"Black athletes get with white women cause white woman play the long game more than black women"

[FeverPitch2]

 

[im_sleep]

Do white people have these public ass debates and dissertations about dating us?

 

[voltronblack]

Do white people have these public ass debates and dissertations about dating us?

No instead they are doing things like this

A group of 5-10 white men, organized and fundraised with 800 people, to mobilize a vote of 17,421 people to breakaway and create a new city in my home town.

People often ask me why I’m so direct about race. It’s in my face everyday how clear some in our city think about Black people and leadership. Baton Rouge is only on its 2nd Black mayor in its 200 year history. So historic neglect by previous leaders created a tale of two cities. I’ve been saying it for over a decade. Now it’s here.

One day these videos I make will start getting you to ask why aren’t you doing more? These white men all over 50 just organized an effort that will impact us for the next 200 years. And if more people had showed up, if more people had organized, we wouldn’t be here.

To my folks in Atlanta. Take notice. Buckhead and what they attempted to do a few years ago, trust they are taking note. I hope you are too.

There are people in this country who will do everything in their power not to be under Black leadership. Let’s be clear, what’s wrong with America wasn’t created by Black people. What’s wrong in Louisiana is inequity that breeds all the social ills including crime.

I want to be very clear, they drew the line in the sand when they created a new city. So I intend to be lending my voice to make sure we protect every investment for the citizens of Baton Rouge. We’ve built the South Side, and they packed up their toys. Now, it’s time for Baton Rouge to do what is in the best interest of Baton Rouge.

This is and has always been a war for resources for them, we need to do whatever is in our power to protect our resources as a city. There is no room to compromise with people who have literally divided this community, to make a 70% white city.

All the people who say, they couldn’t put up with what people put up with in the 1960’s. You’re on the clock, we in the field working at this change. You can join us whenever you realize these types of people are after your kids resources everyday. You’re paying into the system it’s about time we fully take control of some things and show folks what to do with power.

Yall gone hear me one day…

 

[Illuminatos]

Just that since most bw don't have fathers. They don't have anyone guiding them when finding a mate.

Lmao wtf?

 

[mag357]

Lmao wtf?

You think I be proof reading this crap lol

I'm only here in spirit bruh

 

[Dillah810]

This picture will never not be funny

She hit him with the Ray Liotta in Goodfellas laugh

 

[Ozymandeas]

If you have older Black men who are full/majority providers who ALL got married BEFORE having kids and MAJORITY have graduate degrees and they want you with the same caliber of man, YES, THEY WILL COACH THIS PLAY.

We’re talking about lifestyle, socioeconomic class, etc. That Trumps race if you acknowledge that the women in your family will have a harder time finding that within your group.

If a Chinese-American dude who is in your 27 YO daughter’s MBA program wants to seriously court her, while majority of the brehs she encounters don’t have the same earning potential, are playing the field, juggling various women, etc because they are the special, exceptional breh, what are you going to tell her? Naw, don’t give the Asian guy a chance? Give it a few more years and wait for a breh? Lol

I'm cool with it. You gotta be happy at the end of the day.

Black women just gotta tell their sisters/cousins/friends to stop tripping if a BM chooses to date the that Chinese American woman thats in his MBA program. You can't be wanting people to be cool with yall doing yall thing but, then call BM sellouts. Don't be drooling over Travis Kelce one week then telling us we don't love our mama the next week.

Outside of that. Enjoy your life

 

[Gloxina]

I'm cool with it. You gotta be happy at the end of the day.

Black women just gotta tell their sisters/cousins/friends to stop tripping if a BM chooses to date the that Chinese American woman thats in his MBA program. You can't be wanting people to be cool with yall doing yall thing but, then call BM sellouts. Don't be drooling over Travis Kelce one week then telling us we don't love our mama the next week.

