That's probably exactly what they thought. I can't think of any other reason they wouldn't check an accomplishment as big as that.Thats hilarious
I guess they thought u can't be that bold to lie about sumthin like that haha
Has anybody ever lied on they resume?
- Thread starter Money Be Green
- Start date
Man, even some volunteer applications make you jump through hoops.
Ms.CuriousCat
All Star
Such is life
It's only at the beginning, after you get some experience, invest in your skill, hone it, opportunities will come to you and seek you out
G-Zeus
G-Zeus Chrystler...the brehsident
Yup. I have a bunch of it protocols i only know what it does.. no experiences. .. but youtube.com helps me sound so nerdy..
But i am good at what i do.. once we get to that.. im singing high notes like Mariah and lows like Barry
But i am good at what i do.. once we get to that.. im singing high notes like Mariah and lows like Barry
My friend knows a guy who can make like fake ids
He can also make like a fake degree and make it look like you went to Harvard
He can also make like a fake degree and make it look like you went to Harvard
I was looking at jobs the other day. They were asking for five years experience for a job that pays $11/hr.
shyt is ridiculous.
i know of employers that require running a credit check wtf
Depends on the place.
I don't work jobs so i can't really say from experience.
But i know nikkas who completed bullshyt their resumes/reference section. They put the numbers for their homeboys or whatever. And still get the job.
If your applying at like the mall or for fast food they won't even check.
If your applying for more of a high level position they probably will. Best thing to do is to put that you worked under the table doing landscaping or contracting for that year. Then put one of your homeboys phone numbers as the reference.
I don't work jobs so i can't really say from experience.
But i know nikkas who completed bullshyt their resumes/reference section. They put the numbers for their homeboys or whatever. And still get the job.
If your applying at like the mall or for fast food they won't even check.
If your applying for more of a high level position they probably will. Best thing to do is to put that you worked under the table doing landscaping or contracting for that year. Then put one of your homeboys phone numbers as the reference.
KravenMorehead™
Barrel Brothers.®
I did this once too, for a job at a bank. My name is a white name too, so it worked out perfectly. I got an interview, and you could see thereaction on the interviewers face when I walked in
Man I feel you. I applied for this tech job a couple mths ago. Building was like a NSA fortress. Employees had security cards and pin codes n shyt. I was likeI was looking at jobs the other day. They were asking for five years experience for a job that pays $11/hr.
shyt is ridiculous.
. Interviewer was rude as shyt too, no "heys" or "how are yous". Just told the five of us to sit down and take a test. Aced the muthafukka but the dude that failed it, he just left him there while we go to another room for phase 2. I saw the pain in his face
. Phase 2 was reassembling broken laptops to working order. No problem feeling good.
Phase 3, dude grilled us hard on work history. I felt like I was being shaken down by dirty cops but I came out alright. I was thinking I was about to get paid if they interviewing so damn hard. I was doing the birdman rub n shyt. I was already thinking how I was gonna rock the swipe cards, left side or right.
The place called my phone the next day with an offer
. Dude said, $10.50 an hour GRAVEYARD SHIFT! 
I just hung up on their faces.Man I feel you. I applied for this tech job a couple mths ago. Building was like a NSA fortress. Employees had security cards and pin codes n shyt. I was like
The place called my phone the next day with an offer
fukk that shyt. Should have at least been $15 to start, and even that would have been underpaying. These mothafukkas are ridiculous. You could makethat doing customer greetings in certain grocery stores, and with much better hours. Good for you hanging up on them.
Pro tip: when applying online adjust ur resume to the position also copy and paste the requirements in your resume use white text color that way ur reaume passes the program for certain key words and actual human can review ur resume not w machine
joeychizzle
光復香港，時代革命
I type in buzzwords and make them white on my digital resume so when I send applications online, they don't see it, but it shows up on the search.
KravenMorehead™
Barrel Brothers.®
December 19, 2011, 12:34 PM
Charlie Murphy: What I've Learned
Comedian, 52, Englewood, New Jersey
By Cal Fussman
More from this author
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Matthew Salacuse
Murphy appeared with his younger brother Eddie in movies, but he's won his own fame with hit Chapelle's Show sketches and his stand-up — he performs about 170 nights a year.
