being introverted can be a gift and a curse.

[Krazy]

Yeah I must be an introvert.
I dont have the confidence

Always been quiet but Im noticing it more nowadays im unsociable I dont really talk to nobody. Im working on it though.
Niccas out here extending there friend circles and Im out here barely mixing with my old/current circle

I dont mind it at times but when I see people socialising so easily Im like damn I need to be doing that, I need to be networking.

Set weekly challenges brehs

 

[Lo-Co]

it might be a bit cynical but you should look at social interaction as a form of transaction. if you've nothing to offer, whether it be looks or money, then what right do you have to hang out with the popular kids?

it might be very difficult to mull over, because most of us have been indoctrinated with an over-inflated sense of our own worth, but overall, you'll be a much happier person accepting the fact that the world is inherently unfair and that you will not always get what you want.

and thats true. i respect the honesty. i feel like more honesty is needed. i used to try and fit in with the popular kids and go after the attractive girls. but i stopped lying to myself and said fukk it. ill fukk with whoever wants to fukk with me. have my own group. besides. high school popularity doesnt mean shyt when you graduate. neither does a valedictorian to me.

 

[DJ Mart-Kos]

word, i never hung around with the cats from high school anymore after i graduated.

 

[Lo-Co]

I'm very introvert and insecure.
I used to go to school and literally not say 1 word for 2 hours straight sometimes. (no joke)
But i guess it has to with my autism also.
But 1 of my friends (girl) says im very social which i never expected.
Its funny i find it easier to talk to girls usually.

im autistic as well. and i can talk to female friends easily if i dont have feelings for them

 

[DJ Mart-Kos]

LOL, is it me or does everybody seem to be autistic these days.
Some people i really dont understand why theyre diagnosed with autism.

 

[kaldurahm]

For me it got to the point I don't even save people's numbers or even ask for someone's number... You should see my inbox It's just numbers with no names.

This thread hits way too close to home. I'm not ugly yet I can't get girls lmao. Oh well

 

[OCCAMS_RAZOR]

It sucks when you meet people who feel like you don't like them if you don't hit them up everyday or reply back by a certain time. Sometimes, I have nothing to say, and sometimes I'm busy with me time. Yes, being by myself is important. I need to unplug from the world and recharge myself.

that's true, but personally i don't like it when people do that to me. you can tell whether someone is actually 'busy' or whether that 'being busy' is manufactured. that's why i always try to hit people back in a timely manner and if i don't i apologize. however, if folks take their time getting back to me, andthey're legitimately busy then i can understand, even though it makes me feel uncomfortable. but yeah, i try not to do it ot others because generally i don't like it being done to me.

 

[DrX]

being introverted is miserble

 

[ryshy]

i feel u tbh

 

[Lo-Co]

LOL, is it me or does everybody seem to be autistic these days.
Some people i really dont understand why theyre diagnosed with autism.

ive always had delays. i didnt speak till i was 4. i never really wanted to be picked up as a kid. lol its a long list.

 

[FlyRy]

fukk people

I just want to watch my movies and shows and occasionally listen to music

 

[Spin]

I can relate to some of this as I was considered "quiet" when I was younger. I'm still not that loud person at the party, but I can work a room and get what I came for.

I would highly recommend toastmasters to anyone who wants to improve their social skills. You will be around many people in the same boat as you so you won't feel as intimidated. Giving prepared speeches is great, but the off the cuff table topics is where I gained the most. Basically they will call your name and ask you a question once you get up in front of the group. You don't have time to have a prepared speech so it's really just you in that moment coming up with something.

I must admit if you're doing anything spontaneous such as being put on the spot, you will feel a different energy rush over your body. Some people who are quiet can't handle this and they totally shut down. Over time you will be able to better handle the situation. I have a theory that the same energy that shuts down the quiet person is the same that pushes the over the top extrovert to go further. It's literally like a drug and people have different reactions.

Considering the economic times we're in, being able to communicate is one of the single most important skills for survival. Yes you might be more talented than that other person, but he got the job or the opportunity because he spoke up. People don't have the time to look at every individual to figure out who is best. Most of the time it's someone in their network or someone who has constantly put themselves in a position to get noticed.

In many ways a "functional" introvert is the most dangerous because he or she can analyze a situation without getting caught up in the hoopla and execute. Introverts are typically good at finishing projects and understanding data/relationships. If you combine that with decent social skills, doors will open. Most people just want someone who will listen to what they have to say. Being able to initiate a conversation and then just sit back and listen(which a introvert should be good at) you can gain the upper hand in almost any interaction.

 

[Shamrock32]

I feel everyone's pain. I'm the same way. Going to social settings or house parties, I'm a wreck. I'm laid back and try to hide it, but I'm unbearably uncomfortable in front of too many people especially if I don't know them. Even if I'm comfortable with the person I'm chillin with, I'm not fully myself.

I'm not gonna write a 5,000 word "WHYYYY" post, but I'll say this about myself. I have a lot more to offer than even my closest friends even know. My close friends catch flashes but never the total package of my personality. I'm one of those people that can shut down in social settings. I'm never truly "myself" unless I am in a room by myself. That's the only time I'm comfortable. Even when I'm hanging around my 2 best friends watching a game, my full personality doesn't even start to come out unless we're drinking or smoking. I'm still quiet. I realize that this is a problem and I'm working on it, but I fear that it'll never change.

That's really the problem. Social fear, to the point where my mind doesn't even work the same way it works when I'm alone. I'll leave a social situation and be like "fukk man, that's not even me. I'm quiet but I literally couldn't think of fukking anything to say right there..." It's easy for people who don't feel this to be like "shut up cac p*ssy man up start a conversation" rah rah. But they don't know, and they won't. I thought after high school this would gradually get better as I matured and came into my own, but I'm 25 now and I get gradually more depressed as time goes on. Not seeking pity, I'm just being real like a lot of you are in this thread.

One day...

 

[mannyrs13]

If you saw me at work, you would think I'm an extrovert. I work retail so maybe that has an effect. I'm more open with customers, gotta be of course. I'm talking with every employee, joking with the females, talking loud in the aisles. Funny that Hispanics are usually loud and I'm mostly like that just at work. Hate working there for certain reasons but I'm more introverted.

 

[360dagod]

sometimes we get so caught up in our thoughts, we actually show it in our faces...

We can literally be walking down the block with the face and not even know.lol