Brehs who split bills 50/50 but expect submission, why?

[Justin Nitsuj]

Crazy how this thread exists when a lot of clowns call other men simps for taking care of their women.

The mothafukkin irony.

 

[Ozymandeas]

I don’t agree or disagree but let’s follow along with this logic. Since we’re going 50-50 and gender roles are out the window…does that mean she’s going to change the tires, wash the car and check out weird noises around the house at night? Because I’m scared too

 

[Ozymandeas]

1. Because some black men have seen some black women have no problem looking after, funding and housing the bums and worst type of men of our community in exchange for d.

So if that type of breh is getting full cooperation and doesn’t have to provide anything other than his dikk another breh will see that and think “I shouldn’t have to pay all the bills for your cooperation”.

2. Because “50/50” is only a dirty word for one group of women… black women. Cac women and Asian women have no problem sharing the bills and still following their men at the same time if they know their money is being pooled to acquire eventual wealth.

Black women call it “struggle love” or “being a roommate” etc other women call it “getting up the ladder and acquiring wealth faster”

Which is why…………………

 

[Buzzed Lightyear]

I don’t know why men have a hard time understanding this. It’s really that simple. Your dad sounds like an old school man’s man.

This is exactly correct. I'm not about to submit to a fukking roommate. Because at 50/50, that's what we are. I don't need a man to take care of me, but if you're asking for half the rent, you'll be getting half of me. I was raised by a father who made sure our home was taken care of so that's all I know. My mom was never a housewife, she had her own, but when my dad put his foot down, there were no complaints because we never wanted for shyt and that was because of him.

Since everybody is all of a sudden wanting traditional marriages, don't stop at the man paying all the bills. Let's talk about the wedding. Ya'll know who's supposed to pay for that? The bride's dad! So if the bride wants an elegant wedding, he better be able to afford it or you tell his indigent ass that he's not a real man & it's giving broke vibes.

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

In my humble experience the women that have a problem going half on shyt are usually not coming from a financially stable background.

A lot of men are still unable to identify that they are dating women from the wrong social class because they don't get women for anything more than looks.

So OP you are only half right. The demographic that thinks a man's wallet is an extension of his masculinity is not the one you should be aiming for unless you have no issues with being a sponsor. Your relationship dynamic is your choice.

That same person expecting a man's wallet to play into traditional gender roles established when one income could raise a family will have an issue with being expected to cook and clean in return. Let's all make life easier by locking in with people that share our values and stop trying to make generalized statements about what all relationships should look like cuz it's not reality. It's a lot of women out earning men out here for starters. Don't let a fragile ego keep you from eating as a man cuz you need to lead your girl with your wallet.

 

[Bumblebreh]

Another coli myth debunked in real time. This is far from the truth.

When you taking care of the bills, most women are able to feel secure enough to let their submissive side out. A lot of women have had to witness their mothers be the man of the house. That forces them to suppress their submissive ways.

When she feels physically and financially protected she’ll submit.

But there is a difference between a woman who is willing to her feminine duties and a woman who is a desperate doormat. Submissive is the wrong word, and the funny thing is that how can you expect for a woman to "submit" if you cannot fulfil the traditional roles?A dog is submissive, but a dog will not submit to you if you cannot provide its basic needs. Men do respect women that are doormats.

Should every man that is in a relationship be required to pay for every single bill, no. But you cannot expect a woman to work full time,carry a child and cater to your every needs.

 

[Amerikan Melanin]

Choose wisely

 

[SleezyBigSlim]

Another coli myth debunked in real time. This is far from the truth.

When you taking care of the bills, most women are able to feel secure enough to let their submissive side out. A lot of women have had to witness their mothers be the man of the house. That forces them to suppress their submissive ways.

When she feels physically and financially protected she’ll submit.

Absolutely, the mans ability to provide is what enables her to be submissive.

 

[Gloxina]

This rule is only for you

The rest of us can make a living picking tomatos, selling vacuum cleaners, or construction and STILL get submission. It's not conditional for the rest of us.

I've seen women be the bread winner and still submit.

If it's conditional then she's a controling low life female dog

As have I. Most of us have. The thing is, it’s actually pretty demoralizing as a woman to be in this position, but women who still love/respect you won’t say it to your face until about year 40,50 of the marriage. I’ve seen that, too. And I’ve had guys admit that their fathers should’ve stepped up and were wrong for making their mother shoulder most of the finances. Especially when you can look around and see other men who are handling business.

It’s actually embarrassing as a woman to be out in the world bringing significantly more $ home unless your hubby is actually disabled or something.
The difference is old school women are taught not to hurt a man’s ego and say this stuff to his face. Also out of fear he’ll retaliate in some way. I’ve seen these examples in my family too, and all the women in those marriages tell the younger women to aim for a man who can take care of them so they don’t end up having to take care of a man.

