For $100,000: Would you face off against a Chimpanzee with a Dollar Tree Mop?

[Cynic]

Get permanent maimed for pieces of paper with white men on them brehs

 

[tru_m.a.c]

I wouldn't even face off against a kitchen with a dollar tree mop

 

[JahFocus CS]

Have your dikk chilling in the tall grasses for 65k post tax brehs

 

[25YOUTHS!!]

Anything short of a gun and you're food.
I don't think even a machete or big ass sword would work unless you get extremely lucky.

 

[damn_ese]

break it so it has a jagged sharp edge, as soon as the chimp gets close enough, spear it with your full force of countless female rejections, channel your repressed anger of the time you tried to stunt with a tommy hilfiger sweater but the kids pointed out it was bootleg . .
this strategy will allow you to vanquish your chimp opponent and cast him to the land of wind and ghost.

 

[Critical Distance]

 

[Mowgli]

All day on some stupid ass Chimpanzee

 

[IVS]

You gon get yo ass mopped with that mop. When that Chimpanzee goes Chimpanzee oh yo ass, your human muscle fiber and strength wont match up.

 

[Lazy Migrant]

Coli nikkas getting soft.now


I'm the only one taking BJJ?

Been in BJJ class since early Febuary. Never realized I was so

 

[Lazy Migrant]

All day on some stupid ass Chimpanzee

Yo we need an official BJJ thread in The Ring.

 

[Samori Toure]

you're not winning against a chimpanzee with a piece of plastic

i wouldn't even do it with a machete

you're getting your head palmed like a basketball in .3 seconds, and then his incisors are tearing the flesh off of your face

Take the head off the mop. Sharpen the end piece of plastic. Then shank that muddafucckkaaa.

Then spend the money.

That chimp would never see it coming.

 

[The Guru]

My aura alone would suffice in taming the beast. He'd be mopping the arena for me in no time flat.

 

[8WON6]

nope. I remember what that chimp did to that cac lady out here in KC a few years ago.
I'd look at the chimp and be like "Hail Ceaser"

 

[red451]

After hearing about that Charla Nash incident a couple years back...

Spoiler: Nope

 

[Mowgli]

Yo we need an official BJJ thread in The Ring.

There is one I believe