He doesn't want to commit

[Turbulent]

This ya first dude right? So he took ya V-card?

There aint a whole lot you can do to make him wanna commit if he already hit. A woman shows her worth/wifeability before sex. And I don't mean some basic as ol "wait X days to let him hit" shyt. How you ACT before sex is most important. Most women get too high on their power trip over controlling sex that they give their own actions no thought because the assume getting a man to commit to you is easy as getting on to fukk you. They expect nikkas to be all after sex just because they are, even if they were a total bytch beforehand.

Re-check how you portrayed yourself when yall was just talking:

- Were you flaky?
- Were you only sometimey in regards to replying to his texts
- We're you too eager/available?
- Do you lie? (doesn't matter if you got caught)
- Did you play games?
- Did you demand shyt and talk about things you "deserved"
- Did you/ Do you talk to him about things other than yourself and stuff you're interested in?
- Did you make him wait an absurd number of dates before letting him it? (tho it's understandable if you're a virgin)

If you did those to me I'd set your status to "hit and quit" way before it actually happens.

Just remember it could always be your fault. It's very possible that it's just him tho. If you really want a relationship you probably gonna have to cut him and do better next time around

i just wish bytches would realize this.

 

[Zandía]

What do you get out of chasing commitment?
Why are you chasing a disabled guy?

Lmao! I mean he does get disability. That's a fact. However, he's not a cripple. He walks with a limp from a work accident and is on pain meds. Like.... It's not as serious as he's making it out to be. In my opinion of course.

Somehow a lot of us women believe that commitment solidifies our value/desirability/attractiveness. Some of us believe it's just the normal next step. Like were on a schedule or something. It's part of a to do list. It's a host of reasons to be honest.

 

[Zandía]

Can we discuss why you are dating a cripple
are u ugly or something
what kinda L is this ? ur being played by a disabled man
don't some of u women have pride or self esteem ?

a few questions. what is his disability? how severe? maybe he doesn't feel like you're about that life as far as caring for him.
how did the commitment convo come up? who brought it up and how?

see above post for the disability answer lol.
well like many women, b/c we spent a lot of time/money, had me around the fam, was giving me some of the best of my life on a regular... uh deep convos etc, always checkin in. I just assumed the next step would be to become officially bf/gf.
i now see our agendas were different. I think it fascinating how guys do all of that and only label us as a "friend"

 

[Taadow]

Shorty about to cut off her dream nikka just because dude isn't moving as fast as her when it comes to love and commitment.If the shyt y'all got going is good right now why fukk it up over some ego shyt?Just because dude isn't ready for commitment doesn't mean he's out here fukkin' all types of hoes.I just went through this with a female.I'm not trying to be in a relationship because I'm not trying to deal with the bullshyt relationship brings,let's not even get started on that raising a family shyt.Maybe son is the same way.Let him grow into a man before you try to cuff him.

Real talk.

I told this broad this not long ago: "WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE COO'??"

I mean, she's aight and we hang and alla that, but she acts like she wanna cuff me
and i'm kinda still feelin' her out, knamtalmbat?

OP - I think you're doing the right thing right now. Don't fix it if it ain't brizzoke.

...but yeah, if you find another dude that's dyne to ride, you gotta keep it 100%
with both parties...

 

[Taadow]

i just wish bytches would realize this.

You know why they don't, though?

Because a lot of times, what dude said is exactly what happens! lol

Dudes get that first hit and if she got DUH BOOOOOOOOMB, then she does have him...

 

[Marvel]

@Zandía

Do you know how many women like you force commit on a man and you still end up filing for divorce? A LOT. Men know that women are fickle and change like the wind. A man wants to be 100% sure of his decision in this society because we are the ones that suffer much of the consequences when you decide to end the marriage.

 

[Meadow]

This is the first and only guy I have dealt with where I can say nothing about him really bothers me. I literally have no complaints, well, except for the fact that he does not want to commit.
He sees himself as being disabled and says he cannot be the partner or father he wants to be because of his perceived issues.

That being said, I'm done with trying to prove myself to men. I'm done trying to make them change their minds. I am done pushing for a commitment. Not saying I ever did this with him, but I have done this in the past to others.

With that, I've mostly accepted that he won't commit to me. I'm still around because I enjoy our time together. I'm still talking to and will date other men because I do want a long-term commitment one day. When I get serious with someone I will cut him off.

Question 1 is: should I just cut him off now because I know this is not going where I want it to?

Question 2 is: does this sound like a legitimate reason not to commit? I mean it is, any reason is legit. I just wonder if it's just that he doesn't want to commit to me in particular?

I will admit that I'm going to be salty and hurt to hell if he commits to the next one after me.

Question 2.5 is: should I ask him that directly, next time we get nice and baked? Hopefully the trees act as truth serum...


And lastly...

Question 3: on a scale 1 to 5, 5 being the most basic... How do you all perceive me based on the questions above?

