Working your ass off barely making enough whist others involved in crime earn in a week what you do in a year?
And yes I’m aware that you get a peace of mind but bear in mind that most criminals, especially those those at the top rarely get arrested. Most of them do actually get away with it and get to enjoy their money.
Not gonna lie, I do sometimes think this way but am I built for that life?
NO. I DON'T LOOK AT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING AND COMPARE MYSELF. I STAY IN MY LANE AND KEEP DRIVING.
My major issue is I'm always racing myself...
The last I sold illegal narcotics was in January 2017, a month before my oldest daughter was born, and I was 27 years old. That had been my life since I was 15. I had a handful of jobs here and there, but never for a sustained period because I've had a record since I was 16 and I also enjoyed my lifestyle more than working for pennies...
I found out I would be a father in June 2016. This was a month after I got robbed in May, a month after potentially losing my life, I was at a hotel in Atlanta with a homegirl from Vegas, pulling in pills and weed to a stash spot, several firearms. This is a month after a gun pressed to my temple and nikka threatening to pull the trigger...
I was wasting another opportunity at life without even realizing it because for the most part, this was what I knew and was comfortable with. And there is no greater horror than reflecting now on how comfortable I was with living violent and playing with my life...
I caught my last case in Charlotte in June 2014, attempted murder. Beat the charge in 2015 but had to take a conviction for a small charge, and was told very clearly that any other charge I catch I will be stretched out, playing with the bytch/predicate/3 strikes, whatever they call it where you're from, its all the same. Anything else I'm striking out, they were sending me up with habitual status...
Keep in mind I was 25 years old when they told me this, and what did I do? I ran right back outside shoveling narcotics like it isn't illegal and wouldn't get hammered if caught...
So flash forward, what precipitated a change was learning I would be a father. Everyone doesn't have that feeling, but it gradually changed me. I never felt like i would make it to fatherhood, or even as a father. I've dodged fed cases, had all the same shyt you expect. Most money I've touched in a week, close to $40 . I've lost it and made it back. Multiple jail bids in different states, one prison bid...
But when I found out I'd be a father it woke something within me. And it wasn't instant, but by August '16 I started saying that I would remove myself from dealing by the time Adanna was born...
I left with about $17 grand saved, and found a job two months before I cashed out, but had no clue where I was going. And my woman was a light for me many times when I was pissed or depressed at the notion if having to clock in somewhere...
Today I've elevated the last few years and changed career paths, and I'm almost 30 still trying to figure out what I want to do. I don't really want to go back to dealing, and the temptation has waned over the last 2½ years, but still exists---->but only because I compare my income now to younger versions of myself. Which is foolhardy....I have very few insecurities but one of the biggest is trying to manipulate the system legally, so that I can stay here for my daughters, but knowing I've made more money and can do so without the excess shyt...
What's made it easier is recalling my journey. I can't imagine being someone who has never really lived a life of crime but fantasize about doing so. If I was successful without it, I 100% believe I would never have a thought towards it...
I learned awhile ago not to watch other people. My race is with myself, it's something I struggle to release, because taking the illicit income out of it, I'm a much more responsible, mature, honest, and better person to be around today, than I ever was before my daughter was born...
fukk I look like workin 3 hours out my shift
It’s a joke now is it?
Why keep having to makeup different homework assignments and tests if the students are learning?
