johntheblackjew
Banned
Growing up i used to see this happen quite often but didnt pay much attention to it....a seemingly loving couple in a relationship for a while and then they have a kid and somehow their relationship dissolve and c'est la vie.
now as an adult and going through it, im just confused as to how to overcome it and not fall victim to the seemningly inevitable sequence of things.
My girl and I went out for 2 and a half years and everything was A1....abundant sex, adventurous, communicative....i would call her my best friend. ONe thing lead to another and she became pregnant..we had the baby 10 months ago and somehow everything just switched...slowly at first, then now rapidly.
So for the first 2 years of our relationship, we lived in our different space but gradually she would spend more and more time at my place but it was so beautiful and nothing out of the ordinary. After she got pregnant, i figured with a kid in the picture, it would make more sense for us to live together eventually. During the pregnancy she maintained her apt but a month before the kid was born, we moved into a two bedroom apt.
Looking back now, i can see an almost immediate switch right after she became pregnant....the sex dropped DRASTICALLY, she was slightly less concerned about the companionship aspect of our relationship, her appearance, her drive etc..i just figured its the pregnancy and didnt think too much of it.
Lets just say after we moved in, it started to become pretty glaring that something has changed. Again, i just use the excuse of new born baby and changes that she's going through to try to rationalize her behavior. But after 9 months, it feels like its not just a phase.
I remember at some point after she became pregnant, she said something that i took at a joke. Our sex life was ALWAYS kinky af,...doing all types of wild ish together. After we found out she was pregnant, we were about to have sex and she said "now that we are having a kid, i should know that she doesnt have to do any of that freak things anymore"..she said it in a joking way, so i just laughed along. But really, thats what its come down to. Infact, it would be perfectly fine with me if we just have vanilla sex ever so often but thats rarely on the table every 3 weeks, if im lucky.
She's become very controlling, especially when it comes to my interaction with the kid. Constantly Nagging about every single thing...literally EVERY SINGLE THING she finds a reason to complain about....her demeanor is 180 from the person i knew when we were dating. I literally feel like an invasive guest in my own "family".
I damn near feel tricked. I've spoken to other guys who's relationship dissolved after a kid or kids and they tell me the same sequence of events.
Its like women disguise who they are so effectively Until you get them pregnant, then its "thank god i dont have to pretend anymore.....whats the point of you being around?" comes out full force.
Now i look at some of these guys that are able to maintain their relationship after a kid or two and im wondering what their secret is.
Or if they're going tthrough the exact same thing but just pushing through because of the kid.
For my coli brehs
1. if you've yet to get to that position, be on the look out for signs that she's that person because im sure there are always moments when they drop their facade
2. If you've been in it and it worked itself out, whats the secret??
3. If you didnt go through that with your lady, what was the key to making that happen?
now as an adult and going through it, im just confused as to how to overcome it and not fall victim to the seemningly inevitable sequence of things.
My girl and I went out for 2 and a half years and everything was A1....abundant sex, adventurous, communicative....i would call her my best friend. ONe thing lead to another and she became pregnant..we had the baby 10 months ago and somehow everything just switched...slowly at first, then now rapidly.
So for the first 2 years of our relationship, we lived in our different space but gradually she would spend more and more time at my place but it was so beautiful and nothing out of the ordinary. After she got pregnant, i figured with a kid in the picture, it would make more sense for us to live together eventually. During the pregnancy she maintained her apt but a month before the kid was born, we moved into a two bedroom apt.
Looking back now, i can see an almost immediate switch right after she became pregnant....the sex dropped DRASTICALLY, she was slightly less concerned about the companionship aspect of our relationship, her appearance, her drive etc..i just figured its the pregnancy and didnt think too much of it.
Lets just say after we moved in, it started to become pretty glaring that something has changed. Again, i just use the excuse of new born baby and changes that she's going through to try to rationalize her behavior. But after 9 months, it feels like its not just a phase.
I remember at some point after she became pregnant, she said something that i took at a joke. Our sex life was ALWAYS kinky af,...doing all types of wild ish together. After we found out she was pregnant, we were about to have sex and she said "now that we are having a kid, i should know that she doesnt have to do any of that freak things anymore"..she said it in a joking way, so i just laughed along. But really, thats what its come down to. Infact, it would be perfectly fine with me if we just have vanilla sex ever so often but thats rarely on the table every 3 weeks, if im lucky.
She's become very controlling, especially when it comes to my interaction with the kid. Constantly Nagging about every single thing...literally EVERY SINGLE THING she finds a reason to complain about....her demeanor is 180 from the person i knew when we were dating. I literally feel like an invasive guest in my own "family".
I damn near feel tricked. I've spoken to other guys who's relationship dissolved after a kid or kids and they tell me the same sequence of events.
Its like women disguise who they are so effectively Until you get them pregnant, then its "thank god i dont have to pretend anymore.....whats the point of you being around?" comes out full force.
Now i look at some of these guys that are able to maintain their relationship after a kid or two and im wondering what their secret is.
Or if they're going tthrough the exact same thing but just pushing through because of the kid.
For my coli brehs
1. if you've yet to get to that position, be on the look out for signs that she's that person because im sure there are always moments when they drop their facade
2. If you've been in it and it worked itself out, whats the secret??
3. If you didnt go through that with your lady, what was the key to making that happen?
or your freedom or your playstation or the fellas
Thats all I got. I’ve had two sets of kids by two psycho broads that I left bc of this same situation. Trust your boy, it’s cheaper and better to keep her.