Coli, was I being a bytch to my date? Story/texts inside..

[Spliff]

Why'd you wait for someone you find unattractive to show up 30 mins late to a date your barely wanted to go on?

Have some dignity.

 

[Spiritual Stratocaster]

So I went out Sat evening to dinner. Mind you, the guy asked me out, the first time we met we went to Starbucks and chatted. It was whatever, I decided it'd be okay if he took me out for a formal date. So here's strike .5 (See text messages):




So I passed, and then he hits me up again this Saturday to go out TO DINNER. He picked Chili's in *** at 7, so I'm like okay cool, I'm confirming with him to make sure that still works as I was less than 10 mins away by car.

I get to Chili's at 7:02, he's nowhere in sight - I text him I'm here and then call as it was crowded so I wanted to know where he was (figured he was already there). He calls me back and says he was there earlier but ran an errand and would be back in 15 mins. I order a drink and wait at a table, he strolls in at 7:30.

I told him he should've just said something instead of me having to contact him for his whereabouts for a time HE picked.

Anyway, we order, and I'm noticing that he makes shyt eye contact, literally looking everywhere as he talks like a child.

Finally after finishing our food I pull out my wallet and ask "So how do you want to do this? Are we splitting it?"

He pretty much didn't say anything. Bear in mind my salad was 11.99 and my drink was $9.

So I paid my part and he gets up to walk me to my car, tried to put his hand around my waist and I smacked it away like

Then I told him in the parking lot that he could get a handshake instead of a hug and that wasn't a date because I paid my own way, he starts juelzing about how he was gonna pay but he's had experiences before where a woman was just using him for food blahblahblah I didn't gaf so I told him nah it wan't a date.

He wants another chance. Should I let him make it up or am I being a bytch for deading him?

Going by his texts and the bolded you acted completely normal for a female involved with that type of man.

I hate to use the word beta male but

In my experience women can't help but get catty and start copping attitudes when they're dealing with a man with feminine energy.

I'm suprised you ain't sticking around just for fukkery like so many other women do when they deal with a beta

 

[Deafheaven]

If he tries to fondle me hen I will end the date. A movie and dinner date is betteer on the 1st date in my opinion. Maybe going to an art museum or gallery would be good for the second date

But beloved. How exactly is an activity between people who are relative strangers, where you

Dont talk
Are side by side so no eye contact
Dark as fukk
People possibly right next to you ruining any privacy
Focused on a film

Build attraction? Isnt the point of a date to build attraction? Or am I missing something. Are you paying for any of this? If breh promised not to make any moves and yall do this exact activity in his living room would you be taken aback?

 

[ThrobbingHood]

What would u say you do differently than those other brehs with the “high class” women?

There’s no secret formula. Either she’s into you or she isn’t. These pick up artist books and videos are all bullshyt. I cringe when people refer to these “dating gurus.”

Just work on yourself as a man. Dress well, be confident, be well groomed, be funny and the rest will fall into place. If she likes you likes you. If not, move on. There are plenty of fine women out there.

If she’s being flakey with me, I just Bush her. I LET her message me to take me out. That’s why you keep different women on rotation. When one acts up, you just move on to the next. I genuinely haven’t taken a woman out in years... they’ve all asked me out because they value my time.

“Hey Throbby, do you want to hang out this weekend?”

And that’s how it should be. Again, if she’s into you, you don’t have to chase her up.

 

[ExodusNirvana]

So I went out Sat evening to dinner. Mind you, the guy asked me out, the first time we met we went to Starbucks and chatted. It was whatever, I decided it'd be okay if he took me out for a formal date. So here's strike .5 (See text messages):




So I passed, and then he hits me up again this Saturday to go out TO DINNER. He picked Chili's in *** at 7, so I'm like okay cool, I'm confirming with him to make sure that still works as I was less than 10 mins away by car.

I get to Chili's at 7:02, he's nowhere in sight - I text him I'm here and then call as it was crowded so I wanted to know where he was (figured he was already there). He calls me back and says he was there earlier but ran an errand and would be back in 15 mins. I order a drink and wait at a table, he strolls in at 7:30.

I told him he should've just said something instead of me having to contact him for his whereabouts for a time HE picked.

Anyway, we order, and I'm noticing that he makes shyt eye contact, literally looking everywhere as he talks like a child.

Finally after finishing our food I pull out my wallet and ask "So how do you want to do this? Are we splitting it?"

He pretty much didn't say anything. Bear in mind my salad was 11.99 and my drink was $9.

So I paid my part and he gets up to walk me to my car, tried to put his hand around my waist and I smacked it away like

Then I told him in the parking lot that he could get a handshake instead of a hug and that wasn't a date because I paid my own way, he starts juelzing about how he was gonna pay but he's had experiences before where a woman was just using him for food blahblahblah I didn't gaf so I told him nah it wan't a date.

