BW: Black Men Can’t Afford To Have Wives Because They Take Care Of Their Broke Single Mothers

[mag357]

You didn't ask to be born bruh, its good thing to do, at the same time this mindset as to where you just owe someone for the rest of your natural life cause they decided to have you is nonsense...

But in the black community alot of us don't really hold are mothers accountable for a thing they give her passes no one else gets even when she don't deserve it.

It's almost like u guys cant be black... and I'm not saying that to be disrespectful...
I mean it like... had the fukking typical black experience...
Mother ain't have shyt... but somehow kept the lights on... made sure u at least had alil food... pops had to deal with racism but still taught u life lessons and how to stand strong...
But u muthafukaz in here talking bout "u shouldn't feel like u owe somebody something for having u"...
What in the holy fukk...
Dawg, it should be an honor to give back to ur parents... ur a king when u can put them in a comfortable position...
Like the honor it gives u to have ur wife out here lookin nice, and ur kids in a good school... it should be a bigger honor having ur parents living good.
But damn, I guess not everybody feels the same way

 

[Ziggiy]

I’d say it depends.

For ME The rule of thumb is take care of your mother/father, throw your siblings a little something something, and after that cut the fukking deck.

 

[Amused Mastery]

It's almost like u guys cant be black... and I'm not saying that to be disrespectful...
I mean it like... had the fukking typical black experience...
Mother ain't have shyt... but somehow kept the lights on... made sure u at least had alil food... pops had to deal with racism but still taught u life lessons and how to stand strong...
But u muthafukaz in here talking bout "u shouldn't feel like u owe somebody something for having u"...
What in the holy fukk...
Dawg, it should be an honor to give back to ur parents... ur a king when u can put them in a comfortable position...
Like the honor it gives u to have ur wife out here lookin nice, and ur kids in a good school... it should be a bigger honor having ur parents living good.
But damn, I guess not everybody feels the same way

There's a difference between voluntarily helping your parents out and them using you as an ATM to cover for poor financial decisions.

 

[Reece]

I kind of get what meek is saying.

He's probably tired of being used for money and tired of people only hitting him up when they need something.

I guarantee you he probably started out helping everybody. Then shyt went sour when the handouts stopped. He raps about it all the time.

Rich folks get tired of being the family piggybank. Some folks like 2chainz are okay with it and I salute him. But I'm also cool with Meeks point.

And while some are saying "put them in a position to make money" reality is. Some just don't want to work for it they figure if you made it, they made it. And in the cass of rappers and athletes, they have no clue how to do anything but their craft which is why they end up broke so they really cant even teach anything despite being rich

But the handout thing is why a lot of rich people in this country are "secretly wealthy" living mundane lives on the surface but taking first class vacations that never see Instagram







I wish my mother would be smarter with her money but I can already see I'll be providing for her as she gets older. I came to terms with that early in life gotta do it for Mom dukes

Basically. My mom basically “retired” (i.e. stopped working) after I graduated college It bothered me at first just to see how horrific her finances were and how she had basically nothing saved but she looked out for us growing up so I can bear the burden now. I promised my brother I would look out for her and that’s what I’m gone do.

 

[OliviaTwist]

It's almost like u guys cant be black... and I'm not saying that to be disrespectful...
I mean it like... had the fukking typical black experience...
Mother ain't have shyt... but somehow kept the lights on... made sure u at least had alil food... pops had to deal with racism but still taught u life lessons and how to stand strong...
But u muthafukaz in here talking bout "u shouldn't feel like u owe somebody something for having u"...
What in the holy fukk...
Dawg, it should be an honor to give back to ur parents... ur a king when u can put them in a comfortable position...
Like the honor it gives u to have ur wife out here lookin nice, and ur kids in a good school... it should be a bigger honor having ur parents living good.
But damn, I guess not everybody feels the same way

Nobody is saying to wheel big mama and them into a nursing home the first chance you get when you get some money, and most adults have no problem taking care of parents once they reach retirement age. There is a very broad line between being a selfish, cheap b*stard and being financially smart.

