How can men get over emotional baggage?

[hatechall]

It's obvious that a lot of coli brehs are carrying heavy baggage, myself included. It's why nikkas create thread after thread about rejection, wenching, female disloyalty, etc. I understand that all men do this, so I'm not singling out the coli.

My question is how do we help men get over it? Is that even possible? I don't believe the issue is sex per se, I think it has more to do with feelings of worthlessness. I think a lot of men are seeking a kind of unconditional love that simply might not exist, in which case, maybe the best we can do is advocate for legalized prostitution. Least that way, men can release their frustration sexually, without violence and without the possibility of facing jail time.

What are your thoughts? And please refrain from posting stupid cliches like, "hit the gym" or "chase money not hoes," etc.

 

[HellRell804]

What you are witnessing is the anger stage. That's what happens when a man realizes that he's been lied to for most of his life. A lot of us in the black community are raised to worship women (usually by a mother lacking in actual romantic prospects). Therefore when you turn 20 whatever and you realize holding doors open, unending compliments, constantly deferring, etc not only doesn't work, it actually will make you less attractive, it pisses you off.

On the flip side, peep the visceral reaction women get when men talk about ciara and Russell. When women see how actual men respond, not the "betas", "providers", "losers", or whatever you want to call them, its a realization that they too have been lied to. You can't slut it up throughout your youth and still land a top tier man, you have a better shot at winning the lottery. Men will always be averse to wifing hoes.

Now women being women, are gonna double down on the delusion. A lot of men too. They'll spend the rest of their lives making the same mistakes over and over again looking for a unicorn.

But the men who accept life for what it is, calm their anger, and focus on self improvement, the world is theirs.

Pecking order:
"Greater" Men (alphas, winners, whatever)

Beautiful women

Average women (used to be average men but they fell for the equality okey doke)

Average men

Unattractive men

Unattractive women

That coupe average women pulled on average men is the cause of a lot of dysfunction...

 

[Neil Tyson]

punch a wall.

 

[Charlie Hustle]

Why would "hit the gym" be a stupid cliche? Hitting the gym is a form of self improvement. You can use it to focus and release those negative emotions you have from that bad break up Once you've vented those negative emotions you can really focus on a professional development and growing wealth.............. and not chasing immoral, promiscuous woman .


This will pay dividends to uplifting your self-concept.

Stay away from drugs and liquor while you have these issues. It only helps to marinate those negative feelings that you haven't resolved.

 

[SheWantTheD]

If something with a particular chick you liked didn't recently work out then take a break from looking for anything serious. Go fukk some random chicks if that's what you're about. Don't even try to force it. Just relax and let these chicks come into your vicinity.

Why are you feeling worthless though? Do something small that you've always waned to do, It will make you feel great. Complete a small goal today. Strike up a conversation with a random stranger that's not in a rush anywhere like on a bus stop or somewhere. Enjoy yourself and this life. The weather is getting better also, and sunny warm weather lifts the spirit.

Go to the park, bask in the fresh air, sun, etc.

Good luck breh, we've all been there!

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

What you are witnessing is the anger stage. That's what happens when a man realizes that he's been lied to for most of his life. A lot of us in the black community are raised to worship women (usually by a mother lacking in actual romantic prospects). Therefore when you turn 20 whatever and you realize holding doors open, unending compliments, constantly deferring, etc not only doesn't work, it actually will make you less attractive, it pisses you off.

On the flip side, peep the visceral reaction women get when men talk about ciara and Russell. When women see how actual men respond, not the "betas", "providers", "losers", or whatever you want to call them, its a realization that they too have been lied to. You can't slut it up throughout your youth and still land a top tier man, you have a better shot at winning the lottery. Men will always be averse to wifing hoes.

Now women being women, are gonna double down on the delusion. A lot of men too. They'll spend the rest of their lives making the same mistakes over and over again looking for a unicorn.

But the men who accept life for what it is, calm their anger, and focus on self improvement, the world is theirs.

Pecking order:
"Greater" Men (alphas, winners, whatever)

Beautiful women

Average women (used to be average men but they fell for the equality okey doke)

Average men

Unattractive men

Unattractive women

That coupe average women pulled on average men is the cause of a lot of dysfunction...

I'm going to soak this up. There are some hard truths in your post. A lot of this hit home with me. I was raised by all women. I had an older brother who was an alpha. I went through the "lives not fair" phase after reality punched me in the dikk. Luckily I'm Sag/Scorpio, I KIM. I sucked it up and I'm thriving because I focus all my energy on developing myself into the best version of me. I've learned the best response is no response. And if it doesn't benefit me or my community it doesn't concern me.

 

[hatechall]

What you are witnessing is the anger stage. That's what happens when a man realizes that he's been lied to for most of his life. A lot of us in the black community are raised to worship women (usually by a mother lacking in actual romantic prospects). Therefore when you turn 20 whatever and you realize holding doors open, unending compliments, constantly deferring, etc not only doesn't work, it actually will make you less attractive, it pisses you off.