He wants another chance. Should I let him make it up or am I being a bytch for deading him?

What exactly was this errand?

Not for nothing, if I made plans with a female to show up somewhere at a certain time and have dinner and she was there and then had to go run an errand where I gotta wait for her at the planned place like a shmuck? I'd drop her. shyt seem flakey and is a bad way to start a relationship that you admit is rocky from the get go cause he's unattractive.

Know yourself, know your worth.

Me personally? Unless it's an emergency? The date is the primary thing for that day/evening. Everything is done so that a few hours leading into the date, I'm in chill mode so when the date happens, I'm chill, relaxed, unbothered, and completely focused on YOU.

 

[ThrobbingHood]

But beloved. How exactly is an activity between people who are relative strangers, where you

Dont talk
Are side by side so no eye contact
Dark as fukk
People possibly right next to you ruining any privacy
Focused on a film

Build attraction? Isnt the point of a date to build attraction? Or am I missing something. Are you paying for any of this? If breh promised not to make any moves and yall do this exact activity in his living room would you be taken aback?

Breh, if you read her post history, she’s a damaged woman. Don’t take anything she says seriously.

 

[MajesticLion]

What u learn my nikka?

Vanity + entitlement + boredom + entertainment/distractions/rationalizations away from those first three

=

too much make-work and pretense, with little to no actual substance nor purpose

 

[Deafheaven]

Breh, if you read her post history, she’s a damaged woman. Don’t take anything she says seriously.

Ahhhhh gotcha

 

[Honey Bee]

But beloved. How exactly is an activity between people who are relative strangers, where you

Dont talk
Are side by side so no eye contact
Dark as fukk
People possibly right next to you ruining any privacy
Focused on a film

Build attraction? Isnt the point of a date to build attraction? Or am I missing something. Are you paying for any of this? If breh promised not to make any moves and yall do this exact activity in his living room would you be taken aback?

That's what cell phones and text messages are for. If a man asks ME out and asks ME what I would like to do then I tell him what I want to do.And it might not necessarily have to a dinner and movie

And yes I would be taken aback if he wants me comes over to his place for a 1st date. For more than one reason.Look darling, if you are broke then just don't date. Ether that, or you could find some woman to pay for all the dates for he both of you if you ain't trying to spend money

 

[Deafheaven]

That's what cell phones and text messages are for. If a man asks ME out and asks ME what I would like to do then I tell him what I want to do.And it might not necessarily have to a dinner and movie

And yes I would be taken aback if he wants me comes over to his place for a 1st date. For more than one reason.Look darling, if you are broke then just don't date. Ether that, or you could find some woman to pay for all the dates for he both of you if you ain't trying to spend money

I aint broke

Im just trying to make sense of why you would find a movie a good date. You literally are learning nothing about each other. Its a pointless first date. If a chick insists on that activity for our initial meeting it is a glaring red flag as it shows she either has no interest in me or in me getting to know her.

But hey maybe in your world its actually a good date as a good date obviously meana he broke bread on you and nothing more

 

[O³ (O cubed)]

Why'd you wait for someone you find unattractive to show up 30 mins late to a date your barely wanted to go on?

Have some dignity.

This is exactly the point I was going to make.

Breh didn't even say that he was going to be late until she texted him.

And here you are wondering if you were a bytch on a date.

Let a woman stroll in 30 minutes late without contacting me prior. She would've seen me on my way out.

 

[King Khufu]

Sounds unfocused. How boring.

When they say look for a nice person they don't mean someone that's childish.

Unfortunately, energies didn't connect. Only take that chance for a second date if you think there's something real chance.

 

[the bossman]

Whole thing was dead on arrival.

You never found ol boy attractive to begin with but he never did himself any favors not having common courtesy to say he was running late

Give you props for actually waiting that long.

Yous a bytch for goin on a date with a breh you had no attraction for but kudos for being patient and trying to give it an honest shot.

He does not seem like he has much experience with how to treat a woman so can't really fault you for that

 

[Lord_nikon]

I'm in my early 30s and he's a supervisor of security sites and is a personal trainer, offered for us to "work out" together. The thing is I def don't find him attractive but I assumed maybe he just looked rough the first time we met. He actually looks slow and dresses very poorly, so I'm pretty sure I have my answer as far as whether I can see myself with him (issa no.) But it was just a weird experience and I wanted too know if I was just tripping or is something off about him like I thought?

Looks breh did the right thing by having you pay

 

[Yinny]

Closure/update (I know y’all were dying for it): Back then, I let him know that we at theColi wouldn’t be going forward in the process and to be well and he hit me back like “just got out of jail too”

and

IG DM Christmastime “I know we didn’t work out but Merry Xmas.”