Losing faith in these things is a very deep and personal experience and is very painful. You have not lost any of yourself in the process and you have not denied yourself access to yourself at all. If anything on your religious and spiritual journey youve begun to run rather than walk and there are still times for both. You may find a stronger interpretation of the bible, if you like stricter order in the abrahamic sense you may get into Islam and stuff.
Time works siginificantly different for black folks and this may take ur whole life to figure out. In the meantime go outside and really begin to appreciate how Divine It All Is. Appreciate that previously before you were wrapped up in all the verses, you have, by association, an excellent memory which will only be expanded as you continue to learn more and more importantly lesrn more about yourself. It is time to research further into history as other posters have alluded to so you can find what is best for you. Be compassionate with yourself in this trying time. Lick ur wounds my guy but when the sunshine falls on u and u feel that warmth, literally do this
Time works siginificantly different for black folks and this may take ur whole life to figure out. In the meantime go outside and really begin to appreciate how Divine It All Is. Appreciate that previously before you were wrapped up in all the verses, you have, by association, an excellent memory which will only be expanded as you continue to learn more and more importantly lesrn more about yourself. It is time to research further into history as other posters have alluded to so you can find what is best for you. Be compassionate with yourself in this trying time. Lick ur wounds my guy but when the sunshine falls on u and u feel that warmth, literally do this



but i still felt a little conflicted being in there