When I was a kid, I was into laughing. That's the first sign. Not that you're making people laugh, but that you're laughing. You're into acknowledging funny. Look at so-and-so's shoes! You're that guy.
Whatever you had low self-esteem about, I had an ability to pick it out and make fun of it. My brother didn't take it well. Eddie threw knives at me. He threw irons at me. He threw hammers at me. He'd be going crazy and I'd run behind the door, close it, and hold it tight. He'd stick a knife under the door and try to cut my feet.
My humor came from anger. You'd have to ask my brother where his came from.
When I was nine, my father passed away. It's one thing when you're a kid and your father wasn't there for you. My father was there, and then he was taken away.
The town that I did my adolescence in was one square mile. Roosevelt, Long Island. To a lot of people, sad to say, that was their whole world.
As an adolescent, if I was talking to you, I was thinking about how I was going to rob you. I was that way because of the people I was running with.
Gangs are formed by kids who want love.
My mother saw me in a gang jacket and said: "You're out of the gang or you're out of this house. You decide." For the next few years I had to run every day. They were waiting for me after school. I climbed out the back window. They beat up all my friends, stabbed two of them. But they never got me. I could have won the Olympics the way I was hurdling.
When you don't have money, you fall under the influence of anybody who has the appearance of having it.
I went to jail. I came out after a year and didn't want to continue the cycle. So it was either go into the military or you know what's going to happen. So I went to the Army, and they asked me if I had a criminal record. I said yeah. The Army said: We can't take you. I went to the Air Force. Do you have a criminal record? Yes. We can't take you. I thought: I know the Marines will take me. I went there. Do you have a criminal record? Yes. We can't take you. The only thing left was the Navy. They asked: Do you have a criminal record? I said: no. And they signed me up.
I'll tell you something bizarre. I was never issued dog tags. It's part of your uniform, but I never got them. I thought it was for ID. But it's not to ID you. It's to ID your corpse. That's why they make them out of metal.
In the Navy, you're around a lot of people from different parts of the country. They've got different accents, different upbringings. I learned to love country-western music. In high school, you played that crap and it would start a fistfight. Being forced to cohabitate with guys from other parts of the American culture, you start liking that stuff. You realize there's a reason why Tammy Wynette is Tammy Wynette.
Yeah, I can remember the moment I knew. I was home from the Navy. Saturday Night Live was on. The James Brown celebrity hot-tub sketch. I was choking in bed — actually gagging on food and laughter. My wife was gagging on the other side of the bed. When I went to work, everybody was talking about it.
My brother wanted me to be a part of what was going on his life, so he incorporated me. He said, "You're in charge of my security." Okay. But that security detail wasn't really a security detail. It was Hogan's Heroes.
In the military, you don't wear street clothes, you wear a uniform. Now, I'm in Hollywood, these guys are going out every night, and I have no clothes at all. Eddie says to me, "Go shopping." But I didn't know what to buy. How am I supposed to look? I'd lost all of that. So he said, "You know what, man, I have a whole bunch of clothes I'm getting rid of." And he gave me the leather jackets, all the show-business stuff he was wearing back then. One night we went out. I had on a green glitter busboy jacket, no shirt, bunch of chains around my neck. We went into the club and I could hear everybody screaming, "That's him! It's Eddie Murphy." And someone said, "Who's that other guy, the one who looks just like him? That must be his brother. Is his brother a magician?" And it felt like the jacket heated up about 200 degrees. You're not supposed to dress like this. That's not you, it's him. It brought me back to reality.
Matthew Salacuse
I was sitting in this mogul's house. My brother was there, and they were having lunch. It was real nice, going down to the beach and everything. And then we see this woman walking on the beach. It's Diana Ross. I ran down there and got her. So now we're sitting in this room. Diana Ross is sitting with Eddie in the mogul's section. I'm with some common folk on the other side. We're talking, having fun. One guy happens to use the f word. And Diana Ross comes all the way across the room and says, "Excuse me, I don't know who you gentlemen are, but I don't tolerate any profanity in my vicinity." Now, we're not at Diana Ross's house. We're in another house. We don't work for her. That's what we're all thinking. And one guy goes, "fukk you, Diana." She was stunned. Her face, it looked like pieces of it were falling off. No one was sorry. Because what sticks out in this story for me is: Why are people kissing Diana Ross's ass? Is she God? No. She sang on some records and did a good job! I give her her props. But that doesn't make you more of an adult than me. That doesn't give you any more rights than me. Being your fan is optional. If you forget that, because everybody's been blowing sunshine up your ass, you're putting yourself in the position to take a fall. That's the moral of the story. Always stay humble. It's the only way you can't get humiliated.
