Black Therapists talks about her patients and accountability.

[FTBS]

Eh, that's a generalization though. My girl changed therapists precisely because her old one wasn't challenging her. Wasn't putting forth any new perspectives. I generally think therapy is a positive thing especially for black people. But we have to be honest about our insecurities and take accountability for our actions.

Men are taught to stand on their own two for almost their entire lives. Young girls are more so taught to be delicate and deserve to be protected (which is fine). But the unforeseen result of that is they turn into people who will always have some external buffer to push blame/negativity onto...weather that's their parents or a boyfriend/husband or their children.

This is why it's important to teach your boy and girls the same lessons. If you're teaching your boys how to change a tire teach your daughters too. If you're teaching your daughters how to cook, teach your sons too. Conflict resolution outside of physicaly fighting should be taught the same as well. Eliminating gendered responsibility helps with accountability in my viewpoint.

Something as seemingly innocuous as "dont hit girls". You are teaching the boy that he has to tolerate disrepect or even hitting from girls. You are teaching the little girl that she can just disrespect or put her hands on people when she feels like it.

This isnt a pro DV post either. Guys should not hit women in the overwhelming majority of instances. Women shouldnt talk crazy to men or put their hands on them either.

As far as accountability nobody likes it but everybody needs it. I would say that men often get forced to be accountable unless they are born rich or with special athletic abilities. Whereas the same patriarchal priniples that stiffled women also allow them to shirk responsibility and play victim. Also women are taught how to and allowed to communicate better than men generally. This can be weaponized in a dispute. The person that can talk that shyt thr best can often overpower a less skilled communicator even if the less skilled person right.

 

[Pazzy]

Hippa doesnt apply here?

Yall giving this social media shyt too much power. Folks thinking they know so much listening to random people on twitter.

 

[Kenny West]

Hippa doesnt apply here?

Yall giving this social media shyt too much power. Folks thinking they know so much listening to random people on twitter.

This nikka said HIPPA. A HIPPA violation would be going as far as doxxing someone. She spoke very generally with "women" and didn't even specify things like race etc.

 

[Bless't]

Eh, that's a generalization though. My girl changed therapists precisely because her old one wasn't challenging her. Wasn't putting forth any new perspectives. I generally think therapy is a positive thing especially for black people. But we have to be honest about our insecurities and take accountability for our actions.

Men are taught to stand on their own two for almost their entire lives. Young girls are more so taught to be delicate and deserve to be protected (which is fine). But the unforeseen result of that is they turn into people who will always have some external buffer to push blame/negativity onto...weather that's their parents or a boyfriend/husband or their children.

This is why it's important to teach your boy and girls the same lessons. If you're teaching your boys how to change a tire teach your daughters too. If you're teaching your daughters how to cook, teach your sons too. Conflict resolution outside of physicaly fighting should be taught the same as well. Eliminating gendered responsibility helps with accountability in my viewpoint.

 

[Rekkapryde]

Will be an interesting thread. The obvious question: why are we quick to accept generalized statements from therapists when we agree, but throw a fit when we disagree? I don't support this anymore than the weird shyt that has been said about black male patients. I don't want to hear medical professionals discussing anecdotal evidence. It's unprofessional.

A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y is kryptonite to so many, especially women.

 

[Lexington Steele]

They don't want input or someone to help them with a solution.

Imagine you're giving your homie specific advice about his specific problem he told you about and he goes "Dog, I just want you to validate my feelings."

 

[mag357]

Imagine you're giving your homie specific advice about his specific problem he told you about and he goes "Dog, I just want you to validate my feelings."

nikka, I would put hands on that man

 

[Lexington Steele]

nikka, I would put hands on that man

I would be out like Uncle Phil in the "We? Muahahahaha!" scene.

 

[ViShawn]

This right here says a lot


This woman told a damn lie saying this man was SA his daughters

She went far with it

And for years this man had to deal with it


And when she FINALLY said it was a lie



She said “why didn’t you fight harder for your children?”


I’m like you the damn devil


Anything not to say your wrong




Kirk Franklin lying ass mom

Kerry Washington lying ass mom



It’s wild like I say there is no fear of consequences


That’s why they do it

I've said it several times that society tends to infantalize women. It's pathetic and dangerous

 

[Still Benefited]

If you let your woman get away with not have accountability, it's your fault. Stop letting bytches get away with shyt.

Thats a universal law#TheChildOfMan.

I've said it several times that society tends to infantalize women. It's pathetic and dangerous

Its nature,meaning we cant blame the women.

If you leave a child to their own devices,no timeouts,no discipline. Obviously that child will be a brat,have no accountability and be a habitual line stepper in most cases. Of course you will have rare cases where a child raises themselves,and still manage to be productive citizens

 

[TheGreatMTB]

I think a lot of women are conditioned to feel like they're never at fault for relationships.

The overwhelming number of stories (tv shows, books, etc.) where a relationship encounters turbulence depict the man as being the cause of it. Too prideful, too insensitive, etc.

Even amongst men, older dudes will often tell younger ones 'there's no way to win an argument with a woman, so you might as well take the fault. Even if you win she'll throw a tantrum and you'll lose.' Which is terrible advice. It's a defeatist attitude and just encourages the problem to persist. While she's actively harming your relationship, you let her bounce around thinking she's the only puritan within it.

So it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of women go into couples therapy expecting their husband/boyfriend to be the only one persecuted. We typically view women as being moral angels compared to men. (Even though that's not true.)


I've interacted with plenty of women who aren't like that...but I truly believe it requires a level of self-reflection and awareness most people don't bother to acquire in their lives for those women to be that way. Like the therapist said, emotional maturity...which is lacking in a lot of people on both sides. The difference is, a lot of people just assume women have that maturity (which they don't a lot of times) and don't give that same assumptive grace to men (which is probably accurate)