Grantland Piece on the 90's Orlando Magic

[street heat]

What the fukk

 

[Foxmulder]

"'Im sure you've all heard the story by now. This is a confirmed story, 100% true. We heard it from our sources at EA Sports. Apparently, while Shaq was playing with the Orlando Magic, he had an infatuation with Navy Seal gear. So he went out bought the black bodysuit, the night vision goggles, the eye black, the whole package. After purchasing all this crap, he decided he wanted to sneak up on one of his teammates and surprise him in the middle of the night, all while dressed as a Navy Seal. So Shaq, all 400 pounds of him puts on all this gear, and sneaks up to Penny Hardaway's house. He gets to the building, climbs up the veranda to have a peek into the second story bedroom. When he gets to the top, he is absolutely stunned and astonished to see Penny Hardaway, on his back, getting a blowjob from Steve Urkel (Jaleel White, is the name of the actor who played Steve Urkel). Shaq, so shocked, falls off the veranda, lands on his back, and two weeks later is traded to the Lakers."


Also Penny met Jaleel when he was only 15 while filming Blue Chips:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpa...F934A35755C0A963958260&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
Jaleel White, the actor who plays Steve Urkel in "Family Matters," befriended Hardaway while he was filming the basketball movie "Blue Chips" in Los Angeles two summers ago. He has been staying with Hardaway for most of the past month. "He should be on my taxes," Hardaway said, laughing. "I'm always messing with him."

 

[Big Boss]

Good article

 

[wheywhey]

"'Im sure you've all heard the story by now. This is a confirmed story, 100% true. We heard it from our sources at EA Sports. Apparently, while Shaq was playing with the Orlando Magic, he had an infatuation with Navy Seal gear. So he went out bought the black bodysuit, the night vision goggles, the eye black, the whole package. After purchasing all this crap, he decided he wanted to sneak up on one of his teammates and surprise him in the middle of the night, all while dressed as a Navy Seal. So Shaq, all 400 pounds of him puts on all this gear, and sneaks up to Penny Hardaway's house. He gets to the building, climbs up the veranda to have a peek into the second story bedroom. When he gets to the top, he is absolutely stunned and astonished to see Penny Hardaway, on his back, getting a blowjob from Steve Urkel (Jaleel White, is the name of the actor who played Steve Urkel). Shaq, so shocked, falls off the veranda, lands on his back, and two weeks later is traded to the Lakers."

The Shaq story defies the laws of physics. First he wasn't 400lbs but 300, and no veranda was going to take 300 lbs. If he fell he would have hurt himself. Remember the Kenyan Olympic gold marathoner who killed himself jumping from the 2nd story. Or how about the USC football player who sprained his ankles last year jumping from an apartment balcony. The Navy Seals don't make bodysuits for people Shaq's size. David Robinson got released from the Navy early because he was too big, couldn't fit in cockpits, submarines, etc. Finally, Shaq didn't get traded to the Lakers; he was a free agent.

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

The Shaq story defies the laws of physics. First he wasn't 400lbs but 300, and no veranda was going to take 300 lbs. If he fell he would have hurt himself. Remember the Kenyan Olympic gold marathoner who killed himself jumping from the 2nd story. Or how about the USC football player who sprained his ankles last year jumping from an apartment balcony. The Navy Seals don't make bodysuits for people Shaq's size. David Robinson got released from the Navy early because he was too big, couldn't fit in cockpits, submarines, etc. Finally, Shaq didn't get traded to the Lakers; he was a free agent.

I mean yeah, those are all plotholes..specifically the falling and trade part. But I still dont know what the fukk is up with the penny/urkel thing. That was so next level shocking to me that Im just without words.

 

[Forlife44]

the thunder could end up like them

 

[ZEupTWN]

I mean yeah, those are all plotholes..specifically the falling and trade part. But I still dont know what the fukk is up with the penny/urkel thing. That was so next level shocking to me that Im just without words.

probably cause you want it to be true

 

[Pesci]

@ the part where they are down 2-0 in the finals to the Rockets and Nick Anderson buys a Ferrari in Houston even though he can't drive a stick

Donald Royal
forward, Orlando Magic
Nick Anderson bought a Ferrari in Houston and he can’t even drive a stick. We’re like, “Why are you buying a $150,000 car during the Finals, in Houston of all places?” That kind of relaxing attitude was not good, and Houston saw it and they just drove us. We were never in it.

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

probably cause you want it to be true

yea cuz penny getting blown by urkel isnt out of left field or anything right?

 

[I.V.]

cliffnotes?

Grantland would be a great site if their articles werent so god damn long.

You are such a chump. Go read buzzfeed.

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

cliffnotes?

Grantland would be a great site if their articles werent so god damn long.

Love how my iPhone 6 plus reads to me. Long articles ain't nothing

 

[Deflatedhoopdreams]

I remember it, Shaq was probably gonna go to the Lakers anyway but there was a big article in the Orlando paper basically insinuating Shaq wasn't worth a $100 mil contract

Jokes on them

 

[Willy Waffle]

damn shaq really didn't wan to leave. at nick andersons pops calling him when shaq left, "you know your championships just went to LA"

i like these type of articles by grantland. i would love to see them do one with the late 90's trailblazers or even the early 00's kings.

 

[Professor K.]

Great, great article. shyt like this is gold. I always wondered what happened with that team. Crazy how it was all over so soon.

 

[GoddamnyamanProf]

"'Im sure you've all heard the story by now. This is a confirmed story, 100% true. We heard it from our sources at EA Sports. Apparently, while Shaq was playing with the Orlando Magic, he had an infatuation with Navy Seal gear. So he went out bought the black bodysuit, the night vision goggles, the eye black, the whole package. After purchasing all this crap, he decided he wanted to sneak up on one of his teammates and surprise him in the middle of the night, all while dressed as a Navy Seal. So Shaq, all 400 pounds of him puts on all this gear, and sneaks up to Penny Hardaway's house. He gets to the building, climbs up the veranda to have a peek into the second story bedroom. When he gets to the top, he is absolutely stunned and astonished to see Penny Hardaway, on his back, getting a blowjob from Steve Urkel (Jaleel White, is the name of the actor who played Steve Urkel). Shaq, so shocked, falls off the veranda, lands on his back, and two weeks later is traded to the Lakers."


Also Penny met Jaleel when he was only 15 while filming Blue Chips:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpa...F934A35755C0A963958260&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
Jaleel White, the actor who plays Steve Urkel in "Family Matters," befriended Hardaway while he was filming the basketball movie "Blue Chips" in Los Angeles two summers ago. He has been staying with Hardaway for most of the past month. "He should be on my taxes," Hardaway said, laughing. "I'm always messing with him."