Mothers and grandmothers might not tell their sons how they really feel, but they will tell their daughters and nieces.

That’s partially why some women are holding out today. They heard stories of moms, aunts, etc working full time, taking care of home, and still possibly being cheated on, left for a younger woman, etc. No one is trying to go through relationship drama that will occur to at least half of us while working FT and doing everything around the house.

In short- the sexes don’t trust each other and we really need to have serious discussions about expectations, treatment, longterm goals, etc as a community and as couples.

 

[Gloxina]

In my humble experience the women that have a problem going half on shyt are usually not coming from a financially stable background.

A lot of men are still unable to identify that they are dating women from the wrong social class because they don't get women for anything more than looks.

So OP you are only half right. The demographic that thinks a man's wallet is an extension of his masculinity is not the one you should be aiming for unless you have no issues with being a sponsor. Your relationship dynamic is your choice.

That same person expecting a man's wallet to play into traditional gender roles established when one income could raise a family will have an issue with being expected to cook and clean in return. Let's all make life easier by locking in with people that share our values and stop trying to make generalized statements about what all relationships should look like cuz it's not reality. It's a lot of women out earning men out here for starters. Don't let a fragile ego keep you from eating as a man cuz you need to lead your girl with your wallet.

Well, this is what’s weird. The loudest voices on the internet are mocking women who are making an effort to be educated and get their finances in order. Yea, we shouldn’t lead with $, because that’s not what’s most valued about women, but you have men out here ignoring the women who want to contribute for the chicks who put full effort into their looks and stop there.

 

[Digital Shaman]

I think the bigger picture is missed everytime this issue is brought up.

 

[Contrefaire]

Shes either submissive or not. A non submissive female won't suddenly become submissive with 100% of the bills paid.

If you're with a woman who has to work full time and split the bills what the fukk is there for her to submit to!? Like seriously why the fukk should she be submissive!?

 

[Phitz]

As have I. Most of us have. The thing is, it’s actually pretty demoralizing as a woman to be in this position, but women who still love/respect you won’t say it to your face until about year 40,50 of the marriage. I’ve seen that, too. And I’ve had guys admit that their fathers should’ve stepped up and were wrong for making their mother shoulder most of the finances. Especially when you can look around and see other men who are handling business.

It’s actually embarrassing as a woman to be out in the world bringing significantly more $ home unless your hubby is actually disabled or something.
The difference is old school women are taught not to hurt a man’s ego and say this stuff to his face. Also out of fear he’ll retaliate in some way. I’ve seen these examples in my family too, and all the women in those marriages tell the younger women to aim for a man who can take care of them so they don’t end up having to take care of a man.

Mothers and grandmothers might not tell their sons how they really feel, but they will tell their daughters and nieces.

That’s partially why some women are holding out today. They heard stories of moms, aunts, etc working full time, taking care of home, and still possibly being cheated on, left for a younger woman, etc. No one is trying to go through relationship drama that will occur to at least half of us while working FT and doing everything around the house.

In short- the sexes don’t trust each other and we really need to have serious discussions about expectations, treatment, longterm goals, etc as a community and as couples.

I know this is your experience, and I'm not invalidating it, but this is the woman's role period.

Just as I told him the rule is only for him, your scenario and belief is only for you. I know women personally that just loved the guy. A friend left his fiance were having non-financial issues at one point and she was begging for him back, she told me from her mouth that she just wanted him back, she makes alot of money, much more than him, and he could work his job for the next 20 years she didn't care she just wanted him back.

I know a couple where the woman is an actual surgeon who makes way more money than her husband, and he is accomplished in the military, and retired early but does not make nearly as much as her. They could be pretending, but they seem very happy and have been together a very long time, and travel together alot when they're both free.

If her happiness is based on his financials(or even her own) then she has a problem. As long as your expenses are covered, and you are all healthy there should be no issue. If you're blessed with more, then great. If you have a man that has done his absolute best(we can tell in our relationships when somebody is pulling their weight and trying their best) and your happiness is based on his accomplishments, then you dont need to be with anyone because you will never be happy, as happiness is internal.

 

[Phitz]

Furthermore if she wants help doing domestic work because shes tired and/or because you make less, that mean's she will help doing outside work, everything involved with auto maintenance, plumbing, cutting grass, wash/clean the car etc. I do my own auto maintenance, minor sink and toilet repairs, computer repair etc. I also do hers. I dont help her in the kitchen.

Dont be scammed into doing everything. If you're looking after her car and home maintenence, machine issues, or any other handy work, she has no business asking you to help her do anything in the kitchen, whether she's tired after work or not.

 

[High Art]

I've always assumed most guys (myself included) really want cooperativeness rather than slavish submission. Amusingly, cooperativeness itself requires a level of submission to an ideal that calls for a level of sacrifice for a greater good from both parties. Putting a price tag on submission or cooperativeness while ignoring other things is where some people get tripped up.