Hours after 1st Date She Let Another Man Hit | Boyfriend finds out 4 Months Later

[Ahadi]

My god some of you are retarded but whatever, i will play along.

In nothing I have said thus far said that you "own" someone after a first date or after that. All I am saying and like some others are saying is if you are dating with the expressed purpose of a serious relationship, you should not be fukking other people during that time. If you are dating in order to build a "roster" then more power to you.

If you are entertaining multiple people while fukking other people then be fukking honest with the people that you are trying to date. "I know this date is going real well but just want to let you know i am fukking other people and will continue until I think you are the one for me." is something people are not saying because they know what they fukking result would be.

Be honest with the person you are initially dating that you are fukking other women, but you won't because you know how that will go. But to be completely honest, if you do not see a problem slanging dikk to other women while dating someone then you really should not be dating.

Yup. Guys end up losing their intimacy investment, and women lose their financial investment.

When you take a step back, it’s usually the guy putting everything together anyway, the planning, effort, time, and yes, money.

And no, it’s not about “complaining over a lil money.”
It’s about consideration, respect, and reciprocity.



That whole “I don’t care if she’s sleeping around because I’m doing the same” logic doesn’t make it right, it just means neither of you is taking dating seriously.

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

I was confused why she was holding on to them. Everybody knows when you get in a committed relationship all old texts and photos gotta disappear

Texts sure, my pornos and shyt I filmed with a broad aimt ever getting deleted.

 

[folasade]

I don't know why they are making it so complicated. It's literally 1+1=2 but they're trying to throw x, y, z in the equation. Some of these dudes love arguing more than women

There's too much overthinking for what could have a been a one and done date. I don't want to say that they are necessarily sexless when they really view women as their property and not human beings.

 

[Mordith]

I struck a nerve on these hoe nikkas

Pro black website making fun of a young breh’s old situation cuz I asked why are y’all comparing y’all selves to women

But it makes sense y’all just like them bytches

Glad to know y’all spend bread on hoes who fukking behind y’all back

https://media1.tenor.com/m/H5AR5eR-ZPwAAAAC/acting-like-a-

bytch.gif

 

[num123]

If the other person is not doing that, then that's their choice. You can't get mad at the other person for having casual sex when you've chosen not to in the early stages of dating.


You've never heard of that situation because that's not it goes in the real world. You don't need to hyper-fixate on what the other person is doing so early on. It's just one date and you might not even see them again. Now if you are going on multiple dates and you aren't having sex or if you want exclusivity, you should communicate that in a normal way and ask what they want and state what you want. If that doesn't align, move on and don't take it personal.

Again, you and others are missing the point. I would be perfectly fine with someone being upfront saying that they are dating (or just fukking) other people while with the person they are with, that is cool. People do not do that however, because they know the response they would get would not be positive.

Man or woman, the average person is not going to have a positive response if the person that they are with was fukking with other people while they were dating. As crazy as it may seem, but not everyone out here has a roster of people they are cycling through and fukking regularly. If you live that lifestyle and want something serious, either stop doing that or be upfront with the person you are dating about your lifestyle.

 

[Scaaar]

Texts sure, my pornos and shyt I filmed with a broad aimt ever getting deleted.

Put those in the locked folder that need fingerprint authentication

 

[Pure Water]

The OP should probably be updated. Dude left his girl.

 

[Apprentice]

I’m good gang y’all tried that though lol

Get that hate out ya heart you too old for that

 

[num123]

Yup. Guys end up losing their intimacy investment, and women lose their financial investment.

When you take a step back, it’s usually the guy putting everything together anyway, the planning, effort, time, and yes, money.

And no, it’s not about “complaining over a lil money.”
It’s about consideration, respect, and reciprocity.



That whole “I don’t care if she’s sleeping around because I’m doing the same” logic doesn’t make it right, it just means neither of you is taking dating seriously.

And the bolded is the problem: people playing fast and loose with "dating". Dating for one person is not the same for other people and dating with a "roster" is not a common occurrence, no matter how people may say it is.

If you feel it is no problem doing that then let everyone you date from the first one that you are on that type of timing, let them decide whether they want to continue the date or not.

 

[Scaaar]

All of what you said is well and good. He's not entitled to anything, and she very well could not have wanted to rush. Her reasoning is her reasoning. But reading through that thread provides more info that may be key to this whole thing.

