Dealing with Depression...how do you do it?

Unknown Poster

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I've been dealing with depression for over 15 years now. It started due to a triggering event in which I got jumped by 5 people on the way to a college party and the friend I went to this party with abandoned me and ran and I nearly was killed. Since then, I've dealt with medications that didn't do anything but make me fat and sluggish, I've heard some wishy washy fake ass advice from people who wanted me to stop talking to them and didn't actually want to help me, and until I come across a BLACK MALE THERAPIST...I refuse to go to therapy. I'm not talking to no black man hating black female therapist calling us "dusty bytches" on TikTok. :mjlol:

The main sources of my depression have come from
- Not having money/being broke and having it stopping me from doing what I want to do.
- Being Single/Lonely
- Feeling isolated/alienated in an overwhelmingly white city
- dealing with racism/anti-blackness

I deal with depression by:

- Making Music
- Skateboarding
- Collecting sneakers
- Buying clothes
- Talking online to people (cause I don't talk to many people in my real life)

With that said, I am so thankful for the coli, cause I can breathe on here and discuss the things I want to discuss to like minded people who can relate.

I feel a lot of Black Men are depressed...but we don't have outlets or support systems Black Women do...so we tend to dwell in very self-desrtuctive mindsets
And we're gaslit for talking about our feelings...made to feel weak...made to feel like failures for having emotions. But that's normal.

With that said, I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anybody...but depression won't end your life. There are ways to overcome what you dealing with.
 
Complexion

Complexion

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Depression is due to internal resistance ie the difference between what you want your life to be and what it actually is. In that sense it a sign to tell you to change things up and flip the script. The chemical imbalance tip is a load of BS and most therapists are themselves messed up in the head so its best avoiding them.

I will say that generational trauma is a thing and for ADOS especially that pain runs deep due to how its been compounded, exploited and paraded to the world for commerce and entertainment which is very dehumanizing. Try this, it may seem simple but its very powerful:

willhelp.me

How to Speak to Your Inner Child

Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Ad…
willhelp.me willhelp.me
"Take this as a preview of whats to come as its a very simple but exceedingly effective method of reconnecting with your inner child whose pristine presence still dwells within the depths of your Adulterated awareness. You will require a notepad and two pens."
 
Pool_Shark

Pool_Shark

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It's tough being a man. We're just expected to take all kinds of pain and power through it. Nobody wants to hear it. Don't know what you're going through wish you the best bro.

What helps me is if there's no one I can let it out to I go within myself. I challenge myself and try and do hard shyt. Exercise or work. At the end I feel better about my situation. You need to just be your own best friend
 
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A Pimp Named Slickback

A Pimp Named Slickback

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There are black male therapists out there brotha. You just have to look for them

I suffered from depression ever since 2008. Maybe earlier than that. It wasn't diagnosed until 2011. 2018-2021 were some of the darkest years of my life. Now I'm the best I've ever been mentally. Better than I was as a kid when I didn't have shyt to worry about

Therapy is very essential. Without therapy, depression will always weigh you down. Especially if it's MDD. There's a difference between a bad day and a legitimate diagnosis. A therapist and psychiatrist will help you figure out what you have exactly

If you believe in God, your spiritual condition is the core. Without that, your mental won't reach its potential. Won't go into proof of His existence. Just know I was agnostic and spiritually confused from 2015-2021. Summer 2021, something you would think came from a movie happened to me. I am dead serious. A span of over a month

Ever since that experience, I've been on a journey of getting closer to God. This is the main thing that has me in a great place in life

Support System: family, friends, mentors, colleagues, godchildren/parents, family friends, anyone you are close to and can trust. You need to rely on those people to see you through what you're going through

You aren't a burden to anyone by asking for help. That's why they are there for you. They care about you. They don't want to see you take your own life and deal with you not living anymore. Seek those people and they will help you on your journey to wellness

Physical health: do everything you can to eat right and basically live a healthy life. Drugs and alcohol do NOTHING positive to your mental. It's a short-term satisfaction tool. After the fun ends, you're right back where you started. And many times, even further back then where you were. You have to be healthy in every facet of your life

Medication: if you need medication, your psychiatrist will help you identify what would be the best fit for you to recover, along with your therapist. Make sure the psychiatrist is a good one. Make sure he listens, is open to med changes, and cares about your wellbeing

Hobbies: no matter how hard it is, do everything you can to do any and everything you like to do. As long as it's healthy. You like videogames? Watching movies? Writing poems? Going to the gym? Watching sports? Listening to music? Do all of it. Fight that feeling of dissatisfaction. I know how it feels to be depressed. The shyt I used to love brought me no joy when I was down. But eventually, the switch turned on again. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen

Being careful about what you take in: social media, internet, excess food, etc. Life is about balance. Almost anything in excess is bad for you. Try to limit the most potentially mentally draining things. Being on TLR for more than 10 minutes everyday can fukk your mind and spirit up. Same with IG, Twitter, and any other app

Make sure you listen to and watch positive stuff. Listening to sad music is cathartic. But it will not help you recover from depression. You have to put in what you want to put out. Watch positive, funny videos. Listen to positive, uplifting music. Try to stay away from the negative stuff. Negative energy directly contributes to mental illness. Negative people feed off of it. Misery loves company

Working on yourself: develop skills like cooking, read books, positive affirmations, healthy coping skills, identify your flaws and work on improving them, basically grow to be a better person holistically. This is the key. The first step is wanting to be depression-free and acknowledging you aren't ok. After that, it's about healing yourself from the inside-out

I could say more but I will in another thread about mental health wellness. I've lived this. I've overcome this. I, now, help many other patients recover from this at least 36 hours a week in my work days. I am a walking testimony. Everyone battles something. "Normal" is a social construct. It is not a reality

Most important of all, you have a story to tell. You will get better. Everything in life gets better. Change is the only constant in this life. So even though it feels it will always be terrible, it won't. A walk outside, a short conversation with a stranger, and a strawberry lemonade can make your terrible day turn into a decent day. Decent one day can turn into good. So on and so forth

I am here to say, anything is possible. When you overcome this, you will be able to tell others what I'm posting in here. You were meant to be alive. You weren't born to take yourself out. God speed
 
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Kuma the Bear

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You should start taking the steps required to improve your situation. Unfortunately in this life, nearly no-one is going to help us, especially as a Black man. We gotta do it ourselves.

Therapy is the best possible step to dissect and overcome trauma and/or current mental issues which can be rectified so why not take it instead of dwelling in the issues? Why not actively look for Black male therapists? They are out there.
I think there is a wall you have built up which stems from PTSD of your friend leaving you to get jumped. That wall needs to be broken down so you can confide in someone trustworthy who would be willing to hear you out.

Once you have the means to move away from your current area, do so and find a town where there are other Black people living in it. Dealing with racism day in, day out but not having a supportive circle around you to offset it ain't good.
 
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