I believe everyone has a gift, an ability. Something that you actually realize and start to hone. There are people who are acknowledged as the top electrician. The top dentist. The number-one brain surgeon. There are people who've become millionaires from plumbing.
The thing is, most people grow up having their brains trained to be a worker. That's how the school system trains you. Be a worker. The school system doesn't train you to be the one who's running things.
People with black belts have good moral standards. I never met a drug dealer at the dojo.
I once wrote this film and got paid more money at one time than I ever had — $150,000 for the script. I just looked at that check with my name on it: $150,000! Thought I was rich. Of course, I spent the money in four months. Boom. I was thinking: I'll just write another script. Forgetting how long it took me to write the first one.
I was Eddie Murphy's brother, and he'd already achieved notoriety in comedy, and people started asking me to try it out. I did, and ever since that first day, I've never stopped. I can't really count three weeks in a row where I wasn't doing it onstage.
For me, it was an instant. The first night I met Tisha was on a boat. She was having dinner with her friends. She didn't know who I was, and I asked her to come with me. Her friends told her not to go. But she did. We drove straight to my brother's house. My mother was there. My stepfather was there. Eddie was there. They were all in the kitchen. I walked in and said, "This is my future wife."
We fit. I don't believe that you can meet another person that fits just like that. She wasn't even another person. She's a mirror, you know what I mean. It was like that for twenty years.
I come home and she's in the kids' room, crying. That's when she told me. Cervical cancer. You don't really grasp it. When the person tells you they're going to die, you go crazy. You become a different person from the moment you hear those words.
A young woman like that — don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. I know people that's ninety who do all of that.
She's a very organized woman. When she died, all the arrangements had been made. She made her own arrangements.
My daughter's five years old, man. She asks for her mother every day.
My daughter is a very organized thinker. The rice and peas on her plate have to be separated. To her, that's sloppy, putting them together. That goes into the way you think.
People over sixty-five start talking without a filter on their thoughts.
Risk is a challenge to those who are brave.
Obama came along and made it blatantly obvious why the others who'd come along before him didn't have a chance. You can have anyone for president as long as they don't show up and say, "I'm Mexican. When I become president, I'll make sure the Mexicans have it going on!" Or "I'm white and I'm going to make sure the white people have it going on!" But the black candidates who came along gave that off. Brothers and sisters and all that. That's why they couldn't become president. Then Barack came along and said: "When I become president, I'll make sure everybody that don't have, will have." And that's what a president is supposed to say to the people.
It's unfortunate. The less money you have, the more in chains you have to live.
Right now, scientists in Japan have developed new meats that's made from shyt. They're going to put it on the market. This is serious. You can Google it. Bloomberg it, man. The Poop Burger. What they found is you can take human waste and break it down. You can separate the protein. Then mix it with chemicals to make it nutritious and everything. And it's made of shyt. The point I'm making is: Who do you think they're going to be feeding that to? You think rich people are going to be eating the Poop Burger?
At the end of the day, a million-dollar diamond will fukking rot.
The only thing taken out of the room is you. That's it, man. They come in a room, put you in a bag, zip it up, and take you out.
Don't take life for granted. Don't take people for granted.
Charlie Murphy: What I've Learned
Comedian, 52, Englewood, New Jersey
By Cal Fussman
More from this author
Share
Matthew Salacuse
Murphy appeared with his younger brother Eddie in movies, but he's won his own fame with hit Chapelle's Show sketches and his stand-up — he performs about 170 nights a year.
When I was a kid, I was into laughing. That's the first sign. Not that you're making people laugh, but that you're laughing. You're into acknowledging funny. Look at so-and-so's shoes! You're that guy.
