I can't support anyone on here who is "pro-black community" but anti-marriage

[philmonroe]

A judge is not giving a grown ass man alimony.

Do ya googles its not about gender but about money. If you married a chick with money and got divorced you could get alimony.

I know a dude that lived off a woman for 7 years they got a divorce and he did not get anything she got child support though

Knowing 1 outlier does not make it truth. Cats always know that one person for any situation just to be/feel right. I know that 1 nikka that know Jesus personally ass nikkas lol.

 

[Will Ross]

Google is your friend, bb.

The avg judge is not going to give a man alimony.

 

[Ashley Banks]

we have to go over the definition of single parent again?




as for the first question, i understand women are looking out for their FINANCIAL security through marriage. which is whats annoying discussing this shyt with women. y'all try to pretend its all about love and commitment, ignoring your true intentions behind wanting that business contract.

so no, i dont think its smart for women to have children with men that refuses to marry them. if i were a chick, i'd be advocating for marriage too. but i'm a guy, and i understand how proper we get fukked in the courts. so, hey sticking w/my gender on this one

lol yeah because a man that only wants to get me pregnant is going to stay around, riiiiight. I think It's safe to say that if I get pregnant by a guy that refuses to marry me, I will be a single mother.

So you agree, it's dumb to have children with someone that doesn't want to marry you. That's all you had to say. You over here giving me a hard time, like you would be cool with your daughter getting pregnant by her boyfriend that refuses to marry her.

The avg judge is not going to give a man alimony.

Breh.....you do realize alimony is based on how much money you make not gender, right?

 

[marcuz]

lol yeah because a man that only wants to get me pregnant is going to stay around, riiiiight. I think It's safe to say that if I get pregnant by a guy that refuses to marry me, I will be a single mother.

not true at all, but it is a valid concern.

 

[Will Ross]

lol yeah because a man that only wants to get me pregnant is going to stay around. I think It's safe to say if I get pregnant by a guy that refuses to marry me, I will be a single mother.



Breh.....you do realize alimony is based on how much money you make not gender, right?

You said most men don't ask for alimony because of embarrassment. Now most judges happen to be men now if a judge hears a woman talk about a lazy man that she supported for years do you really think he is going to grant him alimony?

 

[Ashley Banks]

You said most men don't ask for alimony because of embarrassment. Now most judges happen to be men now if a judge hears a woman talk about a lazy man that she supported for years do you really think he is going to grant him alimony?

Yeah.....

 

[Kane]

Yall say we need to get married for more stability. How the fukk is marriage a stable institution when half of them end in divorce? That's not even counting the marriages where both parties are miserable but stay together for the kids and/or to save face (like my parents).

My uncle has been raising his daughter with his girl for 16 years and they've lived together the whole time. Never signed any bs piece of paper. My cousin turned out great.

A child having daily access to both parents is what's most important. Marriage is a dead institution and the numbers prove it.

 

[Data-Hawk]

I Agree with the OP. That's one of the strengths the Indians at my job have. all of them and I mean all of them are married, which means both parents are in the household. They actuLly look at me confused when I told them I have a son but not married.

 

[the next guy]

50%of marriages don't end In divorce. There are some demographics that have low rates of divorce. Older and college educated. White men and Asain women. White me and black women.

http://dailyinfographic.com/divorce-in-america-infographic

There is a problem in this society and it starts with the lack of commitment people have.

 

[marcuz]

I Agree with the OP. That's one of the strengths the Indians at my job have. all of them and I mean all of them are married, which means both parents are in the household. They actuLly look at me confused when I told them I have a son but not married.

are you living in the same home as the childs mother?

 

[Data-Hawk]

are you living in the same home as the childs mother?

Hell no. We don't get along( in a relationship ).lol. I have him on the weekends etc. But truly I think our case is different/special. My son is being raised/values installed in him by me,his mom, my parents,her parents,her sister and my brother. so it's a village type of affect, a lot of young black kids don't have.


He would be better off if we lived in the same household, just didn't work out that way.

 

[Kuwka_Atcha_Ratcha]

Marriage allows brothas a better chance at raising their seeds. Can't say the same if you just get a sista pregnant. It is basically up to her when/if you see the child.

this is so stupid my friend,

not only is marriage just a piece of paper, and a man made institution. but what if you're pro black and don't intend to have children?

 

[Kuwka_Atcha_Ratcha]

So you're basing this off the opinion that everyone wants to have kids? In a day in age where over 50% of marriages end in divorce. There is no reason to rush into marriage, whatsoever.

exactly bro this thread is stupid, not everyone wants children and further more I'd never marry to then risk everything ive worked for if it ggoes wrong

 

[Midrash]

Peep game.

I know a lot of cats don't like it but marriage is important even from a secular perspective. It allows families to BUILD wealth, pass inheritances, provide a stable environment to raise responsible American citizens who are self sufficient and contributing members of society. A black person who is averse to marriage has been lied to by white supremacist or either a complete idiot. Love and hip hop is NOT marriage, it's ghetto trash like a black version of Jersey shore. Get your Cosby, Everyone Hates Chris or Bernie Mac show on. Model black excellence. The only people who think marriage is a piece a paper are white trash idiots who are too stupid and immature to handle marriage. Marriage is an investment and you only get out what you put in.


