Exactly what's wrong with a long engagement (5-10 years)

[onelastdeath]

And I agree with that concept completely, as a matter of fact I said the same damn shyt in the thread about the man who's wife left him after he started to go blind due to diabetes.

So an engagement, a betrothal, is basically the first step. You think that person is worthy enough of marriage, then what's the hold up? Are you still questioning getting into that contract with them? If you propose to a woman and she accepts your proposal, then naturally the next step is to plan the wedding. The hell you just sitting on an engagement for?

An engagement is a comittment. People "date" and cheat all of the time. People have girlfriends and boyfriends that they don't comitt to. If you have a fiancé, then you are saying "This will be my life partner". There is no "hold up" the same way there is no "rush", it's marriage not a subscription. You aren't "sitting" on an engagement, and you're not playing the field, you're just making sure everything is right.

I see it an engagement as exclusive dating that leads to a marriage. Not "Let's get married right now".

Engagements are a huge deal.

 

[Elle Driver]

An engagement is a comittment. People "date" and cheat all of the time. People have girlfriends and boyfriends that they don't comitt to. If you have a fiancé, then you are saying "This will be my life partner". There is no "hold up" the same way there is no "rush", it's marriage not a subscription. You aren't "sitting" on an engagement, and you're not playing the field, you're just making sure everything is right.

I see it an engagement as exclusive dating that leads to a marriage. Not "Let's get married right now".

Engagements are a huge deal.

An engagement is a commitment to...marriage. Do you know what courtship and a betrothal is? It's all tied together.

 

[onelastdeath]

An engagement is a commitment to...marriage. Do you know what courtship and a betrothal is? It's all tied together.

I do. I'm asking you, if you have the promise to be married, why does it matter when it happens?

Is it the social shaming? Is it not being able to deal with the opinions of your friends?

What's the difference between a 2 year engagement and a 5-10 with cohabitation? I get the feeling that it's the opinion of others and the feeling that your "time" is being wasted more than it is that y'all want to be married.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

I see it an engagement as exclusive dating that leads to a marriage. Not "Let's get married right now".

You have NO intention of getting married, though. You're bullshytting. We know you are because it is retarded to get engaged and have NO idea when you're going to go through with the marriage.

That's like signing a lease on an apartment and paying the rent each month, but not moving in until you feel like it at some indeterminate time in the future.​

 

[onelastdeath]

You have NO intention of getting married, though. You're bullshytting. We know you are because it is retarded to get engaged and have NO idea when you're going to go through with the marriage.

That's like signing a lease on an apartment and paying the rent each month, but not moving in until you feel like it.​

I believe that couples should be able to enjoy eachother for as long as possible without any distractions/extra responsibilities.

 

[Dafunkdoc_Unlimited]

I believe that couples should be able to enjoy eachother for as long as possible without any distractions/extra responsibilities.

I'm married and don't have any.

What's your excuse now?

​

 

[Elle Driver]

I do. I'm asking you, if you have the promise to be married, why does it matter when it happens?

Is it the social shaming? Is it not being able to deal with the opinions of your friends?

What's the difference between a 2 year engagement and a 5-10 with cohabitation? I get the feeling that it's the opinion of others and the feeling that your "time" is being wasted more than it is that y'all want to be married.

There is no social shame. It's a process and engagement is the first step, afterwards you plan the wedding (usually six months to a year in advance for planning and advance notice purposes), and then the marriage union is formed afterwards. If you don't want to get married, don't get engaged, because you even said the whole premise is you see your partner as "marriage worthy", but at that point you might as well stay long term and then get engaged/married when you feel ready. Marriage really isn't for everybody and that's fine. But traditionally, courtship occurred between two people who considered each other marriage worthy and became betrothed/engaged to each other, and start wedding planning right after.