How can black women do right by black men?

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@Booksnrain Funny story: I had a Korean chick call me not black enough because at the time I was more reserved/quiet. Hung out more with white and asian girls (not on purpose, just by lack of us around). I purposely joined the black history club to spend more time with people who looked at me.This girls was given free pass to enter (you know how our door is opened to everyone). And she was bossing these big gyal/slick mouthed west Indian girls and these girls were going with it, when if it was another black chick doing the same thing they would cut up quick.

Anyway, I got pissed off and told her off that she is a visitor, and not black and need to stop trying with her Afro perm to think she can be us just because she imitates our style and slang. Girlfriend got pissed and called me racist and left the group. The other girls who though me too meek, cheered on as soon as they had left. Personally, I was disgusted how much these black girls were kissing this Asian's girls feet and had no guts to stand up to her and it came down to little old me.

I am in my 20s and I see a lot of this with black girls especially those living in the city (I live in the suburbs). Also I get my beauty inspiration from other BW and those are the ones who I put the utmost of my support. I am not accepting a sorry imitation of the real thing, that is why so many of these non-black chicks don't impress me when a black girl can do the same thing and better.

It's that same self-esteem white person's ice is better mentality. It's sad to see sis.

 

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Leave it to African bedwenches to turn the thread into a pity party for BW

The cycle will continue for most BW because of no accountability.

Now we got you bozos trying to stir the pot.

How is acknowledging legitimate mental issues and the need for counseling a pity party? Blk women need to account for that so they aren't putting emotional landmines into the dating scene and the world. Self-care IS accountability. How we gon win when we ain't right within?

But that's another thing, showing vulnerability doesn't = wanting pity. This whole tough act spiel is a mantle that is far too heavy for blk females and blk males to continue to carry. How can u be feminine when we not even allowed to express vulnerability? shyt is stunting blk men too b/c blk dudes aren't allowed to have one vulnerable moment without being accused of being homosexual. Which is something else I'd add to blk women: provide a safe space for blk dudes to be vulnerable and don't accuse them of weakness or having a "pity party" when they express themselves. And blk men please do the same for us. Empathy is running low these days.

 

[Jone2three45]

I don’t think marrying later is the issue. The problem is expecting/rushing marriage in such a short time frame. You are competeing against someone readiness and biological clock. On top of that both sexes have to worry about baggage, and some sort of mental abuse from previous relationships. I think we should steer younger people to live free, and I think we already have but learn some structure on how to build with someone even if that takes years or a decade. Most men respect the process. If both are building each other up through the years(not 1-5) then it will be no doubt that marriage should come after all the hard work.