The divorce rate is at 50% but that's including everyone from the dumbass who knocked up "that chick" after prom and got a shotgun wedding, all the way to Bill Gates. Look at the cup half full. There are steps you can take to decrease your rate of divorce.

-GO TO COLLEGE AND GRADUATE. Even some college is not effective but for those who get their bachelor's their divorce rates drop BY HALF. People who have enough maturity to survive 4+ years of college and see it to completion are going to be a much more mature people when committing to marriage. Yes there are exceptions to the rule but generally speaking, college helps with maturity which is a huge factor in making marriage last.

-DO NOT COHABITATE. I know it is easy to cohabitate with your girl/guy but this is one of the dumbest things you can do and it will make it harder to leave if you want to break up. Your housing decisions won't be based on logic or finances but emotion when cohabitating. If you want to save money on rent and expenses, get a roommate instead.

-DON'T GET MARRIED STRAIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE. You don't have a job or you either just got one, often this is the first time you actually are living on your own. You don't really know much about personal finance, how to cook, etc and you're in a really unstable point in your life. It's important that you spend your time getting your shyt together if you haven't figured it out in college. Get in shape, learn personal finance so you can budget your money wisely, start an emergency savings account, learn to cook, etc. You can date while doing this but DO NOT PUT A RING ON THAT FINGER DURING THIS TIME. You have almost 60+ years left in your life, you can wait few years to get married. Waiting until your 25+ instead of getting married right at 22 will save you so much trouble and will give you breathing room to get all of your wild party days "out of the system".

-BIRTH CONTROL, BIRTH CONTROL, BIRTH CONTROL. Tell your girlfriend to get an IUD if you can't trust her with birth control, take advantage of condoms for one night stands and be sure to use the pull out method as a just in case measure. If there is an accidental pregnancy, get that Plan B, it is NOT an abortion pill so do not hesitate to use it. Waiting until marriage to have kids will make marriage much easier. People who have shotgun weddings drive up the divorce rates because their irresponsibility is factored in the 50% rate. They don't get married because they want to be together, they do it because they made a mistake and jumping into an even bigger one to fix it.

-DO NOT CHEAT OR SLEEP AROUND. KEEP IT CLASSY. This isn't a religious argument but you would be surprised at how this isn't common sense. Sleeping around in marriage is just low class and trashy. Black people are better than that and if you are bored with the same girl, try spicing up the bedroom by bringing new techniques or chance positions. Don't let dusty nikkas put peer pressure on you to fukk around. Save that shyt for the trash. Learn some self control. Do not have an open marriage, they have a 90% failure rate. Keep yourself along with your wife physicall fit and sex will often improve drastically if the bedroom sucks. I seen dudes fukk up great marriages sleeping with dirty ass hoodrats on the side.

Marriage is hard work and a lot of sacrifice but it is an investment. You will have a much easier time building wealth, getting a decent house in a great neighborhood and providing a stable home with your kids getting married. It's not bullet proof, nothing is but you will significantly reduce your chance of getting a divorce. A lot of middle class white people already follow these steps already. Yes, some fall through the cracks but this allows white people to pass on wealth, generation upon generation while black people lag behind. You still have to gain emotional maturity to handle marriage and learn how to treat a woman with respect but these 5 steps are almost poverty proof. If you don't know what you're doing or how to do it, emulate people you see in long successful marriages and don't be afraid to ask them questions. Remember, marriage is an investment and you only get out of it what you put in. You don't put shyt in, you don't get shyt out of it. You put a lot in, you get a lot out of it. This will allow you to have the resources to tackle systemic white supremacy.

 

[eastside313]

Why ? That shyt is irrelevant.....not to mention there's no accurate way of telling what the most common reason was for all of those women. And keep in mind, their cited reason doesn't mean shyt, since lying during divorce is common on both sides. Just because a woman claims a man did shyt during the marriage, doesn't mean it actually happened....

I see you going down the road of insinuating that men's behavior during the marriage, is the main reason behind most (or even a good number) of women initiating divorce. You have no concrete proof of that....just like the nikka who thinks most women get divorced because they get bored, doesn't have anything to prove that either. That's what y'all WANT to believe, even though there are many different reasons for divorce (that actually went down, and aren't just made up and claimed in court, as ammo against the other party):

- husband hits wife
- wife hits husband (yes, this happens)
- husband cheats on wife
- wife cheats on husband
- husband loses interest in wife
- wife loses interest in husband
- husband/wife morphed into an all-around general a$$hole/bytch that's unpleasant to be around
- husband has financial difficulties
- husband/wife develops serious drug/alcohol problem
- other various reasons......or combinations of the above

But like I said, all that shyt is irrelevant anyway. 70% of women initiating divorce proves one thing without a doubt: marriage itself doesn't guarantee a stable family unit, REGARDLESS of who you believe is usually the main cause of marriages ending.....

So why the fukk are people acting like signing that contract leads to stronger family units?

Let's say you have 100 black couples. 50 of those couples get married and have kids, stay married for like 7 years on average, then get divorced and split up for various reasons. The other 50 couples never get officially married.....but they stay together in one place, have/raise kids, and all 50 couples actually manage to remain together, well after the kids have grown up and moved out.....

Are y'all telling me the 50 couples who got married made more of an effort to create a stronger black family and raise their kids in a stable home, just because they had some bullshyt ceremony, signed a contract and had the temporary official titles of husband/wife?

in the real world a man will cheat on woman of years before she finally cheats.

Carry on