Confession: Drug Addiction nearly KILLED me.

[eastsideTT]

not judging man but i have a few questions:

is your brain producing serotonin at 'normal' levels now? are you taking any supplements like 5htp or tyrosine to help spark serotonin/dopamine production?

what would you do while rolling? mdma is a pretty social, touchy feely kinda drug, i couldnt imagine sitting in a parked car by myself just rolling for hours

congrats on getting and staying clean

 

[Mason83]

not judging man but i have a few questions:

is your brain producing serotonin at 'normal' levels now? are you taking any supplements like 5htp or tyrosine to help spark serotonin/dopamine production?

what would you do while rolling? mdma is a pretty social, touchy feely kinda drug, i couldnt imagine sitting in a parked car by myself just rolling for hours

congrats on getting and staying clean

 

[eastsideTT]

also you prided yourself on never touching heroin, crack, etc... but to be honest with you heroin probably would have caused less physical damage (if used safely and not sharing aids needles with other people) than rolling multiple times a week. that shyt is supposed to be kept to like a one time a month thing, max, especially as you get older. im sure you know this and again im not judging, but theres a big possibility you caused damage to your brain chemistry and neurotransmitter production. nothing that cant heal itself over time but damn man... i hope you're okay now.

have you seen a doctor?

 

[Unknown Poster]

not judging man but i have a few questions:

is your brain producing serotonin at 'normal' levels now? are you taking any supplements like 5htp or tyrosine to help spark serotonin/dopamine production?

what would you do while rolling? mdma is a pretty social, touchy feely kinda drug, i couldnt imagine sitting in a parked car by myself just rolling for hours

congrats on getting and staying clean

I've just been taking vitamins...I still assume my serotonin levels are pretty low. But I rarely feel the need to indulge in that thing.

I'd go party for hours while rolling. I mean...go to the club...dance, make out with random women I never met before, then somebody would say "hey there's an afterhours here" then I'd go to afterhours, do coke, smoke weed and I'd be done with my venture at 2:00 pm in the afternoon.

 

[ben anderson]

congars OP. addiction sucks bro. i have a binge eating disorder, it's a daily struggle and i don't think ill ever get over it. literally takes everything in me not to eat everything in my fridge. highest point 280lbs down to my lowest 160ish. now back around 230. hopefully i get under 190 by the summer. i lost most basically all of my face gains. good thing i met my girl when i was lean =).

 

[Unknown Poster]

also you prided yourself on never touching heroin, crack, etc... but to be honest with you heroin probably would have caused less physical damage (if used safely and not sharing aids needles with other people) than rolling multiple times a week. that shyt is supposed to be kept to like a one time a month thing, max, especially as you get older. im sure you know this and again im not judging, but theres a big possibility you caused damage to your brain chemistry and neurotransmitter production. nothing that cant heal itself over time but damn man... i hope you're okay now.

have you seen a doctor?

Yeah, I've seen my doctor. I told her about my drug use.

TBH, I don't feel that bad. Like I feel fine now. But I definitely am not the same person I was before then.

 

[MufasaChoppa]

 

[Lithe]

What really led to the end of me dropping that much MDMA was me having real sharp pains in my neck and stinging headaches. Like, one time I thought I legit was gonna have a stroke or aneurysm. I'd feel a piercing sensation after I'd been done rolling and it wasn't a headache but almost like a migraine.

First, I'm glad you were able to turn your life around. I know what it's like to be at a low point and just not know how to get back up. There's a purpose in the pain though.

Second, as a hemorrhagic stroke survivor due to a ruptured brain aneurysm, please be cognizant of what's going on with your brain and body. Don't do anything to purposely endanger your health. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone!

Third, keep taking it step by step and day by day! Glad to see your turnaround. Chin up, march on.

 

[Unknown Poster]

First, I'm glad you were able to turn your life around. I know what it's like to be at a low point and just not know how to get back up. There's a purpose in the pain though.

Second, as a hemorrhagic stroke survivor due to a ruptured brain aneurysm, please be cognizant of what's going on with your brain and body. Don't do anything to purposely endanger your health. I wouldn't wish what happened to me on anyone!

Third, keep taking it step by step and day by day! Glad to see your turnaround. Chin up, march on.

Thank you.

 

[Unknown Poster]

Not even tryna clown or throw shade but was this around the time that you were going into graphic detail about how you would murder other Coli posters?

YES.
it was.

My emotions and brain chemistry was off the charts.

I truly am ashamed at those posts.

 

[Unknown Poster]

Here was the scariest moment of my addiction. It was back in December.

I grabbed a 40 bag of molly...was clear. shyt was probably crystal meth. I did most of it.

I ended up feeling too jittery to the point i thought i was having a heart attack. I ended up falling to the floor trying to let my heart rate slow down. I crawled to the bathroom of my apartment deciding whether to vomit or ride it out.

I honestly thought...well thats it. Im going to die. And wondered what would happen. How would coli members react seeing an R.I.P. 1984/Legacy thread stickied up top?

I was wondering should i call 911? How would my roomates react to this?

I couldnt do that to myself. Or my family. Or friends.

I drank as much water as possible. Until i just was in a nice mellow state. And just danced to music until 12 in the afternoon.

to wane myself off of that molly (days later) i ended up taking ecstacy...which is not pure mdma...then after awhile stopped doing that.

Its been almost 3 months clean. I have no desire to do any of that ever again. I feel such regret for wasting time and money on that garbage.

 

[ThiefyPoo]

Thank you.

Op so happy God changed your life around .

Please don't listen to that dumb as stalking bout herion would be better .

My friends mom has been on it for 30 years

fukked up his whole child hood and he's a grown man still dealing with her addiction .

 

[Unknown Poster]

Also too...you can check out my tumblr from 2013-2015.

Alot of the pictures and art i was posting...it was inspired directly from my bout with drug addiction. And was a reflection of that crazy and self destructive lifestyle. I rationalized my addiction. I said to myself...i can stop at anytime. This wont be a problem.

I had to sell music equipment i worked to buy to pay off dealers so i wouldnt get beat up or shot...for less than what i bought them for. I was working at pinkberry...simply because i just wanted money to buy drugs. 2014. Id go into work still rolling from the night before.

The worst part of my whole ordeal? It cost me my relationship with a woman i was really feeling. But i accepted that maybe that loss was justified cause i gained my soul back.

 

[Unknown Poster]

Op so happy God changed your life around .

Please don't listen to that dumb as stalking bout herion would be better .

My friends mom has been on it for 30 years

fukked up his whole child hood and he's a grown man still dealing with her addiction .

Ive had to kick people out of my apartment back in the day for snorting heroin in my bathroom. Disgusting drug.

I guess i had some demons from my past that caught up with me and hard drugs was my way to avoid thwm my fears and my failures. I really was afraid of adult responsibilities and drugs were my way to run away from them.

Btw...thanks for the kind words. I feel like i finally have my life back and have conquered everything that was in my way.

 

[KRiLL (+)]

literally