On the flip side, peep the visceral reaction women get when men talk about ciara and Russell. When women see how actual men respond, not the "betas", "providers", "losers", or whatever you want to call them, its a realization that they too have been lied to. You can't slut it up throughout your youth and still land a top tier man, you have a better shot at winning the lottery. Men will always be averse to wifing hoes.

Now women being women, are gonna double down on the delusion. A lot of men too. They'll spend the rest of their lives making the same mistakes over and over again looking for a unicorn.

But the men who accept life for what it is, calm their anger, and focus on self improvement, the world is theirs.

Pecking order:
"Greater" Men (alphas, winners, whatever)

Beautiful women

Average women (used to be average men but they fell for the equality okey doke)

Average men

Unattractive men

Unattractive women

That coupe average women pulled on average men is the cause of a lot of dysfunction...

I realized this lesson long ago, but, at age 30, I still have a soft spot for black women. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's cause I've never slept with one and lately I've just been kinda desperate to have that experience. I've wasted a lot of time and energy over the past couple months chasing them, only to be rejected.

It pissed me off because they always claim that black men get rejected for pursuing women out of their league when that's far from my experience. Yesterday I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha". This has happened to me multiple times with black women of all types, so it's not because I'm pursuing the wrong types. I think it's more likely that I'm just not meant to be with one.

I never thought it would come to this but someday imma order me the baddest black escort in my city, all over her face and be done with it. From now on, I'm only using them for sex - - that's all they're really good for. Aside from the women in my immediate family, I just don't care about them.

 

[HellRell804]

I realized this lesson long ago, but, at age 30, I still have a soft spot for black women. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's cause I've never slept with one and lately I've just been kinda desperate to have that experience. I've wasted a lot of time and energy over the past couple months chasing them, only to be rejected.

It pissed me off because they always claim that black men get rejected for pursuing women out of their league when that's far from my experience. Yesterday I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha". This has happened to me multiple times with black women of all types, so it's not because I'm pursuing the wrong types. I think it's more likely that I'm just not meant to be with one.

I never thought it would come to this but someday imma order me the baddest black escort in my city, all over her face and be done with it. From now on, I'm only using them for sex - - that's all they're really good for. Aside from the women in my immediate family, I just don't care about them.

Hmm, I think I see where on the pecking order you fall in. All I can say is, get your money up homie

 

[1thouwow]

Coli psychologist, y'all.

 

[Charlie Hustle]

Yesterday I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha".

Consider that L a gift. Sounds like you're trying to hard and women can sense that. Nobody wants something nobody else wants. Just be chill and focus on YOU. The rest will follow.

 

[hatechall]

Hmm, I think I see where on the pecking order you fall in. All I can say is, get your money up homie

I've had a modest amount of success with white women

 

[SeveroDrgnfli]

It pissed me off

I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha".

it's not because I'm pursuing the wrong types. I think it's more likely that I'm just not meant to be with one.

@hatechall, you're not taking any responsibility in your relationship with black women. You just blamed fate and black women for you being 30, black, and unable to sleep with a girl of your own ethnicity. I'm 26 and damn near an orphan. Even I understand accountability.

From now on, I'm only using them for sex - - that's all they're really good for. Aside from the women in my immediate family, I just don't care about them.

@hatechall, you don't respect black women aside from the ones in your immediate family. That's why you can't land any. You're not respecting what you're pursuing.
Only good for sex, how would you know? You've never slept with one.




WTF, you don't care about BW, but you care enough about them to dedicate hella time recently pursuing them, making a thread about them online, and enough to pay one to sleep with you.

 

[Neuromancer]

Finally a thread that actually tries to help and not belittle.

 

[Neuromancer]

@hatechall, you're not taking any responsibility in your relationship with black women. You just blamed fate and black women for you being 30, black, and unable to sleep with a girl of your own ethnicity. I'm 26 and damn near an orphan. Even I understand accountability.

@hatechall, you don't respect black women aside from the ones in your immediate family. That's why you can't land any. You're not respecting what you're pursuing.

I have some reservation about this. There are men who don't respect women who land them. Hell so called misogynists bed women and don't respect them. So I don't know if this is always true.

 

[Neuromancer]

I realized this lesson long ago, but, at age 30, I still have a soft spot for black women. I'm not sure why, but maybe it's cause I've never slept with one and lately I've just been kinda desperate to have that experience. I've wasted a lot of time and energy over the past couple months chasing them, only to be rejected.

It pissed me off because they always claim that black men get rejected for pursuing women out of their league when that's far from my experience. Yesterday I got rejected by a fat, ugly single mother who claim she's looking for an "alpha". This has happened to me multiple times with black women of all types, so it's not because I'm pursuing the wrong types. I think it's more likely that I'm just not meant to be with one.

I never thought it would come to this but someday imma order me the baddest black escort in my city, all over her face and be done with it. From now on, I'm only using them for sex - - that's all they're really good for. Aside from the women in my immediate family, I just don't care about them.

Do you work on self improvement? Do you have any hobbies you focus on? Do you work out? What are your life goals? You need to focus on you.