Dating Etiquette

[Vandelay]

Trying to juggle multiple women when you are 40+ is a headache and not worth the trouble.....

Part of me is like, I should slow it down. And I will. 5 years, same chick was a lot...kinda relapsing into all the chicks I would've dated had I not been locked down.

 

[Vandelay]

You are better off just being alone until you are ready to be serious.

Alone as in not dating or alone as in single?

 

[Braman]

This meme perfectly sums it up

Bc here’s the thing: when you’ve had a jump off, she’s doin who knows what with who knows who in her free time. You could not care less! Bc you don’t care about her like that

However if you have a recent ex, the thought of another man splacking them cheeks can keep you up at night.

Now that makes sense right? As men we GET that. Women? They have no such logic. They perpetually dwell on the left of that meme. They wanna know even if yall are not attached.

Why? Bc all this modern dating advice comes from women’s adventures of lookin like a fool so they trying to gaslight men to act in ways that makes it easier on their frail emotions. Don’t fall for it. If yall not together, yall not together. All that ‘ we can both know what we’re doing and not be attached’ does not make a lick of sense. She don’t need to know shyt and don’t you dare be gaslighted into thinking otherwise. If either party is asking, red flag. Feelings are involved or will be

 

[Mordith]

Part of me is like, I should slow it down. And I will. 5 years, same chick was a lot...kinda relapsing into all the chicks I would've dated had I not been locked down.

From experience the main issue is women around our age group usually aren't going to have a roster of their own to keep them occupied, so once they choose you their focus is solely on you which is why they demand so much of your time ..

 

[Braman]

You are better off just being alone until you are ready to be serious.

Highly unnecessary.

OP there are PLENTY of women who don’t want shyt either. Link with those women on your time. And make sure to never introduce anything you can’t sustain. Ie don’t reply to texts fast, don’t talk on the phone, don’t do extravagant dates, etc.

Unless you’re in a bad city, you can set your boundaries as stringent as you want and have plenty of women down for the same. I’m in the dmv tho so I’m spoiled

 

[Dipsey Doo]

Alone as in not dating or alone as in single?

For me, after a divorce and a failed relationship afterwards, dating just to date wasn't working for me.

I spent a year just being single and not looking to date anyone (and yes that meant no sex). Getting my mind right and expectations adjusted.

Once you get yourself together, you can filter out a lot of time wasters and focus on what's important.

 

[Braman]

For me, after a divorce and a failed relationship afterwards, dating just to date wasn't working for me.

I spent a year just being single and not looking to date anyone (and yes that meant no sex). Getting my mind right and expectations adjusted.

Once you get yourself together, you can filter out a lot of time wasters and focus on what's important.

What does any of this actually mean. Specifically.

Not even trying to be an ashsole but I hate vague generalities like this

 

[Apollo Creed]

If a bytch is investigating on what you doing with other chicks you need to simply end it as this is a sign you have different goals.

Also understand old bytches (women over 26) will eventually try to lock you down so always understand there will be an expiration date on this stuff UNLESS you are seeking a long term thing.

 

[Vandelay]

From experience the main issue is women around our age group usually aren't going to have a roster of their own to keep them occupied, so once they choose you their focus is solely on you which is why they demand so much of your time ..

Good point I didn't think of. I was a late bloomer with chicks...multiple reasons, broke, awkward, the usual shyt...I did my fair share of dalliances in my mid to late 20s, got married at 30...that shyt fizzled out. But as I've gotten older my options have gotten to be more. I'm just kinda doing me right now because I'm only 4-5 months out of breaking up with someone I thought I was gonna marry. But I do want to get into something serious again. 2-3 dates a week is getting annoying because I keep having the same spiel over and over again AND it's mothaflipping expensive. I also didn't put it together that many women in the age range (29-44) I am dating are looking to lock it down for real...

Highly unnecessary.

OP there are PLENTY of women who don’t want shyt either. Link with those women on your time. And make sure to never introduce anything you can’t sustain. Ie don’t reply to texts fast, don’t talk on the phone, don’t do extravagant dates, etc.

Unless you’re in a bad city, you can set your boundaries as stringent as you want and have plenty of women down for the same. I’m in the dmv tho so I’m spoiled

Man, I'm in Chicago...this shyt is like fish in a barrel.

For me, after a divorce and a failed relationship afterwards, dating just to date wasn't working for me.

I spent a year just being single and not looking to date anyone (and yes that meant no sex). Getting my mind right and expectations adjusted.

Once you get yourself together, you can filter out a lot of time wasters and focus on what's important.

And initially I was going to be single, no dating for awhile, get my mind right etc...Life is short...I just turned 40. This might be my last little hurrah, so i just said fukk it, I'm going to play the field with a specific end date in mind knowing that I can crap out with this shyt...

 

[Van Cleef]

i dont date people that date other people..

having a roster is disgusting, shows you dont care about your health

 

[Vandelay]

i dont date people that date other people..

having a roster is disgusting, shows you dont care about your health

First part, I understand.

Second part, I disagree and is putting extras on it...Thank you for your input.

 

[Braman]

Man, I'm in Chicago...this shyt is like fish in a barrel.

Man if you don’t live yo life lmao

And initially I was going to be single, no dating for awhile, get my mind right etc...Life is short...I just turned 40. This might be my last little hurrah, so i just said fukk it, I'm going to play the field with a specific end date in mind knowing that I can crap out with this shyt...

This. Nggas tellin bout ‘take a year off to yourself’. It’s the dead of summer in Chicago these nggas shot out

Fam you can count thr # of months left you got to get down like this. Do you. Just set the boundaries off top and best believe PLNETY of wwm don’t want anything either…the majority of women I’ve fumbled was when I WAS looking for something. Bc when they know you don’t want much it’s a green light for them to live out fantasies.

Financially tho, yea, you gotta figure that out. Museums and picnics are your friend

 

[CreepyMcCreeperson]

Just tell them you aren’t looking for anything serious. They know what that means. There are plenty of women who will be cool with it. If not, don’t waste their time. Just be single, and date until you meet someone you want to get serious with. They will also pick up on it with your behavior. If you are serious, you’ll want to see and speak to her often, and you will lock her down quickly.

 

[jmegamar]

I was in your same place after getting divorced. Be real about things and just have fun. I never had a rotation but just a lot of chicks one after the other. Out of one fling, move into another about a week or 2 later. Eventually the right chick for you will come along. Actually when you probably least expect it. That’s how it happened for me and we living together now.

 

[re'up]

There's no right answer. It all depends on too many variables.

I prefer don't ask don't tell, but the closer you get to someone, the more you can kinda tell. I also never ask. I just observe and do my thing. Everyone on both sides is pretty aware of your communication, for example: if you text a lot in front of someone, they will get the sense it is someone else. if you call someone or text someone, and don't get answer for hours, between 7:00-10:00 you can kinda infer there is someone else.

In my experience, MANY women don't really like to fukk with more than one person. They may text or talk, but not date.

The times were I went out with like 4 people in one week, gets a little hectic. not random dates but staying the night sleeping with. You are getting texts from one on a Thursday, who you saw on Monday, and she's wondering, where would you rather be at 8:30, then at my house? and you are at someone else's. Def. been caught out with another woman, at a spot by, someone I was sleeping with the same week. She was mad, but she couldn't say I ever told her I wasn't. The "plausible deniability" gets thinner and thinner as you get closer and closer. but both parties often prefer to not openly ask.