You're wasting your time. Don't think he'll budge if you wait. If anything, you might appear as someone who doesn't know their own worth. Sometimes folks aren't ready - maybe because it's not the right person or it's not the right time. But that doesn't mean it's a reflection of you.

Don't sell yourself short. I wouldn't say cut him off (he didn't do anything to you but be honest about what he wants) but move on. There's other dudes out there who will give you what you want/need.

 

[BlackedOut]

Seems pretty straight forward to me. nikka aint trying to fukk up his section 8.

 

[Zandía]

Shorty about to cut off her dream nikka just because dude isn't moving as fast as her when it comes to love and commitment.If the shyt y'all got going is good right now why fukk it up over some ego shyt?Just because dude isn't ready for commitment doesn't mean he's out here fukkin' all types of hoes.I just went through this with a female.I'm not trying to be in a relationship because I'm not trying to deal with the bullshyt relationship brings,let's not even get started on that raising a family shyt.Maybe son is the same way.Let him grow into a man before you try to cuff him.

I think about this too, and tell myself I have control issues. Why mess up a bad thing? Then I wonder am I devaluing myself cuz Im sticking around even tho I am not getting what I want... I would tell a friend to move on.

1. You aint let him work hard enough to get in those panties
2. When he did get the puss, the feeling afterwards wasn't strong enough to have him hooked.

In conclusion, I suggest you just be friends and don't let him fukk again until he comes to you for commitment, otherwise you will be downgraded to jump off status.
side note: Women kill me. You have ALL the power and freely give it away

w/holding gets a committment? LMAO... gosh that line of thinking true as it maybe just seems so old school at times. Sometimes I just want some peen! Why does that make me less than commitment material? *sigh*

 

[AquaCityBoy]

He probably won't commit because you're built like a Gamecube and your p*ssy stinks like two week-old curry.

 

[Zandía]

@Zandía

Do you know how many women like you force commit on a man and you still end up filing for divorce? A LOT. Men know that women are fickle and change like the wind. A man wants to be 100% sure of his decision in this society because we are the ones that suffer much of the consequences when you decide to end the marriage.

so true! 70% of women in marriages initiated it, and 70% of divorces are initiated by wives. the only logical conclusion is.... we dont know what we want and/or change our minds a lot

 

[Ethnic Vagina Finder]

I think about this too, and tell myself I have control issues. Why mess up a bad thing? Then I wonder am I devaluing myself cuz Im sticking around even tho I am not getting what I want... I would tell a friend to move on.



w/holding gets a committment? LMAO... gosh that line of thinking true as it maybe just seems so old school at times. Sometimes I just want some peen! Why does that make me less than commitment material? *sigh*

If u not sure if he really feelin u like that it's the risk u take if give up the box too fast. Wanting some dikk and wanting a commitment are two different things.

 

[Zandía]

This ya first dude right? So he took ya V-card?

There aint a whole lot you can do to make him wanna commit if he already hit. A woman shows her worth/wifeability before sex. And I don't mean some basic as ol "wait X days to let him hit" shyt. How you ACT before sex is most important. Most women get too high on their power trip over controlling sex that they give their own actions no thought because the assume getting a man to commit to you is easy as getting on to fukk you. They expect nikkas to be all after sex just because they are, even if they were a total bytch beforehand.

Re-check how you portrayed yourself when yall was just talking:

- Were you flaky?
- Were you only sometimey in regards to replying to his texts
- We're you too eager/available?
- Do you lie? (doesn't matter if you got caught)
- Did you play games?
- Did you demand shyt and talk about things you "deserved"
- Did you/ Do you talk to him about things other than yourself and stuff you're interested in?
- Did you make him wait an absurd number of dates before letting him it? (tho it's understandable if you're a virgin)

If you did those to me I'd set your status to "hit and quit" way before it actually happens.

Just remember it could always be your fault. It's very possible that it's just him tho. If you really want a relationship you probably gonna have to cut him and do better next time around

trill post

 

[Zandía]

If u not sure if he really feelin u like that it's the risk u take if give up the box too fast. Wanting some dikk and wanting a commitment are two different things.

I think that is another thing too that some women struggle with, me included. We force the issue of committed relationships sometimes b/c we like fukking. And family/friends/society says its only right in a real committed relationship. So its an external pressure that we conform ourselves to and try to get these men to conform to as well.
plus theres the biology of it all, bang someone enough and u feel attached. so many of my girls are out here tryna cuff aint ish dudes! Why?! First line of defense, I tell them stop banging him ASAP!

so much good advice in here. Id rep but Im not allowed :-/

Seems pretty straight forward to me. nikka aint trying to fukk up his section 8.

fooling. LMAO

 

[Michael's Black Son]

LMAO piece of advice cut him off bc I have been that guy

He already has a woman or knows the ideal woman he wants to commit to you just not it

this.

you kick it with the basic chick but never commit because once you get your ish together (unassisted) you're gonna want what compliments that track that you're on. It's not necessary a new main chick but the company of women. And not even all women that youre smashing either