He doesn't want to commit

[BrehWyatt]

One of my best friends went through that ish with a mutual friend of mine. She was (and is) head over heels in love with the guy, and he was scared to commit. She wanted him desperately to take that next step, and just by talking to the dude, I could tell from the words he'd say that he was feeling her like that, too, but he hadn't been in a relationship before and she didn't match up with his perceived idea of the kind of female that he'd end up dating, looks-wise. It was like he was looking for reasons not to commit. But, she held out in hopes that he'd come around and go from, "It is what it is, and I'm happy with what we're doing now" to "this is a relationship." He eventually came around, and that was that. Beforehand, she pretty much accepted whatever they had because she feels like he's the one and felt that as long as she had his company in some facet, she was content. Not satisfied, but content i.e. "it's better than nothing."

From what I'm gathering, you are a lot like the friend I'm talking about. Except that you're exploring other options because he's giving you everything except the C-word.

I say that to say this: if you think this dude is gonna be a significant part of your life, then stick it out and hope he comes around on his own. Don't rush or pressure him.

However, if you don't think that, you have no reason to wait around. From what you're saying, the only red flag you've seen with this cat is that he's not ready to commit yet. That comes with time and patience. Either way, enjoy what you have now, until he either comes around or you find someone willing to give you whatever it is you want.

 

[Crakface]

This is the first and only guy I have dealt with where I can say nothing about him really bothers me. I literally have no complaints, well, except for the fact that he does not want to commit.
He sees himself as being disabled and says he cannot be the partner or father he wants to be because of his perceived issues.

That being said, I'm done with trying to prove myself to men. I'm done trying to make them change their minds. I am done pushing for a commitment. Not saying I ever did this with him, but I have done this in the past to others.

With that, I've mostly accepted that he won't commit to me. I'm still around because I enjoy our time together. I'm still talking to and will date other men because I do want a long-term commitment one day. When I get serious with someone I will cut him off.

Question 1 is: should I just cut him off now because I know this is not going where I want it to?

Question 2 is: does this sound like a legitimate reason not to commit? I mean it is, any reason is legit. I just wonder if it's just that he doesn't want to commit to me in particular?

I will admit that I'm going to be salty and hurt to hell if he commits to the next one after me.

Question 2.5 is: should I ask him that directly, next time we get nice and baked? Hopefully the trees act as truth serum...


And lastly...

Question 3: on a scale 1 to 5, 5 being the most basic... How do you all perceive me based on the questions above?

You must not be giving head, cooking and have a gushing twat on a regular basis. O, and your a weedhead This is a typical symptom of women desperate to be wifed up.

 

[mcdivit85]

Life is pretty simple.....people complicate it by thinking too much about the incorrect sh#t.

If you want a relationship and he doesn't, then you need to stop wasting your time and find someone who wants the same thing as you WITH YOU.

See how simple that is?

For whatever reason, dude is not interested in a relationship. It could be because of his disability. It could be because he doesn't feel as strongly about you as you do about him. Either way, he's not able to give you what you want. So, if you were at a car dealership looking for an AWD vehicle, and that dealership had none, what would you do?

Here's the game, men and women know who they want to be with and it doesn't take them long to figure out..

If a dude is giving you the "I'm just not ready for a relationship" or "You're a great catch but" lines or any other variation, then more times than not its simply an issue of him not feeling you enough to take you off the market. Because trust me, if a dude really likes you, then he's going to put a title on you just to make sure no one else does. Men and women are territorial when it comes to the person they want.

Don't be a lame....don't let dudes run weak game on you....don't let dudes run that "I'm not ready" sh#t because those same dudes would be breaking their neck to lock down an IG model if they could. Need evidence? You're on The Coli.

Stop Cheating Yourself by staying with someone who doesn't want you and start Treating Yourself by putting yourself in position to find someone who wants you just as much as you want them.

No matter what, always keep your dignity....never stay with someone who acts anything less than happy to have you. NEVER.

Peace

 

[Zandía]

You must not be giving head, cooking and have a gushing twat on a regular basis. O, and your a weedhead This is a typical symptom of women desperate to be wifed up.

Lmao... Smoking is not a habitual thing for me. Wouldn't call myself a weed head.

As far as the rest... Not sure if serious

 

[Mike Ock]

 

[Crakface]

Lmao... Smoking is not a habitual thing for me. Wouldn't call myself a weed head.

As far as the rest... Not sure if serious

You want to love a man the way you feel like loving him instead of the way he needs to be loved. I'm dead serious about what I said. If you aren't doing that consistently you will always get into failed relationships unless you find a super simp who puts your needs before his but women typically grow to resent these types of clowns.

 

[iBrowse]

This is the first and only guy I have dealt with where I can say nothing about him really bothers me. I literally have no complaints, well, except for the fact that he does not want to commit.
He sees himself as being disabled and says he cannot be the partner or father he wants to be because of his perceived issues.

That being said, I'm done with trying to prove myself to men. I'm done trying to make them change their minds. I am done pushing for a commitment. Not saying I ever did this with him, but I have done this in the past to others.

With that, I've mostly accepted that he won't commit to me. I'm still around because I enjoy our time together. I'm still talking to and will date other men because I do want a long-term commitment one day. When I get serious with someone I will cut him off.

Question 1 is: should I just cut him off now because I know this is not going where I want it to?

Question 2 is: does this sound like a legitimate reason not to commit? I mean it is, any reason is legit. I just wonder if it's just that he doesn't want to commit to me in particular?

I will admit that I'm going to be salty and hurt to hell if he commits to the next one after me.

Question 2.5 is: should I ask him that directly, next time we get nice and baked? Hopefully the trees act as truth serum...


And lastly...

Question 3: on a scale 1 to 5, 5 being the most basic... How do you all perceive me based on the questions above?

You need to leave now and ask yourself what you want in a dude...based on:

With that, I've mostly accepted that he won't commit to me. I'm still around because I enjoy our time together. I'm still talking to and will date other men because I do want a long-term commitment one day. When I get serious with someone I will cut him off.

It appears that you're actively seeking another dude to take that next step with you while you're still in a relationship with this guy. Honestly, that sounds a little fukked up because he's still investing time into being with you and you're stringing him along until something better comes along.....ooorrr you still feel as though he will change, which won't likely happen. You need to leave dude now and really figure out what it is you want or "need". Don't rely on drugs or sex or whatever for an answer because you might get the answer you want but it doesn't mean dude will follow through once that post-high/post-nut clarity kicks in...my girl tries that shyt all the time with me.

Most girls always expect to change us, but it typically doesn't happen...so imma give you a 4 on the scale and K.I.M.