28, right? when you hit 35-40 yrs old; you're going to be envious of women thats being provided for by their men. remember my words when the shyt hits ya, good luck
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MadameMoreaux
Pro
If he is a good boyfriend then you need to let this issue go. If you don't want to spend money then don't go out anymore.
KravenMorehead™
Barrel Brothers.®
A Woman's Opinion
All Star
I was gonna crack jokes on you and shyt brehette but its too close to 5pm. I'm trying to get outta the office so honestly, talk to him.You were doing the right thing with also pitching in and showing that you value the relationship beyond what he spends on you by spending on him as well but he may have gotten cheap for a reason. Maybe he's saving up for something, maybe he just a cheap nikka....maybe he spending on another chick.Point is, theres no reason not to just ask. If you can't communicate this type of little shyt with him, it aint going anywhere no way.
Best advice. Thanks.
One thing I know is going on is he is having issues with one of his cars, and he is trying to get it fixed up before the summer. I know that is costing him a lot, which is why I have been patient. His daughter also has junior prom coming up and other stuff cause she is graduating from the 8th grade this year. So proud.
One thing though...My BAE has ALWAYS been cheap, and he warned me about that day one. That is okay with me, because I am kinda cheap too. So, I get it... I just...
Can't explain. But you guys are helping. Thanks.
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You 2 are just not financially compatible at this point. You can be a little more understanding of that and pool your resources together and try to build towards a common goal that both of you set for your future.
Or you can communicate with him and break it off while you find someone you can build with.
But this won't happen, instead you both will try to fit a circle in a square and dig yourselves deeper in the hole and the cycle will continue. This is not just you alone so don't think I'm passing judgment on my high horse, because it goes like this within our society.
If I was in your position, and I don't see a future with said person, I will just leave things the way they are because I know what it is, or break it off, however if I see a future with this person then we have to make some adjustments to change our situation for the better.
Or you can communicate with him and break it off while you find someone you can build with.
But this won't happen, instead you both will try to fit a circle in a square and dig yourselves deeper in the hole and the cycle will continue. This is not just you alone so don't think I'm passing judgment on my high horse, because it goes like this within our society.
If I was in your position, and I don't see a future with said person, I will just leave things the way they are because I know what it is, or break it off, however if I see a future with this person then we have to make some adjustments to change our situation for the better.
A Woman's Opinion
All Star
this with women need to be handled with kids gloves, y'all dont know what the hell you want.
you say you dont want to be provided for now but you're already complaining he's being cheap. you're only 28, right? when you hit 35-40 yrs old; you're going to be envious of women thats being provided for by their men. remember my words when the shyt hits ya, good luck
K.
But I should tell you...
He is the type to be a provider. If it were up to him I would be barefoot and pregnant, and we would be living together.
Don't misunderstand me. He is very hardworking and independent. (more so than me!) This is what I admire about him.
He is just CHEAP. Yes, a man can be a provider,but be cheap too.
That probably doesn't make sense, right?
But think about it...
ALSO: Men don't know what they want either...
K.
But I should tell you...
He is the type to be a provider. If it were up to him I would be barefoot and pregnant, and we would be living together.
Don't misunderstand me. He is very hardworking and independent. (more so than me!) This is what I admire about him.
He is just CHEAP. Yes, a man can be a provider,but be cheap too.
That probably doesn't make sense, right?
But think about it...
ALSO: Men don't know what they want either...
nah, i got ya and it makes sense. long as he has that patriarchal instinct to provide in him. women are slowly diminishing that spirit in the younger generations of men.
