OP..
You may not like my answer to your response to your coworker, but based on your response, those particular dudes aren't mature!
What I could respect is your coworker's date being upfront about his intentions. That gave your coworker and option to either continue dealing with him or moving on..
Obviously, if she is interested in a relationship, then the date she had with that dude should be a one and done deal!
As for your answer to her query, immature men may use women having sex on the first dates as a reason for not pursing relationships.
As for the rest of men, there is no single reason why some men don't want a relationship.
Speaking for myself, I am all in with getting into a relationship, but it can't be a one sided affair during a courtship!
What I have experienced within current times is some women wanting men to adhere to traditional roles right away w/o doing their part in adhering to the same traditional roles.
In addition, it seems to me that some women, not all, but some women or the ones I have ran into really don't want to do shyt!
They don't ask questions. They don't engage in conversations. They don't show any enthusiasm when it comes to becoming better acquainted.
It feels as if I am auditioning for a spot on their roster where they are the judge and I am to perform or audition for them and based on my performance, they will decide whether they are going to put forth any effort or not.
In the meantime, I need to take them out to dinner, open doors, give gifts, make all phone calls and texts, etc.
How is the aforementioned appealing to me? It's one thing to take the first step or initiative pursuing someone and another thing to do all the work with little to no return..
So, perhaps for some men, women's behavior and expectations on dates is what is turning some men off when it comes to relationships because said men don't see any value in relationships with certain women.
But, if women step their game up, be active in the dating process, establish a connection with men, then there will be more men willing to get into relationships.
In all, all parties involved need to be happy and receive benefits. Not just the woman or man.