Outside of that. Enjoy your life

I feel you, but it feels almost disingenuous when some of y’all say that because you are ignoring the fact that when you get to those spaces if the Black men all choose a Black woman, there will still be Black women on the sidelines lol
That’s the point. If a successful breh wants a Black woman he can get one with ease.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

Black athletes get with white women cause that’s who they go to college with.

It’s that simple.

People usually end up with the people they are around the most.

 

[Gloxina]

Hold on: we just rehashing convos that have already been had on this site years ago?!

Glad to see I’m on the same page as the brehettes who tried to explain this conundrum from our POV. Like we’ve been saying: the old folks misguided the younger Black women. White girls have a different playbook.

Could it be that some bw genuinely don’t know? I have a few friends that were raised in single parent households. They don’t know what husband material is, or how it’s a way to build wealth. Bw aren’t taught the same things by their mothers and fathers that other groups are taught. From my experience that contributes to the differences too. For instance my mom and dad never once had a talk with me about the importance of marriage, seeking a husband, etc. I was told I need to be strong, love myself, go to school, and put myself in a position where I can take care of myself. I was told I would have to work harder than ww and others, too. In fact they discouraged me from dating, and getting too serious, telling me to focus on education, career, etc. I grew up in a white area so I noticed this was a difference. White parents loved when their kids got in relationships and encouraged them. White women were taught to look for husbands in college. And wm were told to marry Kaitlyn, etc.

I do think your right that there are some bw that are very superficial. Focusing on things that aren’t as important as others, a black female matchmaker even stated as much. I did read a study a while ago that stated that a lot of educated bm and bw get married later, so I think that’s something else to consider.

I agree with everything you stated here. Many Black women just don't know any better. By the time they figure it out, they are at a clear disadvantage in the dating marketplace.

Similarly, a lot of Black men aren't taught to value marriage and to see it as a wealth-building vehicle.

Ultimately, Black men and Black women lose by not settling down earlier. We miss out on a lot of opportunities to build wealth waiting to get married in our late 30s.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise. Black women vastly outnumber us. And there’s others factors. I’ve seen it firsthand with my own family members. A lot of them have been single for years. But when you think about all the black men who die each year, get locked up, are gay, or simply not available it adds up. Most black men who are relationship material and WANT to be in a relationship are taken. I see this in my own circle. Everybody whose worth a damn is in a relationship or has more women on the roster than they can handle

I only know and date black women so I can only talk on that..

why so many single

1. black women out numbered black men almost 2 to 1.... then u add the fact many brothers are in jail, dead or gay then your success of finding a brother lowers

2. black men with shyt going for them have options...I read black men with shyt going on for them have 1 to 6 advantage over Black women when it comes to dating... why settle down with just one, which is why so many sisters are single

3. many Black women (NOT ALL MOTHERfukkERS) in their 20s are so busy chasing the wrong dudes and not looking for mr responsible, honest, faithful and hardworking James cause right now that’s not exciting and they want what every other chick in they circle want a pretty motherfukker who look like Boris Kodjoe or playboy Eddie .. but that dude will not settle down with them and u just a nut and a baby holder and nothing more to them ... then these women are now in their 30s and 40s mad at black men and the world cause they single but don’t look in the mirror and realized u the one who picked the wrong route(nikka) while Pamela, Tasha picked the right brother from the start and living good with a family

Black women make up 52% of the black population. When you add in some of the factors I already mentioned it ain’t hard to figure out why so many are single

Yup. This is gospel. When I came out of college, I was struggling so badly financially, I planned to get married by my mid 20s. Because it made more sense financially to have cohabit and have stability.

Now that I’m older and established, it has changed my whole landscape of dating. I’m in that sweet spot where women from their early 20s to late 30s see me as a catch for different reasons.

When you’re broke, you feel compelled to grab anything you can. When you do well for yourself, the options are so vast, it would be silly to settle down so soon when time is on our side.

I can’t see myself even contemplating marriage until I reach my late 30s (a long way off). I’ll probably wife a woman in her mid to late 20s who’s baggage free by that time.