Whatever you had low self-esteem about, I had an ability to pick it out and make fun of it. My brother didn't take it well. Eddie threw knives at me. He threw irons at me. He threw hammers at me. He'd be going crazy and I'd run behind the door, close it, and hold it tight. He'd stick a knife under the door and try to cut my feet.
My humor came from anger. You'd have to ask my brother where his came from.
When I was nine, my father passed away. It's one thing when you're a kid and your father wasn't there for you. My father was there, and then he was taken away.
The town that I did my adolescence in was one square mile. Roosevelt, Long Island. To a lot of people, sad to say, that was their whole world.
As an adolescent, if I was talking to you, I was thinking about how I was going to rob you. I was that way because of the people I was running with.
Gangs are formed by kids who want love.
My mother saw me in a gang jacket and said: "You're out of the gang or you're out of this house. You decide." For the next few years I had to run every day. They were waiting for me after school. I climbed out the back window. They beat up all my friends, stabbed two of them. But they never got me. I could have won the Olympics the way I was hurdling.
When you don't have money, you fall under the influence of anybody who has the appearance of having it.
I went to jail. I came out after a year and didn't want to continue the cycle. So it was either go into the military or you know what's going to happen. So I went to the Army, and they asked me if I had a criminal record. I said yeah. The Army said: We can't take you. I went to the Air Force. Do you have a criminal record? Yes. We can't take you. I thought: I know the Marines will take me. I went there. Do you have a criminal record? Yes. We can't take you. The only thing left was the Navy. They asked: Do you have a criminal record? I said: no. And they signed me up.
I'll tell you something bizarre. I was never issued dog tags. It's part of your uniform, but I never got them. I thought it was for ID. But it's not to ID you. It's to ID your corpse. That's why they make them out of metal.
In the Navy, you're around a lot of people from different parts of the country. They've got different accents, different upbringings. I learned to love country-western music. In high school, you played that crap and it would start a fistfight. Being forced to cohabitate with guys from other parts of the American culture, you start liking that stuff. You realize there's a reason why Tammy Wynette is Tammy Wynette.
Yeah, I can remember the moment I knew. I was home from the Navy. Saturday Night Live was on. The James Brown celebrity hot-tub sketch. I was choking in bed — actually gagging on food and laughter. My wife was gagging on the other side of the bed. When I went to work, everybody was talking about it.
My brother wanted me to be a part of what was going on his life, so he incorporated me. He said, "You're in charge of my security." Okay. But that security detail wasn't really a security detail. It was Hogan's Heroes.
In the military, you don't wear street clothes, you wear a uniform. Now, I'm in Hollywood, these guys are going out every night, and I have no clothes at all. Eddie says to me, "Go shopping." But I didn't know what to buy. How am I supposed to look? I'd lost all of that. So he said, "You know what, man, I have a whole bunch of clothes I'm getting rid of." And he gave me the leather jackets, all the show-business stuff he was wearing back then. One night we went out. I had on a green glitter busboy jacket, no shirt, bunch of chains around my neck. We went into the club and I could hear everybody screaming, "That's him! It's Eddie Murphy." And someone said, "Who's that other guy, the one who looks just like him? That must be his brother. Is his brother a magician?" And it felt like the jacket heated up about 200 degrees. You're not supposed to dress like this. That's not you, it's him. It brought me back to reality.
Matthew Salacuse
I was sitting in this mogul's house. My brother was there, and they were having lunch. It was real nice, going down to the beach and everything. And then we see this woman walking on the beach. It's Diana Ross. I ran down there and got her. So now we're sitting in this room. Diana Ross is sitting with Eddie in the mogul's section. I'm with some common folk on the other side. We're talking, having fun. One guy happens to use the f word. And Diana Ross comes all the way across the room and says, "Excuse me, I don't know who you gentlemen are, but I don't tolerate any profanity in my vicinity." Now, we're not at Diana Ross's house. We're in another house. We don't work for her. That's what we're all thinking. And one guy goes, "fukk you, Diana." She was stunned. Her face, it looked like pieces of it were falling off. No one was sorry. Because what sticks out in this story for me is: Why are people kissing Diana Ross's ass? Is she God? No. She sang on some records and did a good job! I give her her props. But that doesn't make you more of an adult than me. That doesn't give you any more rights than me. Being your fan is optional. If you forget that, because everybody's been blowing sunshine up your ass, you're putting yourself in the position to take a fall. That's the moral of the story. Always stay humble. It's the only way you can't get humiliated.