What we are saying is that SOMETIMES parents and family members can be predatory leeches also who try and guilt trip you into give them tens/hundreds of thousands of dollars. A 19 year old NBA rookie shouldn’t be the financial backbone for his third cousin twice removed because she babysat him a few times back in the day.

 

[mag357]

Nobody is saying to wheel big mama and them into a nursing home the first chance you get when you get some money, and most adults have no problem taking care of parents once they reach retirement age. There is a very broad line between being a selfish, cheap b*stard and being financially smart.

What we are saying is that SOMETIMES parents and family members can be predatory leeches also who try and guilt trip you into give them tens/hundreds of thousands of dollars. A 19 year old NBA rookie shouldn’t be the financial backbone for his third cousin twice removed because she babysat him a few times back in the day.

Cool....
But dont try to group parents and 3rd cousins together in this lol...
The parents have just as much right to that nba contract as their 19 year old son...
By them the house and the cars and they should be good...
That should make u smile as well...
But What did the 3rd cousins put In on this tho, mannnn...probly not much
So they only get what ur heart wants to give them... that's it
U should want ur parents to damn near live as good as you in my opinion...

 

[Nintendough]

Sounds like thot babble

 

[Antwon Mitchell]

SOMETIMES parents and family members can be predatory leeches

Anybody that calls their own mother and father a "leech" sounds like they got some resentment towards them .

 

[KneeGrow.]

Back in the day, the rule of thumb for women to tell how a man would treat them, is to understand the relationship between the man and mother; "how he treats her is how he'll treat you".

I'm not sure if the Tweeter is merely acknowledging a socioeconomic dynamic or critiquing men for taking care of their mothers (regardless of the circumstances; divorce, widow, etc).

If it is the latter, it seems to me like she has a fundamental misunderstanding of relationship dynamics (as it relates to how taking care of a parent impacts a monogamous relationship). Monogamous relationships, at their best, are a partnership. This idea that you (man) are to solely provide materially is antiquated, and ironically leaves women poorly positioned to handle life independently after a relationship dissolves. "Taking care" of your partner probably shouldn't be a precondition to a relationship these days. Taking care of and fulfilling each other is the idea.

All that to say, if you encounter a woman that views your parent as a burden to your relationship; she's probably not someone who should be in a relationship with.

 

[OliviaTwist]

Cool....
But dont try to group parents and 3rd cousins together in this lol...
The parents have just as much right to that nba contract as their 19 year old son...
By them the house and the cars and they should be good...
That should make u smile as well...
But What did the 3rd cousins put In on this tho, mannnn...probly not much
So they only get what ur heart wants to give them... that's it
U should want ur parents to damn near live as good as you in my opinion...

We agree. Most people will always make sure mom and dad are at the very least comfortable. But I remember on another 30 for 30 where an athlete said his parents asked him for $25M because he was 25 years old and he just signed a new contract which in all seriousness is ridiculous. And for some people that third cousin is asking for money. May not be enough for a house (at first) but because “y’all family” and “you got it” that’s where the guilt comes in. Now my family is big so I actually am close to third cousins so I can pinpoint that person and personally I would feel kinda bad saying no. But there has to be a line drawn between being generous and being used.

 

[OliviaTwist]

Anybody that calls their own mother and father a "leech" sounds like they got some resentment towards them .

Or it’s just the truth.

Daddy wasn’t around until RayRay signed that guaranteed contract= leech

Mom has TERRIBLE financial planning but always wants you to fund failing business= leech

You can love them, but if it gets in the way of you providing and financially being responsible then you got to put a stop to it

 

[Lamar Givens]

We can thank the Industrial Revolution for today’s western mentality about family.

Prior to the ID families stayed together because each family member had a vital role to the success and often “livelihood” of the family unit.

Sons and daughters never left home unless they were married off.

So the concept of not taking care of your immediate family was a foreign idea, no matter how poor you were.