Black women need to switch it up and choose when younger, but even when you do you still have to contend with the fact that a good number of the men you’re choosing from already know they have the upper hand and will wait it out until they are much older. Like I said previously, by the time some of y’all want to get married, white dudes are on their second wife LOL

Lots of backwards behavior in our community on both ends and it ain’t changing fast enough.

Gen Z and A will learn from the fallout lol


On that note I’m off to my gym class and going back to bed

 

[GreenGhxst]

Who knew I would grow up to dislike the star of drumline

Used have that movie on repeat, and now anytime I run across this smart dumb nikka I get a migraine

 

[High Art]

You are exactly right, which is why I asked this question before: everyone goes in on young Black women, but how come no one puts these iPhones and cameras in the faces of 50YO women asking them what they taught their daughters?!

White and Asian women put their girls up on game from a YOUNG age. White fathers too, for real. They don’t want their daughters bringing home someone broke lol

Black families aren’t teaching their daughters these things.

I actually agree with this explanation but the problem and I think more people,especially dudes, would be willing to accept this and act on this except we treat many similar explanations regarding issues facing black men as "excuses" and so on. We wholesale reject the notion of outside forces acting on black men and see them as accepting the victim role. This way of thinking is pervasive and much of the push-back you see on issues affecting black women actually has some root in this. When we get out of this way of thinking, then we will start to see some progress because we will be actually addressing the actual causes of the problems.

Yeah I'm sure this is the answer. None of these athletes are color struck. No way.

When they get cut at training camp and Becky bounces it's all tears. Seen it a dozen times.

What self respecting man wants a woman that sees him as an investment rather than partner anyway?

On one hand, I agree. On the other, I see black people, on this board and even in the media, who speak about marriage and so on from the perspective of viewing it purely in economic terms and nothing more. We all saw the fuss EBoni K. Williams made in refusing to date a bus driver (then for no reason, attacking black men in all of that). We saw a black woman on the view be the only one seemingly bushing the concept of love in favor of economic issues. Whether one agrees with them or not, in the black community, a black man can't be separated from his economic value.

 

[Chrishaune]

No instead they are doing things like this

All they have to do is make them pay for city services. Police/utilities/garbage/hospital......all of the rest.
They want to be their own city, make them pay the full cost for their own services.
They will hate that.

 

[Gloxina]

No instead they are doing things like this

“This is and has always been a war for resources for them, we need to do whatever is in our power to protect our resources as a city”

^^^
MESSAGE MESSAGE MESSAGE



I’ve said it a dozen times. Cacs, hell- everyone, is playing for resources. This planet is a game of resources and your TEAM is you SKIN COLOR.

 

[DrBanneker]

And I totally, totally feel you.
Like I said, I have men of similar caliber in my family who only date/marry Black.
And they have their pick of women.
LITERALLY.
For every one Black woman they decide to be with, there were about 5 other educated, classy Black women who were in the mix that they just decided weren’t right for them. One of my aunts even said “for every one of them there are like 19 of you” while shaking her head. You know why? Because she’s watching her son run through a dozen Black female attorneys, MBAs, etc. She doesn’t like it and tells him so, but the imbalance is so great that he has too many options and wants to explore.

Sooooooooo all those women are supposed to…? Wha? Keep hope alive?

My point is, if every successful breh did, in fact, pick a Black woman, there would still be Black women left over, ALONE.

That’s my point. If all of y’all picked one of us there would still be women left over.
So those women, who put in the work to be in (or were born in) a particular class, subset, whatever- they are the ones who are supposed to put that aside and put Black first no matter what. They’re going to turn into “left over women (hi Japan)” simply because they’re waiting. That’s why ppl laugh at those “overly educated Black women who can’t find a man”. If thooooose women just said “well, let me open my options” they might, in fact, get married.

I definitely understand that we need to be intentional about choosing Black partners— that’s how it is with 99.9% of my fam and friends, but what happens when that intention has you running out the clock?

