Son... I remember this one time back in NY, there was this thick Puerto Rican broad on my floor, that I was cool with. Broad was built Ford Tough, and had body for days. One morning she comes into my cube area and asked a n1gga to help her zip up the back of her skirt, one of those one piece numbers. I'm thinking it's caught somewhere in the middle of her back. When she takes her jacket off, it's all the way down to just above her butt... I'm doing my best not to look, and she's like "It will go faster if you look at what you're doing" and I'm like "trust me, this is NOT what I need to be looking at". She's rushing me so she can go log in, and I'm like "I'm trying, I can't get it up", at which point my man comes walking into the area, to the cube next to mine, then looks at us like

... I eventually get it zipped up, but I had seen all sorts of thong and butt action... A n1gga was messed up for the rest of the day.... That night, while we're sleeping, wifey decides she wants some action and starts messing with a n1gga... Only problem was, I was having this ill dream that I was smashing out the broad from my job. I get into it, but I'm still half asleep. It wasn't till I was already in the middle of knocking down wifey that I fully came to and realized it was her and not the broad from work... So we finish, and she's all out of breath like "what got into you?"

I had to play it cool like

"what you talking about? that's regular!"

I went to the office the next morning and told old girl she couldn't be doing that anymore, and I told her why. She laughed and was like "aww that's cute, you dreamt we were making love"... "Nah, ma, this wasn't no lovemaking... I was trying to dislocate ya spinal cord...

"