Ever go through periods of your life where it just feels like nothing is going right?
- Thread starter O.T.I.S.
- Start date
HUSSLA'S P.
All Star
2016. My grandma and grandpa passed away within 3 months
Such a fukked up year that was
fukk 2016
or everything is unnecessarily complicated, a struggle, annoying, etc.
Its literally how I feel today. Everything is difficult from traffic, people (being in the fukking way more than anything), parking, family members, etc.
I even pulled up to my favorite sushi spot to get some food/sake and chill then the chick straight up looked at me and said "we don't serve sake here" like I was crazy.
Im like I literally came 2 months ago and yall had the shyt
Relationships are whatever as well.. I literally feel like dipping out on everyone for awhile.
Even my electronics are fukking up.
This is just my take on it, but I always feel that shyt happens like that when you are going in the wrong direction. That might be why shyt is a struggle.
I know that a lot of people don't believe in fate, but it seems like when I am going in the right direction that things happen very easily. Almost like it was supposed to happen.
I don't know, but that shyt might seem cosmic or something; but those are my observations.
Geechiedan214
All Star
Dam bruh hold ya head I feel ya pain
Reading this thread has shown me that ignorance really is bliss...
Just saw one of my former teachers with cancer and I damn near teared up
Just saw one of my former teachers with cancer and I damn near teared up
PaperEnterprise
It's the inner strength..
Let it all out folks 
You are in a similar place I am. After my parents divorced, my mom stayed miserable for 20+ years. I was lucky if I got one meal a day. Saw my dad every other Saturday, maybe. When I did see him he would ask why I looked so weak. "Blah blah your a man now, take care of you mom" Then off he goes.
Fast forward to now, my mom suffers from random seizures (lost her license), short term memory is gone, and she is still as miserable as she was years ago. I have no family to help, no friends to lean on and my dad is miles and miles away living with his mom now. I've wanted to leave for years now, but I can never make enough money to move out and stay close by. She keeps telling what few friends she has that I'll be here forever.
Neither one of them has ever stopped to think about the position I've been put in. Everyone will tell you how great of a son/daughter you are and wave you away like you got it handled. No one will ask you how you feel about the situation. No one will look for a resolution because you are the resolution in their eyes. I'll be 28 next year and I haven't done anything noteworthy because I've always taken care of everyone else but myself. Never given a chance to have my own life.
I fall in and out of depression all the time. Screaming my lungs out as I drive to work in frustration because I feel trapped in a dead end job and trapped at home. Health issues and lack of money make sure that I eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But, I was born in this world, so I have a right to live in it just like them. I have to remember that I deserve to live. And so do you.
You are in a similar place I am. After my parents divorced, my mom stayed miserable for 20+ years. I was lucky if I got one meal a day. Saw my dad every other Saturday, maybe. When I did see him he would ask why I looked so weak. "Blah blah your a man now, take care of you mom" Then off he goes.
Fast forward to now, my mom suffers from random seizures (lost her license), short term memory is gone, and she is still as miserable as she was years ago. I have no family to help, no friends to lean on and my dad is miles and miles away living with his mom now. I've wanted to leave for years now, but I can never make enough money to move out and stay close by. She keeps telling what few friends she has that I'll be here forever.
Neither one of them has ever stopped to think about the position I've been put in. Everyone will tell you how great of a son/daughter you are and wave you away like you got it handled. No one will ask you how you feel about the situation. No one will look for a resolution because you are the resolution in their eyes. I'll be 28 next year and I haven't done anything noteworthy because I've always taken care of everyone else but myself. Never given a chance to have my own life.
I fall in and out of depression all the time. Screaming my lungs out as I drive to work in frustration because I feel trapped in a dead end job and trapped at home. Health issues and lack of money make sure that I eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But, I was born in this world, so I have a right to live in it just like them. I have to remember that I deserve to live. And so do you.
Last edited:
O.T.I.S.
Veteran
I feel this too... Trapped now. It's why I wish I had took a job overseas.Let it all out folks
You are in a similar place I am. After my parents divorced, my mom stayed miserable for 20+ years. I was lucky if I got one meal a day. Saw my dad every other Saturday, maybe. When I did see him he would ask why I looked so weak. "Blah blah your a man now, take care of you mom" Then off he goes.
Fast forward to now, my mom suffers from random seizures (lost her license), short term memory is gone, and she is still as miserable as she was years ago. I have no family to help, no friends to lean on and my dad is miles and miles away living with his mom now. I've wanted to leave for years now, but I can never make enough money to move out and stay close by. She keeps telling what few friends she has that I'll be here forever.
Neither one of them has ever stopped to think about the position I've been put in. Everyone will tell you how great of a son/daughter you are and wave you away like you got it handled. No one will ask you how you feel about the situation. No one will look for a resolution because you are the resolution in their eyes. I'll be 28 next year and I haven't done anything noteworthy because I've always taken care of everyone else but myself. Never given a chance to have my own life.
I fall in and out of depression all the time. Screaming my lungs out as I drive to work in frustration because I feel trapped in a dead end job and trapped at home. Health issues and lack of money make sure that I eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But, I was born in this world, so I have a right to live in it just like them. I have to remember that I deserve to live. And so do you.
I don't understand how people can't never seem to handle theres then expect YOU to bail them out.
Then if you do something for yourself you get looked at funny. My dad has 2 whole jobs and barely comes to visit my grandparents once a month but asking me for money because he helps them out and im like
If anyone should be asking for anything its my aunt. She spent almost 50k trying to take care of them. Im already being asked to MOVE IN with them and help her so im like wtf??