What folks aren’t acknowledging is that WE are on a clock. You could be a 40YO successful Black man and potentially pick a younger partner of any race simply because of what she knows you can provide. Doesn’t work the same for us.
So if all those college-aged Black women are being intentional, and they are encountering young men who want to play the field because the numbers are in their favor, dabble with girls of other races because those girls are throwing it at them, or just don’t feel like being serious because they know they have time…what happens when these Black girls get closer to “aging out”?

I’m really only talking about a small segment of our population. If all the “talented tenth” brehs picked a Black woman, the women who are their equivalent…they’d all be paired off with a breh, or some would be left on the sidelines?
We both know the answer. So what do THOSE women do?

This is a beautiful concept in 'theory' and I understand your sentiment, but it's not realistic in modern times. It's wayy to late and black people have not been on the same page as far as families, relationships, marriage etc in decades. It's a wrap...

Good post. It seems as though Black men due to ego and pride just want those women to wait on the sidelines or date/marry down vs aiming higher and opening up their options. With that mindset they don’t want what's best for Black women. It's a selfish mindset..

I feel you, but it feels almost disingenuous when some of y’all say that because you are ignoring the fact that when you get to those spaces if the Black men all choose a Black woman, there will still be Black women on the sidelines lol
That’s the point. If a successful breh wants a Black woman he can get one with ease.

I was tired and getting too verbose in the last post. I just want to leave this point to clarify my problems with some of the distinctions raised.

1. The assumption that highly Black women are unique in "marrying down" in marriage
2. The assumption that dating out liberates Black women and leads to a huge advantage in marrying an educational peer
3. Why "dating down" needs to be tightly defined since it can greatly increase the marriage pool of Black men for highly educated Black women

The one thing we do agree on is marriage is way less common in our community than it needs to be.

So let's hit #1, the idea that Black women are unique in being forced to date down to find a spouse. First, while it is true college educated women Black women are more likely to marry a less educated spouse (58% of those that get married), almost half of White women (48%) do the same thing. In fact, the gap is only about 10%. So let's not act like women of other races only have choices of their level or higher in getting married.

The big problem, again, is people getting married not who they are "forced" to marry. How we close the 20% "never married" gap is far more important than arguing about the percent marrying a lower level of education in my opinion.

Second, it is going to get far worse, faster, for White women as far as the education gap.

Looking only at the youngest graduates (ages 25-29) the educational gap in bachelor degree or higher holders for Black women and men was 9% in 2000. It is 8% now. In other words, it stabilized. Over that same period for White women the gap (which existed then) went from 3% to 11% now (link). The gap for White women with a Master's degree or higher is now 8% compared to 5% for Black women. Young white women now have a higher education gap in percentage terms than young Black women. Granted in some fields like law, White men and women are at parity but the educational gap is not just a thing for Black women anymore. A lot of White women are having that early 2000s discussion Black women did on finding an equally educated mate.

This is also a big deal since the competition for highly credentialed White men is probably going to get heavy. I have no problem with sisters dating/marrying White but the idea that there is this surplus of credentialed White dudes running around is no longer true. Sure there are a lot numerically but it is a pool that you are now competing for with educated White women, educated Hispanic women, and educated Asian women who are now ALL seeing educational gender gaps in their communities. It will work out for some brehettes but I think it is false advertising to act like Black women being "open" is going to lead to them all getting White, Asian, or Latino doctor/lawyer husbands. Those dudes are dealing with their own surplus of chicks now too.

I am not demanding sisters stay single rather than dating out, I just emphasizing swirling is not the magic answer everyone claims it is.


Moving on...

#2 - there is an unquestioned assumption that Black women with high credentials who marry out invariably have a lot better success in finding an equally credentialed mate. There is an advantage, but it is not as big as some imagine it to be.

