I don't know how to phrase it properly -- my friend's brother is also autistic, and is also prone to violent episodes on a near daily basis. He was in a care home, but his family felt they were neglecting him, so they've been taking care of him for maybe 3 or 4 years now.
I've never met his brother, and I actually don't think I've been over to his home since his brother has moved in. He doesn't talk about it very much, but he does tell me stories from time to time. Oftentimes, he mentions that his brother is quite strong, and it takes a lot of effort to restrain him between himself, his stepfather and two siblings.
He has also explained that to sort of work with people on the spectrum, you have to analyze their behavior, and why they're doing what they're doing. He told me there's like 4 or 5 main drivers -- attention seeking, escape, stimulation, or seeking a tangible good/reward. So, for example, if he wants a candy bar and he's not given it, he'll start punching holes in walls.
Understanding the behavior is important, because caretakers need to understand what they're potentially rewarding, and the consequences of doing so.
I definitely feel sympathy for the writer. Taking care of others is not easy. At least with the terminally ill, you know it won't be your whole life.