Coli Breh that have had kid(s) with your girl and maintained the relationship..whats the secret??

[BrehWyatt]

A woman will never love us the way we think they should throw a kid in there and it's a wrap.

I know the narrative is that women aren't accountable. While that's usually true... the bolded is on us.

Gotta communicate what we need and want to feel loved (i.e. love languages, etc.). Otherwise, can't get mad if we don't get it the way we need it unless she ignored your instructions.

 

[True Blue Moon]

@True Blue Moon I like that a lot

A lot dudes think that having scripts is lame but they went to school and memorized a lot of unnecessary bullshyt

I can totally see how that type of comunication would work

Exactly breh. And you know your woman better than any of us so def feel free to cater any of that communication to the way that would be the most effective in your personal situation.

Just have a few good ones in your back pocket and be ready to read the situation. Being real about what you're saying or doing is the most important part too so don't feel like it ever has to be perfect. The possibilities are endless.

 

[True Blue Moon]

I know the narrative is that women aren't accountable. While that's usually true... the bolded is on us.

Gotta communicate what we need and want to feel loved (i.e. love languages, etc.). Otherwise, can't get mad if we don't get it the way we need it unless she ignored your instructions.

Indeed. A man his responsible for getting his needs met

 

[Geode]

I don't know how much research one can really do. We took all the parenting classes we could and we were still overwhelmed. The first few couple of months are ROUGH. If a couple is not solid a new baby could easily break them. Plus even talking to other parents can only do so much. Every parent and child is different.

I agree though that there def has to be a lot of discussion and preparation for a new baby.

Im sure every situation is different. What I meant is that women are not always well versed on what pregnancy can do to the body, emotions and how that impacts their relationship with their partner. Acknowledge that you'll be an emotional mess, and accept that you may get checked on it, in the most loving supportive way, of course.

I totally agree its rough even for a solid relationship where these conversations have happened, but I guarantee this ain't happening for a lot of folks.

 

[ThiefyPoo]

That's why pregnancy should be planned and why when your having a child you should take idk maybe a whole hour out of your life to research pregnancy and how it affects your partner's body. The disconnect men have with the creation of their own children is wild to me.

That last part makes me think of wale .

He grew up never having love from his parents .

He said he didn’t even feel a connection to his daughter for a while . Like of course he love her but that connection it was hard for him cause he’s not use to that kind of love .

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

That last part makes me think of wale .

He grew up never having love from his parents .

He said he didn’t even feel a connection to his daughter for a while . Like of course he love her but that connection it was hard for him cause he’s not use to that kind of love .

Oh wow that's so sad.

 

[TLR Is Mental Poison]

Im sure every situation is different. What I meant is that women are not always well versed on what pregnancy can do to the body, emotions and how that impacts their relationship with their partner. Acknowledge that you'll be an emotional mess, and accept that you may get checked on it, in the most loving supportive way, of course.

I totally agree its rough even for a solid relationship where these conversations have happened, but I guarantee this ain't happening for a lot of folks.

I don't like the idea of "checking" postpartum emotional outbursts. You check people trying to violate or disrespect you which is not what a new mom needs

I remember my wife had some meltdowns within the first like months. I told her she was wilding but I still held her and calmed her down. I'm guessing thats what you meant

 

[Elle Driver]

You gotta be a real patient person.

 

[jwall123]

I don't like the idea of "checking" postpartum emotional outbursts. You check people trying to violate or disrespect you which is not what a new mom needs

I remember my wife had some meltdowns within the first like months. I told her she was wilding but I still held her and calmed her down. I'm guessing thats what you meant

Not really feeling the idea of checking her either. If you know she is capable of having emotional meltdowns, you should be able to temper your feelings and understand her emotions and hormones are part of pregnancy.

 

[thaKEAF]

My little man is about to be 3 weeks and so far this is the opposite for us. The pregnancy was like night and day compared to how we were before, but now she’s back to normal and ready to do everything we used to do.

I will say of course it depends on the pregnancy and how the woman’s mind and body are affected. But also at the same time for any relationship to make it through whatever storm, the foundation that was built from the beginning and communication are key.