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Boogie

Boogie

Been a joint call me Mr. Backwood
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Nicole0416 said:
Thing is that you gave up control- Basically, she has the control of the situation and now can manipulate it to how she seems fit (i.e. telling her friends that you're talking again, restart the relationship etc.) you didn't establish any barriers, did not set an standards upfront or communicate to her that this will be a sexual situation. You left the door open for a lot of possibilities even though you said it's just sex. The real problem is that during momentary weakness, you let her back even though she violated by cheating. Obviously you still have feelings for her and she knows that. Your feelings may not be as strong as they once were, but they are there nonetheless. Because you still want to chill with her in a nonsexual way too, and then it seems like it will be a routine thing if yall continue hanging out.

But the trust factor is gone- so you have to decide whether to continue down this path and decide if you can take being on the receiving end of her taking advantage of you. Right now, she's getting the benefits while you're confused. I know it feels good because you're with someone that you were in a relationship with and it's emotional. Thats right now though.. how will you feel later on when the emotional feelings fall off and that resentment starts coming in to play. But you gotta decide if you are willing to put the indiscretions in the past, forgive and get over it. Or logically, can you put up with someone who violated your trust. Thinking ahead, what's to stop her from cheating again, then you're left in the same position, Because its kind of like you're giving her a pass from the cheating before; like she already got one over on you. is it better to repair and work on the relationship or should you cut all ties and move on without all this stress. All those lingering feelings will be harder to break from the longer that you stay in the situation. Need to decide if its worth all that.
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Nicole0416 said:
Thing is that you gave up control- Basically, she has the control of the situation and now can manipulate it to how she seems fit (i.e. telling her friends that you're talking again, restart the relationship etc.) you didn't establish any barriers, did not set an standards upfront or communicate to her that this will be a sexual situation. You left the door open for a lot of possibilities even though you said it's just sex. The real problem is that during momentary weakness, you let her back even though she violated by cheating. Obviously you still have feelings for her and she knows that. Your feelings may not be as strong as they once were, but they are there nonetheless. Because you still want to chill with her in a nonsexual way too, and then it seems like it will be a routine thing if yall continue hanging out.

But the trust factor is gone- so you have to decide whether to continue down this path and decide if you can take being on the receiving end of her taking advantage of you. Right now, she's getting the benefits while you're confused. I know it feels good because you're with someone that you were in a relationship with and it's emotional. Thats right now though.. how will you feel later on when the emotional feelings fall off and that resentment starts coming in to play. But you gotta decide if you are willing to put the indiscretions in the past, forgive and get over it. Or logically, can you put up with someone who violated your trust. Thinking ahead, what's to stop her from cheating again, then you're left in the same position, Because its kind of like you're giving her a pass from the cheating before; like she already got one over on you. is it better to repair and work on the relationship or should you cut all ties and move on without all this stress. All those lingering feelings will be harder to break from the longer that you stay in the situation. Need to decide if its worth all that.
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This is a woman talking and women know women better than any man. Just like men know men better than any woman.

I'd listen to this if I were you. Read this very very carefully.
 
karim

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Mahirishi said:
So yea brehs long story short. My ex and I broke up about about a year ago, she cheated and I basically moved on. She's been trying to get back with me ever since, constant messaging, calls, the usual stuff (I was in a relationship subsequently that ended). Anyway I decided to finally let her in, I figured I could just hit it cause I was in a dry spell anyway so I reach out and we link up and of course I've been hitting it. I have no feelings towards her, this is purely sexual benefits for me but at times I can tell that she's getting more into that emotional position (calling me babe, telling her friends that we're talking again, asking me why I don't call her in the morning etc). I don't contact her unless I'm going over to hit and leave pretty much when I'm done. Not immediately to make her feel like shyt but like 30 min after.

The problem is brehs, I'm enjoying the sex yes but it's pointless sex. I've never rekindled a sexual relationship with an ex before. It's crazy seeing someone that you once loved just turn into a booty call . I'm not gonna lie I get the urge to call or chill non sexually because at the end of the day I loved that girl but she cheated and I know she can't be trusted. Deep down I know I still have feelings for her we had a pretty rough breakup but it's pretty much rationale vs emotion. I know some brehs have been through/going through this. I guess I just wanted to share the experience and use this thread for discussion of advice or similar scenarios..:mjcry:
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An ashy lil fap hand

An ashy lil fap hand

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sometimes people cheat. keep it casual and continue to smash while seeing other people. eventually she will bounce or have a breakdown, and then you can decide if you want to give the real thing a chance again. you gonna have to truly forgive, tho. :yeshrug:

Just don't make her a priority for now and you'll be fine.

But this is likely gonna end up with you getting back together, for better or worse. And if you don't want that, why waste your time?

The internal struggle you're feeling is the realization that this current situation can't possibly last forever or end in a nice way. Bury your feelings and get the nut...or...cut if off now. Either way you gonna have to pick up the pieces, now or later. Choice is yours.

Personally, I would let it blow up in my face. Straight up. I'd ride the wave until it all comes crashing down and then laugh about it. She a cheatin ass bytch...do whatever you want with her.
 
S

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You said you were going through a dry spell.
You been hitting it recently.
Dry spell OVER!
Get out while you can.
 
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Mugen said:
She never admitted she submitted it's a big difference. She still lying to herself and to you. That's what you do when you submit. Think about it.
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absolute truth. i've forgiven exes and took them back (not because of cheating). but it was never able to happen until they fully recognized that they did something wrong. me being upset ain't a problem. i could be upset about the weather. the problem is you did something wrong and an adjustment must be made, to put it lightly.
 
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