- She was setting up her next play 20 minutes after the date (according to that thread, the timing of that bothered him). A good first date will have you trying to set the next one up ASAP as opposed to setting up your next session.

- The guy who posted about said that their first date was fairly run of the mill but from what he gathered, she didn't seem all that into him, so he didn't try to make any moves. Later, he found out that wasn't the case and she actually liked him. He mentions a running joke among the friend groups being that they had to be convinced to do a second date, and the third date is where they got on track.

- When confronted, she said that the person she ended up fukking was someone she had dated in the past, but that person didn't want a relationship with her. About a month after the OP and the girl got together, the other cat reached out to her but was promptly shut down and blocked. She also said that if it were the other way around, she wouldn't like it either.

- Guy said he has a "no sex on the first date" rule he goes by. Perhaps if not for that, she doesn't have to set up the next play.

So in essence he played himself with his rules. Psyched himself out because he thought she wasn't feeling him. Yet continued to pursue and ended up in a relationship down the line. Yet his insecurities still bothered him and he sought out and found out that his own rules on the first date tricked himself outta potentially getting the box that night lol

 

[num123]

Again like I said you're right telling people up front that you're dating other people at the same time. But you also can't control what they do. That's why we all have free will/free choice to make our own decisions. I'm upfront with everyone but I get tested throughout the year and have my paperwork so telling them that I'm dating other people doesn't move the needle. But asking someone on the first date about their sex life and who they're having sex with is dumb and invasive. You're supposed to be getting to know them and seeing if you have chemistry outside of sex. But a majority of y'all have whittled yourselves down to what y'all can provide and sex so that's all y'all have to fall back on when it comes to interacting with women. That's why y'all are so hard pressed about what she's doing with her body.

If I am just chilling or relaxing with a woman and just trying to fukk then I do not care if she is fukking other people, it is what it is. However, when I date I am monogamous and expect the person I am with to be the same. It does not take months to figure out if you like someone or not, so not fukking someone else during that time is no problem.

 

[Ohene]

I feel like not scheduling yourself to get fukked immediately after our date isn't a big ask but I guess I'm a prude

You go out on a date with a girl
It’s a good date and you feeling her but it didn’t go anywhere physically yet

You go home around 10pm and a girl who you know that’s attractive is leaving the club and wants to come over and kick it. You ain’t had sex in a month. What you finna do?

 

[Ohene]

All of what you said is well and good. He's not entitled to anything, and she very well could not have wanted to rush. Her reasoning is her reasoning. But reading through that thread provides more info that may be key to this whole thing.

- She was setting up her next play 20 minutes after the date (according to that thread, the timing of that bothered him). A good first date will have you trying to set the next one up ASAP as opposed to setting up your next session.

- The guy who posted about said that their first date was fairly run of the mill but from what he gathered, she didn't seem all that into him, so he didn't try to make any moves. Later, he found out that wasn't the case and she actually liked him. He mentions a running joke among the friend groups being that they had to be convinced to do a second date, and the third date is where they got on track.

- When confronted, she said that the person she ended up fukking was someone she had dated in the past, but that person didn't want a relationship with her. About a month after the OP and the girl got together, the other cat reached out to her but was promptly shut down and blocked. She also said that if it were the other way around, she wouldn't like it either.

- Guy said he has a "no sex on the first date" rule he goes by. Perhaps if not for that, she doesn't have to set up the next play.

Let’s be reality

Even if a date is good you not going set up the next up the next immediately. A guy is going to play it cool and a woman is going to leave it in the man’s court and follow his lead no pun intended

 

[Dallas' 4 Eva]

Put those in the locked folder that need fingerprint authentication

shyt my current girl watched the flick I made with her former associate, she was like 'You was fukking the shyt outta that bytch!!! Damn her ass got fat after she had her baby.' That's how I knew my girl was special she be on the same type of vibe and time I'm on. It didn't happen while we was together so who cares about it, all that matters is what happens while we are together.

 

[ItWasMeThough]

people stay ignoring red flags.

Yeah cause she was dating in the first place to find someone to commit to her, get into a relationship with and then to fukk someone else after the date, who has no interest in committing to her, ain’t it. But that’s just me. I have no interest in casual sex, fukking someone who won’t commit to me. I would rather go home to my vibrator