My eyes are watering.This is a true story that no one ever believes but yes i have. The first time i had a 'serious' girl, i was very into her. We went out for like a month and she would get off work and come over to my place to spend the night. Usually i would be at work but this one time i took off to surprise her. I got some beef tips from walmart that i put in the microwave and i was going to tell her i cooked them with some egg noodles. i was gonna get it in brehs. now when i got to my place, i noticed a sound like the washing machine was on, so i thought she was already home. after about fifteen minutes i actually went upstairs to see what she was doing. when i opened the door i saw some Pretty Tony lookin dude pounding her out in missionary. i stifled a scream but i just saw red brehs. i couldn't fight, but i knew i had to do something. i went back downstairs, got the beef tips off the counter, went back upstairs, and here is where it gets crazy, i tripped and fell on some draws or stockings or some kinda shyt before i could throw it on them. Face-planted right into that shyt. The next shyt happened like a dream. Like in Call of Duty, when some dramatic shyt happens in story mode and it slows time down, i looked up in slow motion and dude was standing over me with his nakedness right in my face. He was laughing like i was some kind of bytch. Brehs, no lie, i felt like some alien power enter into me. I dragon-punched the absolute shyt out this dude's junk. I didn't say the words like dude says in the game, but i know i screamed like a war-cry. The power of it lifted him like 5 inches off the ground. We dated for like 2 months after that, but i have never known true love since.




This wasn't true love

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