“Be Yourself” is the worst advice you can give to someone

[CapitalforCapital]

The thing is you're comparing real life to employment. A job is a place where everybody is putting on airs and pretending. In real life, people can sense when you're being fake and they'll either be repelled from you or will simply use you for their own gain. "Be yourself' is valuable advice for life outside of work. Pretending to be someone you're not as a man is a weakness because you're not comfortable with who you are. Humans have instincts that can easily sense this about somebody. A man needs to have knowledge of self and core values he lives by in his real life. Even when it comes to dating, this is why women like "bad boys" and not "squares." You have a square mentality. "Bad boys" are true to themselves regardless of what people think and that's their power

So when you go on a date with a female you show up without a haircut, no shower, etc.

That’s your true self right?

 

[Rhapscallion Démone]

It’s just a socially polite way of saying either "you being fake", "you gonna have to figure it out for yourself", "try something better suited for you" or "I don't know what to tell you"

 

[MMS]

First of all which version of myself should I be the version when I’m with my family, at a job interview, etc.

Second if being themself worked they wouldn’t be struggling with whatever they struggling with.

I feel like when someone gives you generic advice like this or “grind harder”, “:stack that money”, or “keep ya head up”.

It’s just a socially polite way of saying Idgaf.

the better question is

why have different versions of yourself? Who implied that being different in parts of your life was desired or required?

 

[Manolo]

So when you go on a date with a female you show up without a haircut, no shower, etc.

That’s your true self right?

No, because one of my values is self-preservation and to always look presentable. You're confusing "being yourself" with being the worst version of yourself. Being yourself is developing a set of core values and principles that you live by and never deviate from for any reason.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

You described that you don't know yourself thus can't be yourself.

It's not bad advice you just not ready to receive it.

 

[africngiant]

Who am I, Who are you. “Yourself” is a social construct. There’s no “you” without others so what are you really saying. You just parroting dollar store self improvement tropes.

you have your own core set of beliefs and are taught right from wrong at a young age. you should be able to separate those with good intentions from those who don’t have your best interests in mind. if someone deviates from their own beliefs then that just makes them a sheep. don’t try to fit into any patterned social norm just to be apart of it. especially if you get no long term gratifications from it. then you’re just wasting your time and risking your reputation and livelihood trying to keep up with others who likely don’t care anyway

it all depends on who you’re trying to impress from changing your behavior. not everyone needs your acceptance if it doesn’t help move you forward substantially

 

[ROFL_GUY]

So much of what it is to be male, in our society, is based on this idea of not being anything like women, because being a woman/feminine is the worst thing you can be, and so a lot of men never get to be who they really are. So much focus is put on who/what not to be. Thats why its so easy to guilt a man and to debase him because so much value is put on being masculine to the most toxic of extremes. There are a lot of men out here who will never know who they really are. There are a lot of men out here who will never meet their true selves. And so, at that point, what do you have to offer another human being in terms of a relationship? And what even is the quality of what you are offering them? And what can they offer you in return? Its sad.

your life expectations are determined by the media and women?

 

[Wig Twistin Season]

I think the phrase is misused and should be “be TRUE to yourself” because if you lie to yourself about what you want, who you are and what you can and can’t do, you have no compass to understand what direction you need to move in.

Be yourself at home and with your woman. At work play the game and be the version of you that gets the promotion or raise. With family be available despite the drama or headache unless they burn a bridge. With your woman and children, be the leader and the logical one. With your friends, be the doer not the talker.

 

[Ohene]

the better question is

why have different versions of yourself? Who implied that being different in parts of your life was desired or required?

youre ignoring the fluidity of human interaction and experience

you are only one particular way until you are faced with something that naturally causes you to think/act/feel differently.

like the gentleman said, there is no such thing as one true identity. humans are constantly changing based on their surroundings, the people theyre interacting with, their moods, their past experiences etc.

i tell my girlfriend this shyt all the time

in stead of expecting one to be constant, one should hope for consistency AT BEST...and with that learn to expect change. the value is in learning to be adaptable rather than how to function when everything is held constant, because expecting the latter is delusional and naiive

 

[maxamusa]

OP you got ADD or something? fukk is up with all your threads lately

 

[MMS]

youre ignoring the fluidity of human interaction and experience

you are only one particular way until you are faced with something that naturally causes you to think/act/feel differently.

like the gentleman said, there is no such thing as one true identity. humans are constantly changing based on their surroundings, the people theyre interacting with, their moods, their past experiences etc.

i tell my girlfriend this shyt all the time

in stead of expecting one to be constant, one should hope for consistency AT BEST...and with that learn to expect change. the is in in learning to be adaptable rather than how to function when everything is held constant, because expecting the latter is delusional and naiive

so if you take your ego out of it (what you believe of yourself) then you are left with a dynamic state correct?

but if children are taught: "Make something of yourself" you in essence are torn between two narratives

reality, and expected reality. Id go with Goku and go for ultra instinct

 

[Ohene]

so if you take your ego out of it (what you believe of yourself) then you are left with a dynamic state correct?

but if children are taught: "Make something of yourself" you in essence are torn between two narratives

reality, and expected reality. Id go with Goku and go for ultra instinct

you speaking in riddles doesnt make you sound any smarter. be clearer

what i can say is that expectations tend to lead to disappointment. One should learn to expect to be faced with the unexpected. People need accept that life and especially people are unpredictable

 

[CapitalforCapital]

No, because one of my values is self-preservation and to always look presentable. You're confusing "being yourself" with being the worst version of yourself. Being yourself is developing a set of core values and principles that you live by and never deviate from for any reason.

How is getting a haircut self preservation. It’s proving that taking too many showers kills your skin. You’re doing it because it’s socially acceptable. That’s an instilled value not a chosen one. We’re born into this world shytting wherever we can not showering or nothing. So what are you really saying.

The fact is we all “fake” people or identity doesn’t exist chose one.

 

[MMS]

you speaking in riddles doesnt make you sound any smarter. be clearer

what i can say is that expectations tend to lead to disappointment. One should learn to expect to be faced with the unexpected. People need accept that life and especially people are unpredictable

I am ok sounding slow to you, I have no need to speed

 

[richaveli83]

So just be fake?