Been bullied/treated like sh*t for my skin tone from ages 11 on up until I had to cuss my manager out at age 22. This b*tch said "oh you're light skinned we're not gonna get along". I wanted to toss her little gold-tooth ass.
Eventually I left because my health got bad working with her. Too stressful and not worth it at all.
I've been spat on, had itching powder thrown on my back causing my skin to break out and bleed; I've been jumped by black guys in junior high; white kids (when we moved to a white neighborhood) would keep asking "what are you?........we've never seen your kind!"
while the black kids in junior high (our town is divided by train tracks so the black kids lived in the hood while the white folks, me and the other folks of different cultures lived in the white town) would be like "oh you're one of those light skinned ones......
............so you think you the sh*t because you got first chair violin huh?
.......................you play basketball/volleyball huh?
...................(we were all on the same damn team
)................oh your pops works at a chemical plant huh? So y'all rich? Who you f*ckin?"
...............and the hell and bullying pursued.
(and no we weren't rich but before his cancer diagnosis my pops had a lot of money stacked up so folks thought we were balling).
And in 6th grade it was my first time seeing someone young pregnant in P.E. It was some black chick who was pregnant with her 3rd kid and I got screamed at by the black girls for looking at her. I had never seen that before.
. It was scary to me.
But I think she was older; she look like she failed several times because this chick was too big and grown for her age.
The black girls were all screaming at me "b*tch you act like you ain't never seen no pregnant b*tch before h*e!
" and I'm all "
I'm 11 I've never been pregnant I like barbies!!! leave me alone!!!
"................. but eventually one of the big black girls came in all
..............she was the size of a damn heavyweight. NO ONE F*CKED WITH HER AT ALL! She's like the Laila Ali crossed between a Nia Jax of our school
.
She's still sweet to this day and I will never forget that
. She saved my ass and told me that I really need to learn how to fight.
High school was hell 10 times over.
....it got to the point to where some of my teachers pulled me to the side and told me that if I gotta fight then do it; don't start anything just finish it they got me.
(Shout out to Coach Shaw
)
The same thing....................."who you f*ckin?
.............why you ain't got no kids?
Oh so you think you better than us?
Why you so light you bleaching?
You must eat p*ssy if you ain't dating
". .............ME: "um no dating allowed. No thanks....I gotta go to orchestra....bye.........
" (strict parents who I thank them for this today
).
I've liked boys and all despite it never turning into nothing due to my parents and me not being wild but I remember one guy told me because I won't f*ck he can't be my friend anymore -- so I got picked on for that by one of the girls who's pictures went around the school of her giving oral on top of a car. Yes the black kids in my school had their sexual heroes.
So more picking followed for being a virgin.
Black guys spitting copenhagen in bottles and throwing it at me........cigs thrown at me......the itching powder thing happened in Spanish class (and his ass never graduated
)........getting made fun of more and more by hoodrats.............then one day I snapped. I got into a major a** fight. One of my boys had to jump in. I have never had to defend myself like that before..............until my first "girl fight" years later in college (smh).
So off and on I got into tussles with guys......which is why I have major trust issues with people and I stay to myself. I have less than 10 people that I seriously talk to and we're all scattered. So I tend to be hard heart wise when you meet me; very stern sprinkled with a little bit of niceness.
I will smile but not open up too much. I keep my eyes on people because of it.