Father on the phone don't want to deal with his kids anymore after being put on child support

[Mowgli]

It's to bad. Paying money and the woman teaching the kids how to be stupid under her thot tutelage. He's frustrated.

 

[Giselle]

Not upset at all.

Spoiler: Brief version of my story

Now, my situation was very unique and fortunate.

My mother had gone through Catholic Charities; which was an organization that would encourage mothers not to abort and not to abandon their child. After a lot of deep contemplation, she ultimately decided to start that process. They took care of her for the last few months of her pregnancy in housing that was connected to the Bronx hospital I was born at.

The parents who adopted me were amazing. I have many cousins who were adopted and who expressed heartbreak and disappointment with finding out they were adopted. Not me. I was raised in a beautiful home and the way I describe the revelation of my adoption is like having the bonus features at the end of the DVD movie you loved.

I can go into more about how I found out I was adopted in a DM or in another thread. I don't want to go too off topic.

So, the fact that my birth mother felt, at the time I was in her womb, that she would not be able to provide the life she felt I deserved - she made a decision that was well thought out and morally intentional. She vetted the situation and could reasonably argue that there was a higher probability that adoption would leave me in a better situation.

That is significantly different from a man who has been providing for his child, showing a serious presence in said child's life and abruptly makes an emotionally charged decision to make the children suffer as a way of a "get back" at the mother of his child. There is no serious perspective in which we could argue that this father made a well-reasoned choice that would help his children emotionally, psychologically and financially.

He DAMAGED these kids. There is no way around that fact.

The way he spoke about their mother was wild and no child should hear that. The way he could possibly cut his children out of his life in that way sets up the ground work for the children to expect relationships to go as normal. That's a terrible future for those kids and whoever may potentially get involved with them.

Thanks for sharing, do you feel that you would’ve viewed it differently had your adoptive life been bad? Did they explain why they hid it from you? Or why they chose to adopt?

And I was talking about men who decided from the beginning not after a relationship has already been developed, but I believe it is legal for women to abandon their kids in foster care or an orphanage at any age.

 

[Giselle]

-All my kids are with the same woman, we were together about 12 years. I raised the kids the majority of their lives & when they got older they wanted to be back with my side. The kids are grown & we get along so the court's not in our business anymore.

What was wrong with her that it sounds like she didn’t do her job as a mother? Was it drugs?

 

[iswass2012]

There are things that no man should ever deny: namely love and affection to their kids. Regardless of the situation with the mother - these are your seeds.

I am dealing with a similar situation - paying Child Support without any court orders for my kids. That had zero impact on how I viewed them or interacted with them. I would gladly pay the amount as it goes to their needs. I trust my ex and know she is solid so that even reaffirms the easy decision. A lot of people may not be as lucky as I am in that regards.


It is heartwrenching to hear the boy cry out for his dad - unable to get through to him.

I pray that this man seeks guidance and will take a proactive role in his child's life.

Separating/Divorcing is horrible for everyone but most especially kids.

I will not condemn this man as I don't know the full context. I just wish the kids will be protected, loved and cherished. As they deserve.

 

[AllHolosEve]

What was wrong with her that it sounds like she didn’t do her job as a mother? Was it drugs?

-She started trying to follow her aunt through her "single & independent" phase & fukked up our relationship. I was stable, she wanted her freedom & couldn't handle the kids alone so they stayed with me. I had medical through the state so they eventually put her on child support & her aunt convinced her to file for custody to get out of the payments. Our beef began.

-No addictions. Classic case of a woman in a relationship listening to single woman babble & making bad decisions. She was fine while were together.

 

[god shamgod]

these dumb ass nikkas need to step their pull out game up or be having a plan b on deck for these situations. I’ve smashed chicks raw & pulled out or cream pied & got 0 pregnant

Of course it’s a risk I understand that ,but self control &/or 53 dollars can gives you a much better chance of avoiding this shyt

 

[Rekkapryde]

That man is a bytch

 

[boogers]

damn OP and i thought my username was fukkin stupid

 

[Giselle]

-She started trying to follow her aunt through her "single & independent" phase & fukked up our relationship. I was stable, she wanted her freedom & couldn't handle the kids alone so they stayed with me. I had medical through the state so they eventually put her on child support & her aunt convinced her to file for custody to get out of the payments. Our beef began.

-No addictions. Classic case of a woman in a relationship listening to single woman babble & making bad decisions. She was fine while were together.

Wow!

Are the kids aware that she wasnt doing her job? Do you think the child support helped you/the kids? How was your dating life as a single father?

 

[MostReal]

Ho ass nikka shyt.

quoted for emphasis

 

[Wargames]

What a punk bytch

 

[AllHolosEve]

Are the kids aware that she wasnt doing her job? Do you think the child support helped you/the kids? How was your dating life as a single father?

-As the kids got older they could see what was going on. I honestly don't remember how much she was ordered to pay.

-Aside from her wanting to fight my new woman it was easy. I was primarily looking for single mothers anyway since I didn't want a woman without child care skills.

 

[Giselle]

-As the kids got older they could see what was going on. I honestly don't remember how much she was ordered to pay.

-Aside from her wanting to fight my new woman it was easy. I was primarily looking for single mothers anyway since I didn't want a woman without child care skills.

Were you ever able to get married? How’s the relationship between her and the kids now? What ended up happening to her?

 

[AllHolosEve]

Were you ever able to get married? How’s the relationship between her and the kids now? What ended up happening to her?

-I'm not married, I was engaged though. She's different now & everything's good with all of us. Our families spend holidays, birthdays, etc. together.