Once ID came and sons and daughters left to the “big cities” for work and never returned or outright stop taking care of their family because they now had to survive on their own there was a family dynamic shift that has brought us where we are today with regards to family responsibility.

Traditionally men/sons have always had to carry the greater responsibility of taking care of their immediate families because daughters were responsible to their husbands and their new found in-laws.

 

[Lýba'rhaésheýun]

It's almost like u guys cant be black... and I'm not saying that to be disrespectful...
I mean it like... had the fing typical black experience...
Mother ain't have shyt... but somehow kept the lights on... made sure u at least had a lil food... pops had to deal with racism but still taught u life lessons and how to stand strong...
But u muggafuaz in here talking bout "u shouldn't feel like u owe somebody something for having u"...
What in the holy fu...
Dawg, it should be an honor to give back to ur parents... ur a king when u can put them in a comfortable position...
Like the honor it gives u to have ur wife out here lookin nice, and ur kids in a good school... it should be a bigger honor having ur parents living good.
But dmn, I guess not everybody feels the same way

We As Black Folks Ain't a Monolith, we don't think feel or see the world the same way all the time and that is ok. and there are certain unspoken social rules, and cultural norms that tend to exist in are communities many of us just follow line and step with out thinking so some times many of us can behave like we are monolith. we still aint tho and thats still ok.

Look, I'm not saying you can't respect and honor your parent or even do things for them, or help them but to automatically feel forever indebted too someone and carry them permanently and Obligated to help someone irregardless of if they helped you even attain the position you currently sit in is nonsense, I'm not saying don't help em out at all but to feel as though you must come running everytime a blood relative calls you to help is nonsense and thats what some folks do and live by. But Aye Bruh, this depend on the kind of relationship you have with your parents, and what they have or haven't done or how they have or haven't treated you in the past, some folks didn't really have supportive parent and some parents are so tied into what they are up too to even care about what your going through. it just depends.

some of us view people in general for there faults, strong points and how they are as individuals, others just like I said before follow unspoken cultural norms, were you should just do this cause... its just what we do. some of us reject that sort of logic. but aye it is what it is big dawg.

Or it’s just the truth.

Daddy wasn’t around until RayRay signed that guaranteed contract= leech

Mom has TERRIBLE financial planning but always wants you to fund failing business= leech

You can love them, but if it gets in the way of you providing and financially being responsible then you got to put a stop to it

As a parent your kids aren't supposed to be your safety net because you refuse to improve yourself.

Quoted For Factz

 

[Piff Perkins]

"Most black men" have the burden of taking care of their mothers? According to whom/what? I'm so tired of black "commentators" peddling black misery porn.

 

[xiceman191]

It's almost like u guys cant be black... and I'm not saying that to be disrespectful...
I mean it like... had the fukking typical black experience...
Mother ain't have shyt... but somehow kept the lights on... made sure u at least had alil food... pops had to deal with racism but still taught u life lessons and how to stand strong...
But u muthafukaz in here talking bout "u shouldn't feel like u owe somebody something for having u"...
What in the holy fukk...
Dawg, it should be an honor to give back to ur parents... ur a king when u can put them in a comfortable position...
Like the honor it gives u to have ur wife out here lookin nice, and ur kids in a good school... it should be a bigger honor having ur parents living good.
But damn, I guess not everybody feels the same way

You right I don't see it the same way. I had two successful parents and I ain't had to want for nothing, I never had to worry about the lights, food, etc. I don't have to worry about giving back to my parents because they are way more successful than me right now. Why the fukk should I feel ashamed for having parents that are already living good? Why should I be ashamed that my goal is to be just as successful as my parents instead of having to clean up their mistakes? Why does me having parents that did well make my experience less black? Is the black experience supposed to be nothing but being poor, single-parent homes, and the hood? What makes that the more black experience? I swear you mothafukkas take pride in shyt being miserable like that's the way its supposed to be. My parents came from the hood just like yours did and they put in the work to make sure that their kids didn't have to live like that and that's something to be ashamed of? FOH.