I bought his own daughter, my sister a fukking car because nobody else could
My mother makes 100k+ and still asks me for fukking STACKS to help her pay bills abd im literally like
Then my homie has a whole kid, borrowed money, has a job, then on the same day as my dad asked me to borrow more money
How are all you nikkas so irresponsible financially??? HOW??? Im not perfect at all but WHAT THE fukk.
Then people always trying to do shyt but last minute and expect me to just be cool with it. Im dreading tomorrow and damn near everyday after. Im honestly thinking about just rolling out on everybody
DirtyMoney
Banned
Yes. But NEVER GIVE UP.
ThaRealness
Superstar
Yeah, its my fault though. My immaturity and selfishness brought me to depression. Im cutting out negative energy from my life and working towards concrete goals... Trying to keep my sleep schedule locked in, stop eating shytty food and stop listening to negative/nihilistic music .
But the truth is a motherfukker man
Im out here 24 with no friends in my city, getting no p*ssy... working a shytty job. Experience is the best teacher and I have next to zero. my social skills lacking, and I dont have enough time to do what I want with music. My room only has 3 posters because I got a weak ass adhesive. I never clean this motherfukker. Eating ramen and work food. Still addicted to nicotine pills, still addicted to caffeine. Im out of shape... havent balled in 6 months. I got dental bills... ADD getting worse and worse. Insecurities building up.
But Ive got the mental and spiritual strength to succeed. I see everything for what it is including both the positives and negatives. Ive taken serious steps forward, and its just a matter of seperating lifestyle flaws from personality flaws. Some things can't be changed, but Imma do everything thats in my control
because the truth is you'll never wake up one day and be a completely different person. I used to wait for that day and it never came
But the truth is a motherfukker man
Im out here 24 with no friends in my city, getting no p*ssy... working a shytty job. Experience is the best teacher and I have next to zero. my social skills lacking, and I dont have enough time to do what I want with music. My room only has 3 posters because I got a weak ass adhesive. I never clean this motherfukker. Eating ramen and work food. Still addicted to nicotine pills, still addicted to caffeine. Im out of shape... havent balled in 6 months. I got dental bills... ADD getting worse and worse. Insecurities building up.
But Ive got the mental and spiritual strength to succeed. I see everything for what it is including both the positives and negatives. Ive taken serious steps forward, and its just a matter of seperating lifestyle flaws from personality flaws. Some things can't be changed, but Imma do everything thats in my control
because the truth is you'll never wake up one day and be a completely different person. I used to wait for that day and it never came
This is SO me right now
This is a great thread btw, OP.
Address_Unknown
Jesus Loves you...Your Cat doesn't. {#Dogset}
shyt comes from a real place, unfortunately. And while I'm normally the type to keep my burdens to myself while shouldering that of others, this thread spoke to me and what I'm going through currently and I just had to take a deep breath and vent. I'mma be ok, though.
Its like, a part of me doesn't want to drink anymore but it's literally all I have that makes me feel good temporarily.
Im smoking cigs almost daily (weed is always complicated to get for some reason), Im starting to feel like people just be using me. Can't even wakeup without a text of someone asking me for shyt or to do shyt that is an inconvenience to me.
Then every chick seems to let me know they want to do shyt when I'm no longer in the around...
I wouldn't even mind being deployed somewhere right now.
Breh, you practically my doppleganger at this point in terms of the shyt we goin' through and we either got to meet up to shoot a to the death fair one or agree to live on different side of the globe lest we cancel each other out.
The red bolded is another current aspect of my life that has me thoroughly pissed off 'cause it's like folk only know me when they want shyt done or to borrow money for fukk that don't ever pan out the way they write it up when they got they sales pitches going and to top it off, what little money I'm getting currently, going in to trying to hold me and my shyt down, but it's like nobody ain't seeing that shyt and still steady rolling up on me with they fukking hands out, it's sickening.
It's to the point where I've stopped answering my phone when certain folk call, only to get a call from an unknown number or a blocked number 'cause they trying to fish and see if I'm ignoring 'em; makes me kinda mad that I got a phone 'cause I was so against these shyts around the Blackberry days when Instant Messenger and Email were popping.
Now while I ain't exactly lonely I'd be lying if I said I didn't want a female to lay on, get my ear rubbed/bitten and and just slip off to sleep ensconced in intimate comfort and wake up to someone that understands or willing to do so in my corner, but I know I will not find that (again, had it and lost/threw it away too many times, maybe this is penance?) while being tethered here by all these familial obligations I'm dealing with, the issues I'm having with my fam and these folks and how increasingly annoyed I am with most everyone and everything around me since they annoyed with me when I got to raise my voice over how I'm being treated, used and perceived more than half the time.
I'm an expert at keeping to myself, and like you, I'm often the shoulder folks come to cry and whinge to, so it ain't like as if I've established the need to want to be hugged/consoled by other folk, and I know that, but even common courtesy such as "I care" or "I got you, homey." on some genuine shyt short of one or two friends be really got me out here like "And we supposed to be family?" when I look at alot of people I done woke up earlier than Jesus to help, folk I done slipped money out of hiding places I ain't supposed to touch to help, folk I done had to do dirt for, help cover up dirt with, help dig (sometimes literally
) and all kind of other mental/labour intensive shyt and just get a passing "Ah, yeah, thanks." in the moment type shyt ass response.That's why I'm lowkey glad I found weed later on in life (Be around weed for two decades and finally learn how to inhale at 30 brehs.
) 'cause I'd prolly turn to abusing rather than experimenting with Hallucinogens like I normally do when I'm on vacation and have enough free time to get high, enjoy myself and come down without having to be put DIRECTLY back into the grind or any stress. It's to the point where I feel like a junkie waiting for the weekend to come so I can turn off my phone, spark up and just lay back in my smoke spot in the bushes, hit play on whatever playlist I made and just escape in music and high thoughts and just chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil.
