For those who listen to people's problems, do you ever take a break?

[ba'al]

Been told imma good listener.

I've been told this too but I come to find out it's a way for people to manipulate you into listening to their horse shyt by complimenting you and inflating your ego.

Through it get tiresome at times, I've found that I like being confided in esp when I can walk people "off the plank."

They probably was never going to "walk off the plank" so to speak and just wanted someone to entertain their bs. If they were serious 9 times out of 10 they would've done it.

At a yute, I had no one I could trust so for me to do so now is cool.

Same.

 

[Heafcliffe]

I've been told this too but I come to find out it's a way for people to manipulate you into listening to their horse shyt by complimenting you and inflating your ego.

They probably was never going to "walk off the plank" so to speak and just wanted someone to entertain their bs. If they were serious 9 times out of 10 they would've done it.

Same.

I hear ya point.

Slippery slope but I never let it get to the extreme where I'm tired of listening. Once it gets there, I busy myself and k.i.m.

 

[EA]

I was the agony uncle of my friendship group for most of our 20’s but once the pandemic hit and I realized that I was absorbing all the trauma from my friends without having an outlet of my own, I pulled all the way back.

I talk to a therapist now and I feel so much better for it so when my friends do start venting, I‘m better equipped to listen. However, if I get the feeling that they just wanna vent and don’t actually want solutions, I curtail the conversation because my boundaries are important to me now.

 

[Pazzy]

Always.

 

[Charlie Hustle]

I stopped listening to people that repeat the same problems or do nothing to solve the problem.

 

[kaldurahm]

I pretend most of the time

 

[Flexington]

Yes, to the point that I then needed therapy myself from over absorbing all the bs and trauma dumping from people. I had a hard time with setting boundaries and didn’t realize how much I was taking on until one day I hit my breaking point.

I tend to be silly and goofy to protect myself from too many deep conversations with people, because it seems like once people realized I actually had some insights they want to latch on, and like others said exploit my empathy, patience and penchant for listening (and actually responding) just to entertain themselves while not actually trying to better their situation.

Next thing I know my phone is blowing up with stupid scenarios from these same people, family included .

And I realize as defense mechanism I now hesitate to make new friends now because I’m like hmmm what bs are you bringing along with you…which is not healthy either. So now focusing on bettering myself and actually using my boundaries. Gotta be better at stopping them from even trying to start the bs instead of copping out and shying away from interactions all together.

 

[MajesticLion]

You're either in the business of finding solutions/problem solving, or you're in the business of propping up egos so they can "get by"...



guess which most people want more

 

[GreenGhxst]

experiment and try dumping some of your problems on them and see if they give you that same patient energy

most people that do this are selfish and vampiric and it may not be intentional, but it isn't fair to your well being

 

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

 

[WaveWhisperer]

The homies know im there. I take a break when i got my own shyt to deal with though.

 

[Black White Sox Hat]

About to take a break when I tell her I don’t wanna do this shyt no more.

 

[Mr. Negative]

Yeah you gotta emotionally detox sometimes.

 

[Solomon Lurke]

The ups and downs of the pandemic really changed me as a person and made me focus alot more on my well being. Prior I was always the person in my circle people called with their problems, loaned money, always there to help with what was needed. Was able to step back and really see who was who. Really only talk to two homies regularly now and while they may have a brief segment about an issue they are having the majority is always about things they are actively working on or just catching up. Recently had a homie I hadn’t heard from in mad long get in contact with me. By the second convo they were dumping everything on to me like they did when we were younger. A lot of it the same things from back then. Had to start telling him, I have a wife, a job and a business, I don’t have the time/mental energy for these convos. After he realized that he was ghost again.

 

[Max Power]

Start offering solutions they'll quickly stop.