I believe everyone has a gift, an ability. Something that you actually realize and start to hone. There are people who are acknowledged as the top electrician. The top dentist. The number-one brain surgeon. There are people who've become millionaires from plumbing.
The thing is, most people grow up having their brains trained to be a worker. That's how the school system trains you. Be a worker. The school system doesn't train you to be the one who's running things.
People with black belts have good moral standards. I never met a drug dealer at the dojo.
I once wrote this film and got paid more money at one time than I ever had — $150,000 for the script. I just looked at that check with my name on it: $150,000! Thought I was rich. Of course, I spent the money in four months. Boom. I was thinking: I'll just write another script. Forgetting how long it took me to write the first one.
I was Eddie Murphy's brother, and he'd already achieved notoriety in comedy, and people started asking me to try it out. I did, and ever since that first day, I've never stopped. I can't really count three weeks in a row where I wasn't doing it onstage.
For me, it was an instant. The first night I met Tisha was on a boat. She was having dinner with her friends. She didn't know who I was, and I asked her to come with me. Her friends told her not to go. But she did. We drove straight to my brother's house. My mother was there. My stepfather was there. Eddie was there. They were all in the kitchen. I walked in and said, "This is my future wife."
We fit. I don't believe that you can meet another person that fits just like that. She wasn't even another person. She's a mirror, you know what I mean. It was like that for twenty years.
I come home and she's in the kids' room, crying. That's when she told me. Cervical cancer. You don't really grasp it. When the person tells you they're going to die, you go crazy. You become a different person from the moment you hear those words.
A young woman like that — don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. I know people that's ninety who do all of that.
She's a very organized woman. When she died, all the arrangements had been made. She made her own arrangements.
My daughter's five years old, man. She asks for her mother every day.
My daughter is a very organized thinker. The rice and peas on her plate have to be separated. To her, that's sloppy, putting them together. That goes into the way you think.
People over sixty-five start talking without a filter on their thoughts.
Risk is a challenge to those who are brave.
Obama came along and made it blatantly obvious why the others who'd come along before him didn't have a chance. You can have anyone for president as long as they don't show up and say, "I'm Mexican. When I become president, I'll make sure the Mexicans have it going on!" Or "I'm white and I'm going to make sure the white people have it going on!" But the black candidates who came along gave that off. Brothers and sisters and all that. That's why they couldn't become president. Then Barack came along and said: "When I become president, I'll make sure everybody that don't have, will have." And that's what a president is supposed to say to the people.
It's unfortunate. The less money you have, the more in chains you have to live.
Right now, scientists in Japan have developed new meats that's made from shyt. They're going to put it on the market. This is serious. You can Google it. Bloomberg it, man. The Poop Burger. What they found is you can take human waste and break it down. You can separate the protein. Then mix it with chemicals to make it nutritious and everything. And it's made of shyt. The point I'm making is: Who do you think they're going to be feeding that to? You think rich people are going to be eating the Poop Burger?
At the end of the day, a million-dollar diamond will fukking rot.
The only thing taken out of the room is you. That's it, man. They come in a room, put you in a bag, zip it up, and take you out.
Don't take life for granted. Don't take people for granted.
I haven't work since Aug & won't be able to work until Aug 2015. I know that if I find a job (inshallah) & they ask me about the year long break in work history Im fukked. I wanted to know if I should put down I went to college for a couple semesters & do they check that shyt?
Just say you traveled or if you know a person who has a business of their own say you worked there, they should be able to back you up. I'm not sure you can lie if you have been in jail.
NYSTATEOFMIND
Superstar
I haven't work since Aug & won't be able to work until Aug 2015. I know that if I find a job (inshallah) & they ask me about the year long break in work history Im fukked. I wanted to know if I should put down I went to college for a couple semesters & do they check that shyt
It all depends....I work in staffing and I honestly dont give a shyt as long as I get my $..but if i know my client does real deal background checks..I be on some inpectah gadget shyt and try and catch folks lying bc I wont get my bread and I look bad. If I were you I would try and ask around or search online if company X does a work history check...some companies do...some dont