Namely, Black women in aggregate, even those with professional degrees, marry White men similar to the Black men they marry. I discussed this in this thread almost a year ago:

https://www.thecoli.com/threads/spin-educated-black-women-largely-end-up-with-the-same-kind-of-men-black-or-white.974936/

​	Black Father​	White Father​	Gap​
8th grade or less​	0.1%​	0.0%​	-0.1%​
9th through 12th grade with no diploma​	0.5%​	0.3%​	-0.2%​
High school graduate or GED completed​	5.8%​	4.0%​	-1.8%​
Some college credit, but not a degree​	10.3%​	7.3%​	-3.0%​
Associate degree (AA, AS)​	5.8%​	4.5%​	-1.3%​
Bachelor's degree (BA, AB, BS)​	29.0%​	30.0%​	1.0%​
Master's degree (MA, MS, MEng, MEd, MSW, MBA)​	25.8%​	22.9%​	-2.9%​
Doctorate (PhD, EdD) or Professional Degree (MD, DDS, DVM, LLB, JD)​	22.4%​	30.5%​	8.1%​

For Black women with Professional degrees (Phd, EdD, MD, law, etc.) there are stats in the national birth records database at CDC Wonder. In short, mothers who give birth have the option of listing the husband's race and education on the birth questionnaire. For Black women who gave birth in the last 5 years with professional degrees, below is the distribution of education for when Black men or White men were the fathers.
So there is a small advantage at the highest end of the spectrum (8% more have kids with a peer education wise) but still, while 77% of Black women with a professional degree get with a less educated Black man, professional Black women with professional degrees who get with White men get with one with less education 70% of the time as well. And yes, 16% of Black women with professional degrees get with White men with less than a bachelor's degree. Not hugely different from the 22% that do the same for Black men. 77% of the Black men they get with have at least a bachelor's degree while the same number is 83% for White men.

So I want to stop this idea that professional Black women who aren't marrying a peer Black man are choosing between marrying Charles Dutton on Roc (garbage man) or a White peer if they just had the "courage" to date out. In aggregate the men they end up with aren't hugely different. It is only a huge deal in areas where there are few Blacks or there really isn't a Black middle class so there are no choices.

Now if your argument is "they just want to get married" then the question becomes why marrying down White is not seen with the same disdain as marrying down Black. That's another thread though.

So that leaves, #3, what "dating down" really means?

In this table the relative percent of young populations (age 25-29) by highest education are given. The numbers vary year to year but for the last 5 years, the average is 7.3% of Black women have a master's or higher and 3.4% of Black men have one. So the gap is about 4% (5% in the other educational gap table in #1). So even if all those Black men got with those Black women the extra 4% gap would have to date the local handy man or date out, right?

But to be honest, unless you are the top 0.1%, the professional degree class isn't your only option. The top percent of those with bachelor's degrees only are usually elite as well have some pretty highly paid engineers, accountants, RNs, and a lot of other stuff. About 24% of Black men have at least a bachelor's degree. Subtracting those that have a master's degree or higher, you get about 20% of Black men.

If professional Black women decided that they would only date Black men in the top 10% of college grads, the gap is cut in half. If the top 20% are ok, the gap goes away.

For context, the top 10% of Black men who only have a bachelor's degree make about the same as the top 10% of Black women with professional degrees (see here). About $125k+ (see ninth decile number). The Black college-only grads in the top 25% (third quartile) are making at least $94k. Granted this number is for all Black men and women over 25 so is probably inflated by older people, but the ratios are probably not too far off.

So if professional Black women with higher degrees decided they were fine with top-tier Black men with college degrees but no professional degrees that made close to six figures or more they could eliminate the gap by dating top tier Black male college grads. Now granted, without a college degree your earnings peak later so peers in earnings without a professional degree may be a few years older (and hopefully more mature) but I think this whole narrative that its a few six figure professional brehs and then the blue collar handymen isn't true.

That whole Eboni Williams bus driver argument was dumb IMHO. Telling Black women to date WAY WAY DOWN is more red meat for the manosphere types than an actual helpful argument. They should have just asked her if she would date a Black CPA and THAT would have put her back to the wall.

Ok I'm done