Homeless Over an Eggplant :-(

[Devilinurear]

This situation is so messed up.

My home girl stays with her man. He comes home yesterday with his home boy who they jokingly refer to as '3 Arm Johnny'.

Anyway Johnny comes in the house living up to his name in some basketball shorts. She said the 3rd arm's hang time was so crazy you could see the tip hanging out the bottom.

She, of course, is horrified but her man sees her peeping the mushroom cap and flies into a rage and starts crying his eyes out. He confesses that his Vienna sausage could could never measure up the long arm of the law Johnny is packing.

Her man then gets on a group chat telling his friends about how Johnny made him feel like less than a man in his own home and the proceeds to pack her shyt crying the whole about a man is 'more than a dikk you whore':shaking:.

She tries to go on group chat and plead her case but the damage is done. Baby girl sitting in the Holiday Inn as we speak.

Cold world. :Sadsmiley:

Lmao

 

[CookDat]

Wouldn't have let Superdikk into the house to begin with if he was dressed like a manthot with meatprint all on display. Nope. Take that shyt somewhere else Johnny.

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Wouldn't have let Superdikk into the house to begin with if he was dressed like a manthot with meatprint all on display. Nope. Take that shyt somewhere else Johnny.

Superdikk :funny:

 

[analog]

Damn, that's fukked up.

That's why before I get serious about a girl, I make it a must to go over her crib and find her adult toys. If I'm snoopin' around her crib and I find that dildo stash with them 6 inch dildos with no girth, my confidence raises exponentially.

If she got them 12 inch, fat ass dildos, I begin my exit strategy.

Joke about your insecurities with your girl and expect it to end well, brehs...

 

[intruder]

My home girl stays with her man. He comes home yesterday with his home boy who they jokingly refer to as '3 Arm Johnny'.

Anyway Johnny comes in the house living up to his name in some basketball shorts. She said the 3rd arm's hang time was so crazy you could see the tip hanging out the bottom.

She, of course, is horrified but her man sees her peeping the mushroom cap and flies into a rage and starts crying his eyes out.

So...when are you gonna invite Johnny to crash on your couch for the night?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

So...when are you gonna invite Johnny to crash on your couch for the night?

I don't know Johnny

 

[intruder]

I don't know Johnny

Don't be shy. Just act like you coming over to see your girl. If you see Johnny and you feeling the breh just invite him over for coffee.
Why y'all always afraid to make the first move?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Don't be shy. Just act like you coming over to see your girl. If you see Johnny and you feeling the breh just invite him over for coffee.
Why y'all always afraid to make the first move?

I am not interested in Johnny nor his massive appendage.

 

[Apollo Creed]

She fukked up for tying her finances and home situation to a man in the first place. New p*ssy could come by and she would be ass out anyway.
No excuse for women not to have multiple hustles these days. May a chick never have to suck a dikk to survive.

Secondly, imma need for this dikk shaming shyt to be deaded. People not being real. Chicks are just looking for ways to shame dudes b/c they are resentful of them. Sex is more mental anyway and porn has fukked up people's perspective.
If a chick loves the guy, his smedium dikk won't even matter.

I hope you meant tying her finances to someone she isnt married to, and either way of she cant afford to move out when needed then she got bigger things to worry about.

 

[Apollo Creed]

He shoulda thrown that nikka out. Or told him to put some fukking pants on. What man walks around another man's house with his sausage showing? Wait... is this a @Buckeye Fever story?

Johnny aint have no respect for his “homeboy” as a man

 

[ColdSlither]

Or maybe we're looking at this all wrong. Homegirl is the one who got kicked out. No mention of dude telling his boy to make the eggplant not so obvious looking. Maybe he wants some eggplant for himself.

 

[Sex Luthor]

That nikka weak as fukk. I don't care if a nikka had to sling it over his shoulder I'm not bout to flip out about it. All I know is i never had complaints and I'll give that ass this work. If she looking and she a hoe what that make him? He looked too. Cry over another nikkas dikk breh

 

[Methodical]

You gotta love a spin thread.

 

[intruder]

I am not interested in Johnny nor his massive appendage.

All i'm saying is let's get you in a room alone with Johnny and see how it plays out

But really if this story is true shyt is hilarious. Reminds me of this old song by a haitian artists called Coupé-Cloué where he sings about being a "sausage vendor" Of course growing up in Haiti and hearing this song when we were like 7 years old we'd innocently repeat the lyrics and grown folks would smack us in the mouth for saying it. We honestly thought the shyt was about sausages. Turns out all of Coupé's music had sexual innuendo.
It's now as an adult as i listen to these songs and i'm like

Just to give you an idea, this is album cover ...

@Soundbwoy @LeVraiPapi , Ya'll remember this?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

All i'm saying is let's get you in a room alone with Johnny and see how it plays out

But really if this story is true shyt is hilarious. Reminds me of this old song by a haitian artists called Coupé-Cloué where he sings about being a "sausage vendor" Of course growing up in Haiti and hearing this song when we were like 7 years old we'd innocently repeat the lyrics and grown folks would smack us in the mouth for saying it. We honestly thought the shyt was about sausages. Turns out all of Coupé's music had sexual innuendo.
It's now as an adult as i listen to these songs and i'm like

Just to give you an idea, this is album cover ...

@Soundbwoy @LeVraiPapi , Ya'll remember this?

Why would I be alone in a room with a man I have no sexual interest in?